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hunterandroger
01-16-2008, 01:58 PM
i've been posting looking fora job on the work at home boards and just found the military board today.

We are stationed at shaw afb in south carolina we have 6 1/2 years until retirement we have one son that will be 4 in march and the other is 16 months

my hubby deployed on friday for 3-4 months. really missing him my oldest is having a terrible time with his daddy being gone.

im not used to the big deployments just the 2 or 3 weeks here

dont know how to adjust to this huge change.


suescott4eva
01-16-2008, 09:40 PM
Hi, my name is Sue,and welcome to WAHM. http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif I understand what you're going through. My fiance just returned home a few months ago from a 15 month tour in Iraq. I agree with you that it's such a hard adjustment.

Our youngest daughter was just shy of 6 when Scott deployed, and she just missed her daddy so much, especially the first month or so that he was away. I found one thing that helped was we talked about him alot, just as if he was here. When we would eat dinner, we would make jokes---HA HA, if Daddy was here, he would say, etc. and things like that. It sounds goofy, but it kind of helped my daughters and me, too! I tried so hard to include him in things that we did, even though he wasn't here.

If you ever need a friend or a shoulder to lean on, please pm me anytime. On the up side, one thing you will learn is just how strong of a woman you are when you go through a deployment. Always remember that. Even if you don't feel it right now, you can do this!! HUGS to you and your family.

Edited by: suescott4eva

hunterandroger
01-16-2008, 09:58 PM
thanks so much for the support yeah we talk about him all the time throughout our day. cant wait for him to be backhome.

I cant imagine saying goodbye for 15 months

Im learning how to do some crafty things to fill up my time.. just started making locker hook rugs which is basically a rag rug getting ready to learn how to quilt to. keeps me busy after the kiddos go to bed and i cant sleep.


suescott4eva
01-17-2008, 04:50 AM
Me too!!! I made lots of scrapbooks while Scott was away--he enjoyed looking at them when he came home. He said it was nice for him. It made him feel like he had been here the whole time. I was always looking for things to keep me busy after the kids were in bed. I love to read, but it took me months before I could concentrate on the page I was reading. http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley6.gif

Quilting sounds fun--I've always envied those who sew, as I couldn't do it to save my life. http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley36.gif

FoundInNature
01-19-2008, 09:10 PM
My hubby is getting ready to go for 4.5 months. I find taking it one day at a time helps. We're also planning on visiting family for spring break to break up the long stretch of time. And we definitely talk about him all the time.

One thing that helps meare my emails to him. I send him a daily email. He may not always get them, and he isn't in a position to email me back. But my subject line is today's date, so he can read them in order. I then write to him all about what happened during that day, what the kids did, who I talked to, the usual stuff I'd tell him once he got home from work. It may not seem all that important to us, but he has told me it's their bread and butter over there. Their days are pretty routine. He sees the same people over and over. The only things that change are what they eat, and even that doesn't change much from week to week. So even if he could write to me, he wouldn't have much to say.

But sending him emails about our days keeps him in the loop. Once he does come home, he knows what's been going on. And it helps you in that you are journaling in a sense. I found that I better understood why I wasn't happy in a new job once I wrote it out in an attempt to explain it to DH.

Just a couple things to keep in mind, though. If you are sending emails to an address ending in ".mil", assume that someone else can read them. In my DH's case, his emails are printed and handed to him. So, just about anyone can read them. You also want to keep them as upbeat as you can. He may not be in a position to do anything about whatever your issue may be, so don't worry him unnecessarily. This goes hand in hand with the lack of privacy issue. Nobody wants to read his emails from you. But they are also concerned about his morale.

This was all brought home to us in a story about a guy in my DH's unit who's wife started sending him all sorts of nasty-grams regarding how terrible a father he was since he wasn't home, how she didn't "sign-up" to be a single mother, swear words all over the place, she hates him, blah, blah, blah. And the poor guy was supposed to actually do his mission while he's getting stuff like that.

Anyways, sorry to get down about this. Just keep your spirits up, and if you need to vent about how difficult this is - come here. Tell us. And keep your most positive words for him. We've been there. I'd be happy to have you PM me any time. Do you have your oldest in pre-school? That definitely helps!

Deanna

hunterandroger
01-20-2008, 06:07 AM
yeah he bought a lap top right before he left so he could get his private emails. I email him everyday sometimes couple times a day tell him how he needs to know is that we love him.

another one he likes is I email him pics of the boys and short video clips so he can see them in action. he loves that.

yesterday I snail mailed him a letter I had my oldest put finger paint on his hands and leave his hand prints on a piece of paper and i dated that and wrote hugs from hunter .. today even though I know the mail wont go out till tuesday i'll do one for him from our other lil boy and write on it for him high five from your lil bug..


have any of you ever seen the daddy dolls for smaller kids .. i was googling yesterday andfound a website where you could have your hubbies pic made into a doll and then even had a voice recorder that daddy could record a message for the little one when they are really missing daddy.. www.daddydolls.com (http://www.daddydolls.com) i think is what it was.. they are kinda pricey but, gosh if it would make the kids feel close to their daddy and have him not feel so far away think it'd be worth it.

yeah when we first got married he always told me that other read the emails with .mil at the end so i tend to only use that when hes stateside and hes to busy for me to call at work so he'll get an email hey bring milk home when ya get off.

hard to believe hes been gone a week and we are moving on to week two without him. things are going pretty good the boys keep me so busy.. and one of our friends that used to beour landlord is teaching me how to make rugs and then going to teach me to quilt to while hes gone.. so that helps on those nights ya cant sleep.

thanksf or the support girls.. i'll definitely be back to chat more over the next few months and dot he same with me if ya need to chat pm me i'm hear for you to.

oh yeah my oldest is in preschool but, probably going to pul him out they sent out an email last week saying that all kids had to havea flu shot yearly to be in the cdc on base and i refuse the flu shot anytime we have gotten is the sickest we have ever been they also want the Hep A series i'm fine with that one but, dont think they should be able to force a parent into getting a flu shot for the child . i'mworkingon fighting this one right now.. still waiting for the base peds to get back to me. to see if we can get some sort of exemption.

angie

suescott4eva
01-20-2008, 09:19 AM
When Scott first got overseas, he was able to get to the MWR on occasion, and we would chat via Yahoo instant messenger, but they were limited to just 15 min. When he arrived at his permanent base in Iraq, they did have internet available in their barracks ($65 month). So I sent him a laptop for his "room", and when he wasn't out on missions, he could get on there. I had my cell phone logged in to Yahoo all the time, so when he signed in, my phone would beep. It was GREAT, especially with the time difference---it was usually in the middle of the night here, so I never missed him. I don't know what we would have done with Yahoo, because Scott has never been much of a letter writer. http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley36.gif

We purchased a webcam, so he could see me and the girls, and someone left one behind in the barracks, so he had one, too. It was just great to be able to see him--even though with the connection, it was more of a freeze-frame type image, but we didn't mind---seeing him was GREAT!

He came home on R&R last February, so I left up our Christmas tree until then, so we could have Christmas all over again with Daddy. On Christmas Day Scott called home, only for a few minute, as he was out on a mission, but the girls eached opened a gift on the phone with him, so he could hear them. We made a video of Christmas morning, too, that we later mailed to him.

We had purchased the camcorder right after he left, and it was such a wonderful thing for him to be able to see us on the videos we mailed. I felt like that camcorder was strapped to my arm for 15 months http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley36.gifas we made so many for him--school functions, school concerts, etc. And I know the guys in his platoon all watched them, too---a little piece of home, ya know?

ADLanier
01-20-2008, 06:44 PM
Hello All,

I'm new to this post. Just wanted to say hello to all the other Military Spouses out there. Been married into the Army for 2 years now. Been living in Government housing for one year, and been through one deployment. Thank God he's home now, although this was not his first deployment.....more like his third. The time apart wasn't too bad....we've known eachother since highschool....just never hooked up. Lost contact for a good 8 years before he found me. Been together ever since. I'm just happy he's home to see our first child together to be born next month(we both have children from previous relationships). Not sure how this next deployment is going to go......being at Fort "lost in the woods". I'm praying for sanity. smileys/smiley22.gif