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View Full Version : Advice please.

12-07-2009, 07:27 AM
I posted this in the pregnant forum and got no response. So I thought I would ask here. I have been feeling lost for a while now. I am engaged to a wonderful man. We have a 7 month old between us, and I also have 4 kids from my previous marriage. All the kids are young. And I am two months pregnant. My fiance is excited. He wants us to have two more kids after this one. (so eight total). I come from a big family. I love kids obviously. I am going to school for nursing, mostly pediatrics and eventually want to be a child psychiatrist. But my fiance is in the Navy, and he is wanting to request to join up with a unit overseas for the extra money. He has been once, luckily it was to Kuwait, but this time it could be Iraq or Afghanistan. We are also going to be moving at the end of january, and if he does goes with another group we will most likely be moving again soon after that. He will also most likely be deployed when I deliver. I am afraid of going through a delivery on my own. I am also unsure how I would handle all the kids by myself, with no family or friends around. His family does not approve of me because of my other children, and they will not be happy when we tell them that we are expecting.

I am also terrified that he may change when he comes back from deployment. My first husband was a great man. He served in the Army and served in Iraq. When he came back he had PTSD and refused to get help, He also is bipolar and he quit taking his meds. He became abusive, violent. I begged him to get help, but he wouldn't so I left him. He has since gotten help and he is wonderful with the kids. Our 2 and 3 year old spend half the year with him (3 months with me and then 3 with him, we live on seperate sides of the country) the older two are with me most the time because of school. We have not decided yet when the 2 and 3 year olds are old enough for school which parent they will live with.

I am worried what if my fiance also goes through PTSD and how I will cope with that?

My fiance is a wonderful man, and he loves all the kids, he is great with them. We spend as much family time together as possible. We do all types of things together as a family. I am going to school, taking care of the house, and kids while he works. I quit my last job bc he asked me to be home with the kids.Financially we can handle more kids. But I keep feeling overwhelmed.

Please tell me it is just the hormones

12-26-2009, 07:40 PM
Surprised no one has gotten back to you on this one.
First off, Congrats!!!!
Don't stress so much about the whole PTSD situation with your fiancee. I know thats hard since you've already had a negative experience with your ex. But there's a huge difference between the Army and the Navy when it comes to deployments typically. Soldiers see a lot more action and have to deal with a lot of pretty nasty stuff that they have to cope with and often times don't know how to when they get back. Members of the Navy typically do not have that same type of experience because their jobs are different. So hopefully you won't have to worry about PTSD with him.