by Catie Hayes of WomanLinks.com
In keeping with the start of a new year, I thought it only fitting
to set out some ground rules. In the spirit of The Who's 'We Won't
Get Fooled Again', it's time for Former Nice Girls to build a year
and a life that honors who we are, without explanation or apology.
Feel free to print this out and refer to it whenever the need arises.
Soon enough it will be committed to memory and its practice will
be a breeze.
1.. We have the right to say 'no'.
This applies to appointments we don't have time for, family obligations
we'd rather not meet, behavior that is unacceptable or anything
that degrades us, manipulates us or dishonors our hearts.
2.. We have the right to speak honestly.
If we don't agree, we will say so. Our opinions and observations
matter.
3.. We have the right to choose only healthy relationships.
We have the right to live free of other people's baggage, addictions,
dependencies, preconceived notions, and manipulations. We recognize
relationships involving an equal give and take as well as mutual
respect are the right of every human being.
4.. We have the right to make choices that honor us, rather
than please someone else.
We recognize people-pleasing saps our energy and talents, and does
not honor our hearts. We choose to live according to our own standards
and morals and not to satiate the expectations of others.
5.. We have the right to be responsible for our own behavior
and
choices.
When we make mistakes, and we will, it is no one's job but ours
to learn from them and go on. By the same token, if others make
mistakes, we are not responsible for cleaning up after them or fixing
the situation.
6.. We have the right to be happy.
Our lives are a gift, not to be frittered away playing the martyr,
the victim, the scapegoat or anything less than who we truly are.
7.. We have the right to be angry.
Our anger does not need to be justified or explained to anyone.
It's okay to be infuriated, it's okay to seek change, and it's okay
not to pretend we aren't angry when we want to scream.
8.. We have the right to want something better for ourselves.
We have this right, not because someone owes us, but we owe it to
ourselves to make the life we desire.
blessings,
Catie
copyright 2004 WomanLinks.com