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View Full Version : What should I tell my husband?

08-23-2007, 01:22 PM
Hi Everyone,

My husband is in the reserves andhis unit ask him about goingon a tour in Iraq, he told me he wants to go because it 's good money and that its only for 3 months, this really scares me because of the war. I want to be a supportive wife but If I tell him to go and something were to happen I would never forgive myself and what if he goes and they extend the time to more than 3 months I heard they can do that. Please help?Edited by: wahhippie

08-24-2007, 10:24 AM
What does the tour consist of? Will he be in active combat duty? As long as it's harmless, I would say it would probably be alright, but I am hesitant about saying this cuz you never know, right? Just have a sit down with him and find out what the details of the tour are. Best of luck with everything and I wish your husband a safe trip home if he decides to go.


08-24-2007, 04:36 PM
I understand that you are afraid for your dh, but .. this is his decision, let him know that you support his decision,
b/c realistically he could be deployed/or send on a missionat any time, and being prepared financially, emotionally, and spiritually is the best thing we can do as supportive millitary spouses.

create a plan, that you can look at and refer back to that shows you are are prepared for lifefinancially, and emotionally while he is on his tour.

For example the flylady control journal - all bills-household info-power of attorney-wills- list the phone numbers and names of all of your support people, relatives, friends, fellow millitary wives on the support list,

isput into one binder- it's free you don't have to buy hers, but the checklist is listed, and will give you great ideas on what to add
www.flylady.net (http://www.flylady.net)
The unit, will have a checklistof everything you need to do legally, and let you know who the support people are, every unit has a list, or Family Readiness office that can direct you. You may want to considertalking to some wives whos husbands have been deployed before,or regularly go on missions, or have done mulitple tours, their phone numbers should beon that support list. These conversations will provide the scoop, you may really connect with 1 or 2 of them, and these women will love to speak with you again for support if you dh does choose to deploy.

If you flat out do not agree to him going, if his motivation is financial, by preventing him, or flat out refusing for him to go, he may blame you in the future for not allowing him a chance to earn the extra money to "get ahead" ,(buy a house, investments, etc) and that could put a strain on your marriage.

08-25-2007, 01:59 AM
thanks alot for the advise. I think that I have to tell him howI amfeeling because if something were to happen I would never forgive myself. We really have to talk in lenght about this, I know that he is not going to be in a combat area, so thats a positive. He does the communication system at the headquaters.It just makes me nervous because we are at war.. Thanks again for all the advise.

08-26-2007, 11:56 AM
My husband is in the reserves now too and is in Iraq. I am nervous too, but he really wanted to go. I didn't want him to but if I didn't support him through this I think he would resent me.

As military wives and those that may not have served in the military we may not understand the reason why they want to serve. But we understand that we tell them to do what they love. For my hubby he loves being a Marine. So all I can do is tell him how I feel and that I love him none-the-less.

Then pray lot's and believe he will be safe.

08-28-2007, 09:20 AM
We had a discussion about it, he knows how I feel about it and I told him I would support him if he chooses to go. He really loves what he does and I have to be there for him. So he will be leaving next month for 90 days. I will be praying hard. Thanks for all the support guys

01-07-2008, 08:42 PM
My husband volunteered to go to Bulgaria for 20 days in September. I am not worried about it as they are to train people there. We didn't talk about it much, but both had a good feeling about it. Hope you situation works out ok.

01-11-2008, 12:07 PM
My husband is active duty and is in Iraq right now. It's hard knowing that he's in harm's way, but I get to talk to him often, so that helps. I alsoknow that he's had the best training possible.Plushe's in God's hands.