Go Back   WAHM Forums - WAHM.com >

Welcome to the WAHM Forums - WAHM.com.

Welcome to WAHM Forums

Already registered? Login above 


To take advantage of all the site's features, become a member of the largest community of Work-At-Home Moms.

The advertising to the left will not show if you are a registered user.

Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 12-21-2012, 09:43 AM
Annie-Pat's Avatar
Self-care Advocate
Thread Starter
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 346
Default Setbacks-Are they Serious?

What do you think of when you hear the word “setback”?

For me, regression and pain spring to mind. Failure and loser are a close second. It’s definitely nothing positive.

Let’s take a closer look at this.
1. Regression. If I’m on a diet, doing great, then succumb to a big piece of birthday cake, I see it as a step backward, to my old ways. And before I know it, I just give up and quit. What’s the use, right?
2. Pain. It sure doesn’t feel GOOD to have a setback. In fact it reinforces my low self image. “See, I knew I’d never do this.” Again, I give up and quit.

We need to reframe this.

First, expectations are an unspoken current that runs through the mind, so look out for them. We EXPECT change to be easy and fast, and when it isn’t, there’s something wrong with me. It’s the fast food mentality we’ve come to know. Perhaps before you change your behavior, change your expectations. “This will take as long as it takes. I will fall off the horse on occasion and I WILL GET BACK ON WHEN I DO.”

That’s the spirit.

Now about the pain, thing. Sometimes change is hard, sometimes it’s easy. The pain just IS, Peaches. Not good, not bad. Try looking at it as pain that transforms vs pain that keeps you stuck. THERE IS A DIFFERENCE. So pay attention to what type of pain you’re feeling. That will help you far more than beating yourself up over having it in the first place.

Know that what appears to be real, might not be. The traveler heading to the mountain top is aware that they will traverse hills and valleys along the way. Even though it appears they are going downhill as they pass through the valley, THEY ARE STILL CLIMBING. We don’t always have a big picture focus, do we? In fact, you can’t see the picture when you’re in the frame. So you’re not “regressing”; you’re still climbing up. This valley is just part of the journey.

Have a “hot dog” experience. Consider that as you learn new ways, your mind will present you with all kinds of opportunities to practice using them. “Hot dog! Another chance to improve my skills!” See? It’s not regression, it’s a hot dog experience. [somebody pass the mustard, please.]

You’re not being punished, it’s not karma, you’re not bad…you think you’re special. That’s right, Ms. Low Self Esteem. Cue the violins. Put on the martyr shirt. “Special” is in town.
Hey, I do it, too. All the time. [ I have a degree in “I’m Special.”]

“Why is this happening to me?”

Ever ask that? That’s got “special” written all over it. And it sets you up for more pain than you currently face. [Special is sneaky that way.]

Here’s a better question: “Who am I NOT to be frustrated, sad, angry, fill-in-the-blank?”

Welcome to humanity. Falling off horses allowed. Blessed to be stressed, Baby.
Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 12-26-2012, 03:33 AM
jblawg's Avatar
WAHM Regular
Join Date: Dec 2012
Posts: 31

Setback? whats that? nope, i'm still moving forward even after i lost my home. Still many more decades to look forward too.
Reply With Quote

goals, self help, setback

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off