OT: Fun With Clients

[CJWrite]

I found this today while doing...ahem...research? I figured y'all would get a kick out of it.

Clients From Hell

[Marketing Maven]

Thank you! This site is going to be one of my regular stops now. Great stories . . . they resonate.

[anng]

I snickered at some, but the request for a phone number I get. I live in a dead zone and to get a cell signal, I have to walk into my back yard and then turn so that I'm pointed south. A simple minute long phone conversation on my cell can turn into a 10 minute nightmare of constant dropping. I have clients who ask for a landline number all the time and don't think twice.

[babs6219]

I think some of these sound familiar...reminds me of my second client who told me he loved what I was doing, he wanted 10 more articles as soon as possible, but he would like them longer. Okay, that's fine, but then he said he didn't want me to use as many words. Did he mean longer paragraphs? No subheadings or bullets? Did he want contractions instead of two separate words? No, longer articles with fewer words.

Funny thing is I did my best but really changed nothing about my writing style and added 300 words per article. He said he loved it and that he knew I would understand what he meant. Wrote for him for over a year and three years later, still no clue what the problem actually was.

Thanks for sharing!

[VintageMama]

That's great! Thanks for the laugh.

[beanandpumpkin]

I've just spent a half hour reading through that site and cracking up! Great diversion! Now back to work!

[Lumara]

Some of the descriptions had me LOL. That was great!

[ErinHill226]

Some of those were really funny! And they reminded me of a guy I've had the misfortune of dealing with recently. Here is one part of a recent conversation we had that really stands out:

him: So, how many blog posts do you think I need? One for each product?

Me: Well, blogs are really more ongoing. To be effective as a marketing tool, you'd want to update your blog regularly.

Him: Okay. That sounds good. We can add a new post weekly.

Me: No problem. I charge X amount per post of around 400 words.

Him: Wait. I have to KEEP paying you for these too?

Me: Only if you want me to KEEP writing them...

[anng]

Originally Posted by ErinHill226

Some of those were really funny! And they reminded me of a guy I've had the misfortune of dealing with recently. Here is one part of a recent conversation we had that really stands out:

him: So, how many blog posts do you think I need? One for each product?

Me: Well, blogs are really more ongoing. To be effective as a marketing tool, you'd want to update your blog regularly.

Him: Okay. That sounds good. We can add a new post weekly.

Me: No problem. I charge X amount per post of around 400 words.

Him: Wait. I have to KEEP paying you for these too?

Me: Only if you want me to KEEP writing them...

Sadly, there are people out there that still have no clue what Google is looking for. On the other hand, one of my older clients realized this recently and asked if I'd do four gaming news-related blogs per day (300 words) for $15 a pop, and as it's a subject I adore, I can easily do three per hour, so I'm able to scale back on a less enjoyed project.

[Lumara]

I can so relate to the stories at that website! I was developing a website for a business owner who was told at the beginning of the project to not make any changes to the website until I was done. After I uploaded one page, she went in and changed the font. Then she sent me an email:

Client: You changed the font, and I liked the original one better. Change it back.

Me: I changed it back, but you are the one who made the change. Please do not change anything until the website has been completed

Then she went in and rearranged some of the graphics, and sent me the following email:

Client: I don’t like the new locations for the pictures. Please put them back the way they were.

This went on for several days. She’d make changes to the website after I uploaded a page, wouldn’t like what she did, and then would ask me to fix it. This was a fixed-rate contract, so I was spinning my wheels, wasting time and unable to complete the website and get paid because of her constant changes and requests for me to fix what she had just done. I dropped her as a client. The website design company who contracted my services offered me a bonus to continue with her, but some people aren’t worth the aggravation.