Funny Fiverr Seller Requests

[andra33]

Hello everyone

I really need to share this. I provide writing services on Fiverr. I'm a fitness trainer and nutritionist among others, so my gigs are related to health. I receive all kinds of requests - some want workout plans and diet plans for $5. Others want extensive studies on nutrition. Of course, I cancel these orders right away, but the one I got today is just....see it for yourself:

Please write an article on Epigenics, Diet, and the Brain.
Certain foods such as beets can silence autism.
Foods high in omega, such as wild salmon, avocado, and coconut
Please cite only primary sources (at least five) such as university studies with citations or at least credit referenced.
This is for very smart audience so please don't feel the need to dumb it down. Please make it erudite. And humor is welcome.
If is for a website focused on human potential. It is to be informative, so list food people should eat to function at their highest. Don't list what not to eat. I'd like to introduce people to the field of epigenics. The audience is sophisticated, so please make the article more sophisticated than Dr.Phil.
The main point of website is to encourage people to take control of their own lives. They are not victims of their circumstances, even their genes. Through their good thoughts and lifestyle disciplines and rituals they can create the chromosomal experience of their choosing.
Give a caveat that you are not a doctor but that you are forming an opinion from reliable academic resources.

Now really...How could someone expect me or anyone else to do tons of research and "make the article more sophisticated than Dr.Phil" for $5? Come on...

[danasurvey]

"make the article more sophisticated than Dr.Phil"

That's hilarious

$5 buys a lot these days.

[Jesswoods]

Ooo, I needed that chuckle this morning!

I hope this person was kidding around...but based on the things I've seen in this line of work for the past 2.5 years, I'd say he was serious.

Did anyone else imagine Sheldon Cooper's voice as they read through that...?

[LuvWAHLife]

Originally Posted by andra33

Hello everyone

I really need to share this. I provide writing services on Fiverr. I'm a fitness trainer and nutritionist among others, so my gigs are related to health. I receive all kinds of requests - some want workout plans and diet plans for $5. Others want extensive studies on nutrition. Of course, I cancel these orders right away, but the one I got today is just....see it for yourself:

Please write an article on Epigenics, Diet, and the Brain.
Certain foods such as beets can silence autism.
Foods high in omega, such as wild salmon, avocado, and coconut
Please cite only primary sources (at least five) such as university studies with citations or at least credit referenced.
This is for very smart audience so please don't feel the need to dumb it down. Please make it erudite. And humor is welcome.
If is for a website focused on human potential. It is to be informative, so list food people should eat to function at their highest. Don't list what not to eat. I'd like to introduce people to the field of epigenics. The audience is sophisticated, so please make the article more sophisticated than Dr.Phil.
The main point of website is to encourage people to take control of their own lives. They are not victims of their circumstances, even their genes. Through their good thoughts and lifestyle disciplines and rituals they can create the chromosomal experience of their choosing.
Give a caveat that you are not a doctor but that you are forming an opinion from reliable academic resources.

Now really...How could someone expect me or anyone else to do tons of research and "make the article more sophisticated than Dr.Phil" for $5? Come on...

LOL. Kinda reminds me of a select few clients who use TB. (I'm not bashing TB clients overall because many of them are great - but this looks like it could have been posted in the TB OO pool by someone who would undoubtedly request five revisions before rejecting the order. The only detail missing here is a requirement of photos with sources cited.)

[jponorato]

That's like the guy who posted here wanting well researched 1,000 word articles — and was willing to pay a whole 6 bucks for them. They had a whole laundry list of other strictures as well.

Less than a penny a word? Forget it. There was some supermodel that said "I don't get out of bed for less than $10,000 a day"; I don't command those rates as yet, but I think I'm at that point where I can laugh at anything less than two cents a word.

[mwldream]

I love Fiverr - though mainly for the entertainment factor!

We use it to sell advertising space on our blog and we have had some really good funny ones. Though, it does amaze me how many don't actually know what a banner is.

Or have something in a completely unrelated niche and expect the advertising to convert!

Or my personal favourite was one about getting your girlfriend fit instead of fat that was extremely offensive to women.

I honestly feel that people that buy on Fiverr are missing a few brain cells!

[avalovesart]

Originally Posted by mwldream

I honestly feel that people that buy on Fiverr are missing a few brain cells!

Lol - although I disagree with you on that, as I've had plenty of perfectly reasonable clients on Fiverr (and some hilariously unreasonable potential clients, such as the OP's.)

[mwldream]

Originally Posted by avalovesart

Lol - although I disagree with you on that, as I've had plenty of perfectly reasonable clients on Fiverr (and some hilariously unreasonable potential clients, such as the OP's.)

I should re-phrase that I would say that 8/10 they are perfectly normal. But those other 2/10 always end up standing out a lot more

As a result I have a 20% cancellation rate due to people not understanding what they have ordered or having strange requests.

Had another one this morning that has ordered a banner advert for my diet blog and they are in the viagra niche and feel it is a good mix.

Then yesterday there was one that didn't actually know what a banner was even though they had ordered a banner ad!

However on the other hand I do have some great buyers on there!