Go Back   WAHM Forums - WAHM.com >

Welcome to the WAHM Forums - WAHM.com.

Welcome to WAHM Forums

Already registered? Login above 

OR

To take advantage of all the site's features, become a member of the largest community of Work-At-Home Moms.

The advertising to the left will not show if you are a registered user.


Reply
 
Thread Tools Search this Thread
  #1 (permalink)  
Old 10-18-2012, 09:11 AM
Annie-Pat's Avatar
Self-care Advocate
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 346
Default Success Secret We Ignore

Secret to Success
I had a personal re-confirmation this morning as to why success often feels unattainable, be it business, weight loss, school, relationship, etc. I employ this secret in ALL my coaching and Iíve let it slide for myself lately.

Iím paying for it, too.

In a nutshell, the big secret is ACCOUNTABILITY.

You can be creative, industrious, well-intentioned, loyal, organized and dedicated, but are you consistently persistent? Thatís where we drop the ball.

I can know what needs to be done, and still not do it. I can have a great plan and not do it. Or Iíll do it for a few days, then stop. Or Iíll sort of do it every day, but not 100%. [ok, you caught me]

You need accountability. Thereís a lot of great things a coach will do with you, but this is in my top three.
Can do this on your own? Sure can, but put the boy scout hat on and ďbe preparedĒ. It doesnít magically happen.
I live in Florida and LOVE Disneyworld. Even if you donít like Disney, you canít help but respect what they have achieved. My favorite Walt quote is, ďThere IS no magic to the magic. Itís all in the details.Ē But those details take accountability, if you want to see them through to fruition. Like I said, be prepared.

Whatever your goal is, whatever you are seeking, be sure to include accountability in your plan. Now I know itís not a race, itís a journey. And yes, I want you to ďenjoy the journeyĒ, but I also want you to stay the course, or there wonít BE a journey to enjoy.

Ok, Pumpkin? [Congrats if you said yes. It means you just started being accountable.]

Reply With Quote
Sponsored Links
  #2 (permalink)  
Old 11-29-2012, 05:59 PM
LetMeRead's Avatar
WAHM Regular
 
Join Date: Nov 2012
Posts: 33
Default get advice

I wish more people held themselves accountable.
Reply With Quote
  #3 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2012, 12:07 AM
Freelance_Mom's Avatar
WAHM Regular
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Clio, MI
Posts: 48
Default

I think my own fear holds me accountable more often than not! I can't afford to fail, so I just keep go-go-going.

I actually judge whether I've had a good day or a bad day by whether or not I've achieved the entire to-do list. Granted, this can be a bit destructive in the other direction too...I can sometimes be inflexible and drive myself way too hard.
Reply With Quote
  #4 (permalink)  
Old 12-14-2012, 07:03 PM
Annie-Pat's Avatar
Self-care Advocate
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 346
Default

You're not alone in that.

Are YOU on your to-do list?


Reply With Quote
  #5 (permalink)  
Old 12-17-2012, 03:12 PM
Freelance_Mom's Avatar
WAHM Regular
 
Join Date: Jul 2011
Location: Clio, MI
Posts: 48
Default

LOL, I love the pic. And the answer is...not...nearly...enough! Saturday though I just lost all motivation and turned into a big lump in front of the video game console, so I suppose that had to count for that day. How do you put yourself on your to-do list, Annie?
Reply With Quote
  #6 (permalink)  
Old 12-17-2012, 03:59 PM
Annie-Pat's Avatar
Self-care Advocate
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 346
Default

Well first, I sometimes forget, and then I find myself feeling quite resentful. Always a sign I'm neglecting me.

Second, I remind myself CONSTANTLY it's no one's job to make me happy. That's MY job. Look for blame to show up when you neglect this job. [sadly, I'm quite good at this. ]

Third, I physically schedule it with my other responsibilities. [I love making lists] Walk the dog, do laundry, have Annie time [whatever it is that is fun for you].

Now the secret is to give "Annie time" equal importance with the other duties. Otherwise we blow it off till tomorrow...which never comes.

Self love and self care are the most important things you can do. Only when your cup is full can you freely give to others. Everything else is sacrifice.

Now sacrifice is fine, but not when it's your steady diet.

Here's to finding your balance, your fun and your me-time. Thanks for asking...
Reply With Quote
  #7 (permalink)  
Old 12-17-2012, 05:43 PM
FreeElectricity's Avatar
Theresa Wilkins
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,242
Default Just about impossible

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Pat View Post
Well first, I sometimes forget, and then I find myself feeling quite resentful. Always a sign I'm neglecting me.

Second, I remind myself CONSTANTLY it's no one's job to make me happy. That's MY job. Look for blame to show up when you neglect this job. [sadly, I'm quite good at this. ]

Third, I physically schedule it with my other responsibilities. [I love making lists] Walk the dog, do laundry, have Annie time [whatever it is that is fun for you].

Now the secret is to give "Annie time" equal importance with the other duties. Otherwise we blow it off till tomorrow...which never comes.

Self love and self care are the most important things you can do. Only when your cup is full can you freely give to others. Everything else is sacrifice.

Now sacrifice is fine, but not when it's your steady diet.

Here's to finding your balance, your fun and your me-time. Thanks for asking...

Scheduling time for myself is just about impossible....at least any real quality time. At the end of the day when everyone finally goes to bed is when I can finally sit and relax and watch one of my shows (I have to DVR everything or I'd never get to watch any shows). But I often have to stay up till 10 or 11 to do that (which is kind of late for this ole gal).

What I really crave is an entire day (or at least like 8 hours) to just be home by myself doing things I like to do...uninterrupted. It's tough. I love to paint (acrylics, water color, oils) but I need to do it uninterrupted for at least 3 or 4 hours or I figure why bother? I'm going to hope for that this winter but schedule it...nah. LOL Between the husband, the businesses, the foster child, my grown children who need help with the grandchildren, my mother who is getting older and so wants more time with me...Nope, doesn't happen.

I DO however make sure that I take care of myself. I MAKE time to go to the gym or sometimes just do a workout at home. At least 1 hour 3 times a week...longer if I can get it. Other than that my shower is about it....and even then the husband is coming in needing something or the foster daughter is texting me questions. LOL I have been telling my husband for a while now that I look at local hotels that have WiFi and think...if I could just spend a couple of days there....LOL
Reply With Quote
  #8 (permalink)  
Old 12-18-2012, 10:01 AM
Annie-Pat's Avatar
Self-care Advocate
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 346
Default

why can't you? sounds real good to me. I'm gonna give you some tough talk here, and pls know I say it with love:

People treat us the way we teach them to treat us.

Perhaps it's time to teach a new lesson?
Reply With Quote
  #9 (permalink)  
Old 12-19-2012, 07:44 AM
FreeElectricity's Avatar
Theresa Wilkins
 
Join Date: Feb 2012
Location: Upstate NY
Posts: 1,242
Default I hear ya

Quote:
Originally Posted by Annie-Pat View Post
why can't you? sounds real good to me. I'm gonna give you some tough talk here, and pls know I say it with love:

People treat us the way we teach them to treat us.

Perhaps it's time to teach a new lesson?

I know what you're saying Pat and I try that the best I know how, but am told I am being "mean" sometimes by the husband. He just doesn't get it. And frankly with the kids, it's just hard to say no and with the grandkids a lot of times I don't want to say no, although sometimes I regret it later when they won't go to sleep if they are spending the night or get up at 5 or 6 am. Our grown kids all work so hard and one son and his wife have 5 kids and so they really need help and/or a break many times.

I feel very blessed to have such a large and loving family so not complaining at all (at least I'm not trying to)...and sometimes I wonder if some of my feelings of being overwhelmed isn't because I am going through menopause...honestly it seems like everything irritates me lately and I have little tolerance for anything out of the ordinary. I do it...I'm nice, I'm helpful, I smile....but sometimes I don't want to! LOL
Reply With Quote
  #10 (permalink)  
Old 12-19-2012, 12:00 PM
Annie-Pat's Avatar
Self-care Advocate
Thread Starter
 
Join Date: Jul 2012
Location: Washington
Posts: 346
Default

Random thoughts....

Taking care of you is not "mean". Self care and selfish are not the same. You can love your husband and still not agree with him. It's ok. He won't think so. That's ok, too.

you are not resp for how another feels, thinks or acts. you ARE resp for you.

what are you afraid will happen if you say no? someone will get angry? not love you?

why is everyone else's need always more impt than yours?

have you ever expressed your needs? people can't read our minds. we think our hurting is obvious, but it's not. plus, you've taught them that you're happy to be a doormat for them. [I no that sounds strong, but it also sounds true.]

discipline is not the enemy of love.

sacrifice turns into smoldering resentment.

your son and his wife need a break? I'm sure they do. AND SO DO YOU.

Menopause gives us the vision to see what we denied for years, and the courage to finally say something about it. It's truly a power surge, not a hot flash! It's your body saying, babytime is over...it's ME time.

I hear denial and avoidance in your words - smokescreens that allow us to keep from changing.

Tell yourself the truth. Hiding hurts. Truth heals.
Reply With Quote
 
Reply

Tags
goals, self help, success

Thread Tools Search this Thread
Search this Thread:

Advanced Search

Posting Rules
You may not post new threads
You may not post replies
You may not post attachments
You may not edit your posts

BB code is On
Smilies are On
[IMG] code is On
HTML code is Off
Trackbacks are Off
Pingbacks are Off
Refbacks are Off