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Old 07-22-2008, 07:37 AM
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I have worked at a small restaurant for about a year now. I try to keep a positive attitude about lifeand look for the good in people instead of bad on a regular basis. I am grateful for life and what it has given me whether it be good or bad. I appreciate the good and learn from the bad.

I work with an older lady who is totally opposite and we clash on a regular basis. She talks ugly about anyone she can every day that she works. Any changes that are made by the owner are talked about in a negative way by her.My schedule was changed and she made a negative comment about it. Also, a customer asked about me when I was off and she gave him a wrong and negative comment about me.I don't want to be a part of her negative comments, but yet I feel the need to defend myself.

How do I keep the peace at a negative job environment? Yes, I have talked to the owner about it, but he does not do anything. Any suggestions?

Ally
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Old 07-22-2008, 10:01 AM
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It's a difficult position for sure. I have negative co workers here, one that I share an office with, so I can understand how you feel.

I just keep my communication with them concise and to the point. I discuss work related issues only and move on, trying to spend little time around them. Luckily for me, most here are positive and want to be here, so I enjoy 95% of the people I work with.

I enjoy being pleasant and focusing on the positive. I keep positive quotes posted on my computer, my bulletin board, etc. I start my day on a positive and try hard to keep focused on that for the entire day. I work where many people look to me to have an upbeat, happy attitude (nursing home), and I don't want to let our residents down..they so need the positive and happy frame of mind here.

Just realize your co worker must be very unhappy with herself and her life.
I feel sorry for people like that. Be polite, even when she is negative and back biting towards you and just realize where it all comes from.
Heather
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Old 07-22-2008, 12:28 PM
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Thanks for the reply. I will definately take your advise.




Take care,
Ally
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Old 07-22-2008, 01:33 PM
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wait till she has a full tray and isn't paying attention to you, then trip her, she'll probably be out for a few months with the hip replacement, giving you some much needed breathing time
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Old 07-22-2008, 01:38 PM
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One thing you can do is to let this lady know that you dont want to participate in her gossip and you would like for her to keep all negitave comments to herself.
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Old 07-22-2008, 02:38 PM
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wait till she has a full tray and isn't paying attention to you, then trip her, she'll probably be out for a few months with the hip replacement, giving you some much needed breathing time


[img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img][img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img][img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img][img]smileys/smiley36.gif[/img]

ahh, I so needed a laugh right now. Just the visual image of that happening. I know it may not be nice but?

I agree with the others, a negative person is usually unhappy about there own self. Finding faults and all the negatives with others can give them a weird sense of self satisfaction. Just stay out of her way and keep all conversations short.
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Old 07-22-2008, 04:24 PM
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Thanks for the replies. They are great ones and it would be funny if I had the courage to trip her. lol I think my guilt over hurting another person even if they are evil, would overwhelm me. I just can't hurt another person on purpose. It is not what I am about. I like uplifting people; not breaking them down. Maybe I should slip a "Happy Pill" in her water. lol

I will definately ignore her ugliness and I am sure she will move on. I will also keep my conversations with her short and about the job. Thanks again.

Ally
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Old 07-22-2008, 04:55 PM
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I agree, she is probably unhappy, and she resents you 'cause you're not. I also agree that it's good to not get into a battle, or get pulled into gossip, or let her get you down. But I think she knows that what she's doing makes people uncomfortable and she knows no one will stand up to her, so in that way, she's bullying. It gives her powerwhen shemakes you feel bad.


Could you look her in the eye and (without emotion, just factually, and a little loud) say, "that was a mean thing to say." Then wait for her to turn away first. I bet she keeps her comments to herself after that because bullies don't like to be called on out what they're doing. If she wants to argue, just repeat. "That was a mean thing you said." Then you can turn away because you've made your point and you're not going to discuss it.
AFTER that, don't hold a grudge. Be your usual sunny self, say hello, ask her how things are going, etc. You may notice a whole change in her personality and you can respect each other.

My son's Middle School did a lot of education on bullying, and they taught kids (bullied or bystanders) to stand up to bullies. It doesn't take much to make them stop.Just momentary courage. THEN accept the former bully into your group, respect them for who they are, and make them play by the rules.

And if that doesn't work, go with the tripping!!! Good luck!
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Old 07-22-2008, 07:09 PM
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Document and report them to HR.
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Old 07-23-2008, 03:34 AM
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I have stood up to her and got ugly when she said negative things about me to the customer that asked about me. She tried to turn the comment she made into a joke.

I am just going to take yall's advise and keep the conversations with her geared only to the job and short. Thanks for all of the replies.

Ally
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