Recent research concludes that it is better to instill good behavior in your child through a rewards system rather than a punishment system. Instead of spanking them when they commit mistakes, you should do the opposite where you give rewards to children when they do something good. As parents, we must know how to reward good behavior every time we see our child doing it. It is our way of acknowledging the child's positive efforts.
Benefits of a Reward System
- Rewards give a positive reinforcement to the child. Children will repeat the deed when they see that the people around them approve it.
- Physical punishment does not only hurt the child physically but emotionally too. This happens especially when you punish the children immediately but you don't explain the reason for your spanking. This teaches the child that even a parent cannot regulate emotions. Rewards encourage the kids to let go of the bad habits sans effort and unnecessary spanking from the parent.
- Children see rewards as a special message of love from parents. One reward, even just a hug, sends the message of "I love you."
Reward System Tips
Here are some recommended tips when developing your reward system.
- Always give your gifts with love. Even if you give the most expensive item to your children but if they don't feel your sincerity in doing it, they will have doubts. Instead of just giving the reward, compliment the gift giving with a hug or a kiss.
- Be clear with your rewards system. Every family can decide on what to give the child after the deed. Learn to set a price and hold on to your promise. A child has a sharp memory and once you don't fulfill your promises, you invite rebelliousness instead.
- Add thrill to the game Learn to give rewards even if you don't promise one. You can also add creativity in reward giving by blindfolding your child before presenting the item.
- Items are not the only rewards you can give to your children. Sometimes, a hug alone is already satisfying. Rewards can also come in the shape of privileges and responsibilities. For example, you reward your child's honesty by giving your kid the power to decide on what movie the family will watch, what pizza flavor to order, and even what color of the curtain to choose. Another option is you let your child play the computer game for an hour. Always remember that the thought is what matters in the end and as long as your child feels rewarded, you did your job.
- Let your child understand the importance of the activity. At first, your child will see getting rewards merely as a game. You must eventually be able to explain your point; especially when they're growing up.
Responsible parents want their kid to grow to be good citizens. More than just making your child happy, this technique teaches a rule that even adults sometimes forget; good actions will be compensated in the end.