Dear Dad,
I am going to give birth to our first child literally any day now. My husband has been great throughout the pregnancy and I can tell he is excited for our baby to come - in other words, I feel nothing negative from him. He turned to me a couple of days ago and said, "When the baby comes, I won't be no. 1 to you any more."

Any thoughts on this from the male perspective? I am looking at ideas which would be ongoing, ways to keep him included and let him know that he's my no. 1. We will be on one income for awhile, so a lot of nights out without the baby just won't be an option. Thanks for any thoughts you may have on this. Dad says:

This is a great question. Moving from the roll of husband and friend to dad is a big change. Having a baby is a transition like any other. Most people resist change but in the case of a baby, once it's on its way there's no turning back. I found that when our kids came along I was so caught up in the excitement that I hardly noticed the role change had occurred. Now that I look back on it though, I can definitely see that there was a change in our relationship.

The change is easier to take if you already have a strong relationship. I found that we both were so happy to have the new baby that we were closer that before. We now both shared something new, the baby.

You will find that you still have time for each other. It will just be a little different. You will grow into your new roles as quickly as you grew into the roles of husband and wife and wonder how you ever got along before the baby.

The income piece tends to take care of itself. You will adapt your spending habits to meet the needs of the present situation. Maybe a few less mochas and a few more Happy Meals.

Good luck, it's the best time of your life.


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