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  #21 (permalink)  
Old 09-20-2010, 08:01 PM
rachadelle's Avatar
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Jolly View Post
I would rather have a deep conversation and a romantic interlude with my lover/hubby than watch porn with him. I prefer to be first and only.
My husband and I don't watch it all the time maybe once a month together other than that he never watches it unless it is with me. Just because someone watches porn doesn't mean that you are not the only one in their life. I think that women that get offended by their husbands watching porn are self-conscious because I can guarantee you that my husband doesn't look at other women the way he looks at me and it is because I don't have low self-esteem about myself and I keep my husband happy. That is all that matters. We are very open in our marriage but just because we watch porn together doesn't mean that it will lead to swinging or anything like that. Porn is not an addiction unless you let run your life and we are two sensible adults not porn addicts and no we are not Christians but trust me there are Christians that watch porn. It has nothing to do with anyone's religious affiliation. I agree with writermommy4 as well.
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  #22 (permalink)  
Old 09-23-2010, 11:47 AM
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Wow. My hubby and I must be freaks. lol

His previous wife was completely and totally against porn. I myself enjoy watching porn. So when we got together I made sure he knew I was completely cool with it. We don't watch it because we don't desire each other. We still have sex on a regular basis and are just as attracted to each other now (I'm full term pregnant, and the worst I've looked since we got together) as we were in the beginning.

Think of it this way. Is there a fetish or interest he may have that you don't share? Porn could be his way of satisfying that desire in a healthy manner. Example: I have a friend who is bisexual, but her husband views bringing anyone into their sex life, male or female in any manner, cheating. Rightfully so. So, she gets her fix by watching porn. He is completely okay with it.

Just talk about it. A little communication could go a long way in getting to the bottom of his sudden interest.
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  #23 (permalink)  
Old 10-01-2010, 07:17 AM
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Just because he looks at porn does not mean that he does not love you or find you attractive. But if you're uncomfortable you should let him know and he should respect you enough not to.
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  #24 (permalink)  
Old 10-01-2010, 07:21 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by Joline86 View Post
I have been with my fiance for 7 years now. We have two beautiful daughters and a third child on the way. He recently got a flyer in the mail to sign up for Playboy and he was joking about sending it in because it was "such a good deal". I, being the laid back wife that I am, told him that I didn't care. I am now having second thoughts. I am worried that I am not as attractive as I used to be, especially now, and he never had any magazines before. Am I loosing it? Should I be worried? How do the rest of you ladies deal with this? Are you OK with your husband "looking"? Any feedback is greatly appreciated.
Your not loosing it men just love Porn! Remember being told its natural to masturbate. Now I get offended when my husband watches porn without me! I know your probably thinking why?? Take some ignitive and watch it or look at it with him you would be surpised how that can spice it up between you two.. If your a layed back wife which its sounds to me you are you should have no problem jumping in there... Just be open and honest with him on how it makes you feel...
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  #25 (permalink)  
Old 10-03-2010, 05:19 AM
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Quote:
Originally Posted by rachadelle View Post
My husband and I don't watch it all the time maybe once a month together other than that he never watches it unless it is with me. Just because someone watches porn doesn't mean that you are not the only one in their life. I think that women that get offended by their husbands watching porn are self-conscious because I can guarantee you that my husband doesn't look at other women the way he looks at me and it is because I don't have low self-esteem about myself and I keep my husband happy. That is all that matters. We are very open in our marriage but just because we watch porn together doesn't mean that it will lead to swinging or anything like that. Porn is not an addiction unless you let run your life and we are two sensible adults not porn addicts and no we are not Christians but trust me there are Christians that watch porn. It has nothing to do with anyone's religious affiliation. I agree with writermommy4 as well.
I commented here months ago, but I have to say I am not at all surprised by the kinds of responses given.
Don't fool yourself into thinking that porn is okay to bring into your marriage and that you have it under control when you view it with your husband. There is nothing wrong with being the only woman in your husband's life in a multitude of ways, specifically sexually. Your marriage bed is meant just for the two of you, there's not even room for "imaginary people". Expectations of each other get ridiculous also when you allow porn into your lives. Many women don't even realize that they have low self esteem and it gets lowered the more they watch porn with their men or let their men watch porn alone. Giving in and watching porn with your husband does not show or prove to anyone that you are truly secure in yourself. Actually, it can show the exact opposite, it's just condoning the behavior. why not hold your man to a higher standard because you deserve it? Because you're worth it? He did after all sign up to be with just you sexually for the rest of his life after all. And I quoted this particular response because it did mention Christianity, and I had to speak on that. Yes there are Christians who watch porn, because Christians are people and fail too. But I don't believe any couple who calls themselves Christians would be comfortable sitting around watching porn together. They would know it is wrong and should not be brought into their marriage bed, they might struggle with it, but they would certainly not continue in those ways.
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  #26 (permalink)  
Old 10-03-2010, 04:20 PM
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Just saying from my experience.... I would think 99.9% of men look at porn, whether we know about it or not. Every man in my life, including my dad and brother, has had an interest in porn (some I would say have even been addicted).

I'm not sure I believe that anyone's significant other isn't or has no interest in looking at porn. I hate the idea, but as long as it's not happening very frequently and he is not masturbating or fantasizing about others then I can deal with it. Does that even make sense?

And no, I definitely wouldn't consider Playboy porn. I would be Ok with my husband ordering Playboy as long as he wasn't having "personal time" with the magazine lol.
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  #27 (permalink)  
Old 10-05-2010, 03:20 PM
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I wanted to thank everyone for responding. Since my original post I have had a discussion with my fiancee and it went completely different than I anticipated. He decided to cancel the subscription because I was upset. No questions asked. It was making me unhappy so he just wouldn't have it. The way that he responded really made me realize that he did not love me any less, he still found me attractive and most importantly, he respected me and my feelings. It was because of this that I decided to buy the subscription for him. It has not changed a thing. He actually READS the magazine. I can tell because I read it to see what he will be looking at and then later he will bring up topics that were in the articles and we will discuss it. We can actually look at it together and it does not make me uncomfortable or self-conscious. We even joke about how some of the photos are obviously altered.

To those of you who think porn is wrong regardless of how it is used, I thank you for your opinion, but that is just not how I see it. Porn has not changed my relationship, if anything it has made it stronger, and I know that my fiancee would never cheat on me.
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  #28 (permalink)  
Old 11-09-2010, 03:26 PM
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If only we could divert a monor portion of all the money that is being spent on porn.(and it is a minfd boggling amount) . thinkof the good we could do with it...
How do you know you are not supporting sex slave traffic?
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  #29 (permalink)  
Old 11-10-2010, 02:25 PM
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Arrived late to the discussion. Another (??) perspective maybe, I did not read into whole thread..

Men are genetically programmed for variety. Porm lets our brains go there without cheating. Some women buy new clothes (or sleepwear) a lot or change their haircolor and style. It does the same thing by helping our (men's) brains fool us into thinking we are getting the variety our genetics crave while keeping faithful to one person.

No doubt I will get letters... LOL.
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  #30 (permalink)  
Old 11-11-2010, 05:56 AM
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I feel a little uncomfortable posting this... But it upset me. My husband "looked" at porn online and I caught him enjoying it a little too much one night, and I got so upset I went to bed crying in the other room. I was hurt. He has stopped looking at this stuff online now.

But now, if there are adult shows on Showtime or HBO we watch them together, say Fake or Real, and just say how bad the movies are. We have fun watching it cause they are so bad. The acting is just the worst.
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