How to talk to your kids about sexual issues can present certain
challenges. First, the subject itself can be awkward. However, if you
have an open door policy in your house, it may not be too problematic.
It is important to have this discussion with your kids as soon as it
seems appropriate. Discussing safe sex is an essential component of
sexual education and one of the main responsibilities of parents which
should not be taken lightly.
Step 1: Be Realistic and Casual
Don't
make a big deal about the subject of safe sex with your child. Keep
things as casual as possible. Rather than talk about sexual dangers,
start simply and easily. Make the discussion easy for your child to
have. Otherwise, unnecessary anxiety may be created. Pick a time to have
the discussion when you will not be rushed.
Step 2: Focus on Safety
Rather
than give a stern lecture, first find out what your children know about
sex in general. It could be that the subject was covered in school. Go
over what they already know, and then build upon it. For example, find
out what they know about birth control before broaching the subject of
safe sex. Then you can continue onto how birth control methods do and do
not promote safe sex. Some kids mistakenly think that birth control
methods are equal to safe sex. Making this assumption could cause
unnecessary problems so it is important that they know the distinction.
Step 3: Dispel Myths
Many
kids have inaccurate information about sex that they got from friends
and the media. Ensure that what they know about birth control is
accurate. For example, tell them why condoms do not have a 100% rate for
STD and pregnancy prevention. Explain how condoms work to promote safe
sex, but they are not completely safe and there is still risk involved
when using them.
Step 4: Discuss Options
Focus on
what options are available for safe sex. Let them know that safe sex
involves responsible, sensible behavior. Help them understand that
abstinence is the only true way of both preventing sexually transmitted
diseases and pregnancy. While it is the only fail safe method, it can
also be the most unrealistic. Explain exactly how the safe sex methods
can prevent pregnancy. Discuss how female condoms as a barrier method
can reduce risks associated with disease transmission. Include
discussing all birth control devices, as well. Pregnancy prevention is a
part of safe and responsible sex.
Step 5: Stress Safe Sex Importance
Assist
your child in understanding why safe sex is important. Include in the
discussion how safe sex can effect the rest of his life if precautions
are not taken. Do this without focusing too much on the negative, but be
frank and honest. Understanding the reason behind why safe sex is
important will make it far more reasonable that kids will take the
discussion to heart and actively seek to be responsible.
Step 6: Encourage Questions
Refrain
from making the discussion a one way street. Engage your child in
conversation to ensure that he understands what you are saying, why you
are saying it and how it really helps him. Preaching will most likely
not work and serve to separate, rather than bring you and your child
closer.
How to Talk to Your Kids about Safe Sex
