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Old 12-21-2012, 09:43 AM
Annie-Pat's Avatar
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Default Setbacks-Are they Serious?



What do you think of when you hear the word “setback”?

For me, regression and pain spring to mind. Failure and loser are a close second. It’s definitely nothing positive.

Let’s take a closer look at this.
1. Regression. If I’m on a diet, doing great, then succumb to a big piece of birthday cake, I see it as a step backward, to my old ways. And before I know it, I just give up and quit. What’s the use, right?
2. Pain. It sure doesn’t feel GOOD to have a setback. In fact it reinforces my low self image. “See, I knew I’d never do this.” Again, I give up and quit.

We need to reframe this.

First, expectations are an unspoken current that runs through the mind, so look out for them. We EXPECT change to be easy and fast, and when it isn’t, there’s something wrong with me. It’s the fast food mentality we’ve come to know. Perhaps before you change your behavior, change your expectations. “This will take as long as it takes. I will fall off the horse on occasion and I WILL GET BACK ON WHEN I DO.”

That’s the spirit.

Now about the pain, thing. Sometimes change is hard, sometimes it’s easy. The pain just IS, Peaches. Not good, not bad. Try looking at it as pain that transforms vs pain that keeps you stuck. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. So pay attention to what type of pain you’re feeling. That will help you far more than beating yourself up over having it in the first place.

Know that what appears to be real, might not be. The traveler heading to the mountain top is aware that they will traverse hills and valleys along the way. Even though it appears they are going downhill as they pass through the valley, THEY ARE STILL CLIMBING. We don’t always have a big picture focus, do we? In fact, you can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame. So you’re not “regressing”; you’re still climbing up. This valley is just part of the journey.

Have a “hot dog” experience. Consider that as you learn new ways, your mind will present you with all kinds of opportunities to practice using them. “Hot dog! Another chance to improve my skills!” See? It’s not regression, it’s a hot dog experience. [somebody pass the mustard, please.]

You’re not being punished, it’s not karma, you’re not bad…you think you’re special. That’s right, Ms. Low Self Esteem. Cue the violins. Put on the martyr shirt. “Special” is in town.
Hey, I do it, too. All the time. [ I have a degree in “I’m Special.”]

“Why is this happening to me?”

Ever ask that? That’s got “special” written all over it. And it sets you up for more pain than you currently face. [Special is sneaky that way.]

Here’s a better question: “Who am I NOT to be frustrated, sad, angry, fill-in-the-blank?”

Welcome to humanity. Falling off horses allowed. Blessed to be stressed, Baby.
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Old 12-26-2012, 03:33 AM
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Join Date: Dec 2012
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Setback? whats that? nope, i'm still moving forward even after i lost my home. Still many more decades to look forward too.
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