Parenting Question! Lying about being sick...

[Tigers]

How do you handle this situation? My daughter is in kindergarten and she came home today because she was "sick". When I came to the door to pick her up, she ran to me which made me think that she wasn't sick. Her temp was around 99.4 so that is the only thing that would say that she really is sick but she is acting fine. I don't want her to miss school. It is no big deal for daycare but now that she is in the big leagues, I don't want this happening. Is there anything I could do to ensure that this doesn't happen in the future?? I'm not very creative when it comes to stuff like this. Thanks so much!

[Freelance Bee]

Hi Christina-

I would assume that your school may be acting a little over cautious with all of the virus's and with H1N1 right now. Our school is not usually the nicest regarding absences. Since H1N1, they have changed their tune. My five year old was absent four out of five days last week. I dreaded calling her in sick, but surprisingly they were very pleasant each time.
I took both of my kids to the pediatrician and my seven year old had a temp of 99.5. I was the opposite of you, and assumed she was on the verge of a virus on her own. The doctor told me that he doesn't consider 99 a fever.

I don't think there is really anything you can do about the school sending her home for the temp. They are going to do what they feel is in the best interest of all the students. I wonder if she what prompted them to take her temp in the first place?

[Yuliya Mironova]

I have no children. Just a family-full of doctors - may I comment?

Originally Posted by Tigers

When I came to the door to pick her up, she ran to me which made me think that she wasn't sick. Her temp was around 99.4 so that is the only thing that would say that she really is sick

That's a very real, very physical, thing. She is sick as far as the school is concerned, and rightly and understandably so. That's not a normal temperature. I'm not suggesting it will be anything serious at all, but your heading "lying about being sick" takes me aback a lot, when your daughter has a temperature of 99.4! Sorry.

[jnmurra]

I'm just going to be say...be careful, she may not be lying.

My oldest daughter was just diagnosed with H1N1 this morning; however, she started getting sick Wednesday night with severe coughing (dry cough) and a temp of only 99.5, which to me was abnormal (she usually runs about 98.5 and even a bit lower in the mornings), but nothing to be overreacting to. Thursday, running the same around 99.5 all day, Thursday night, 100.8. Back down to 99.8 this morning at 6:30, but by the time I got her to the doctor at 9:15, 102.1. By the time I got her back home from the doc, a little after 11:00 a.m.? 103 and I have been unable to get it down with adult-strength Tylenol and Advil (per doctor's orders).

Temperatures seem to go up at night, so I would check her again tonight and see.

[AmyLJacobs]

I think the schools are being very cautious right now understandably so with the H1N1 virus. I hope it turns out to me nothing serious and shes able to go back to school Monday. I have received several notes from our school if your kids have any fever, coughing, sneezing etc.. Please keep them home. My son has missed a few days already this year for having a cold they actually thanked me for keeping him home.

[Tigers]

Originally Posted by Yuliya Mironova

I have no children. Just a family-full of doctors - may I comment?



That's a very real, very physical, thing. She is sick as far as the school is concerned, and rightly and understandably so. That's not a normal temperature. I'm not suggesting it will be anything serious at all, but your heading "lying about being sick" takes me aback a lot, when your daughter has a temperature of 99.4! Sorry.

This answer is rude and it upsets me to see it on this board. Is this the direction that the board is taking because I don't like it. I wasn't asking to be judged, I was asking for an answer to my question regardless of how preposterous you think my question was. If you don't have anything nice to say then don't respond.

I understand about H1N1 but what concerns me is that my daughter is not exhibiting any behavior that would have prompted to her to go tell the teacher she wasn't feeling well in the first place and thus get her temperature taken. I'm sure there are times when kids are acting fine and have a slight fever and I don't even notice it.

[MrsCyrcus]

Originally Posted by Yuliya Mironova

I have no children. Just a family-full of doctors - may I comment?



That's a very real, very physical, thing. She is sick as far as the school is concerned, and rightly and understandably so. That's not a normal temperature. I'm not suggesting it will be anything serious at all, but your heading "lying about being sick" takes me aback a lot, when your daughter has a temperature of 99.4! Sorry.

Yulia, what is the normal temp for a child?

[Yuliya Mironova]

Originally Posted by Tigers

This answer is rude and it upsets me to see it on this board.

I apologise unreservedly if I sounded rude, which wasn't my intention at all.

Originally Posted by Tigers

I wasn't asking to be judged, I was asking for an answer to my question

You got one. I'm really sorry it sounded rude to you. I made exactly the same point as Jen, actually, but maybe her words were polite and mine weren't - sorry.

I know you weren't asking to be judged.

Maybe your daughter wasn't asking to be called a liar either, when she was running a bit of a temperature? Again, I'm not trying to be rude, but it was you who used the word "lying" in your heading, you know? It is a public forum, and all that, you know? Members are going to comment, surely this is legitimate? I'm sorry if I chose bad or inappropriate words. It's my third language and I intended no offense. Please excuse me.

Originally Posted by Tigers

regardless of how preposterous you think my question was.

I don't think it was preposterous at all, and I didn't say so, and I didn't imply so, either. Like Jen, I was trying to make the point that maybe your daughter wasn't "lying" after all. That's all.

Originally Posted by Tigers

If you don't have anything nice to say then don't respond.

I was being pretty nice to your daughter, wasn't I? Tell me honestly, do you think I responded because I was trying to be helpful to your family or because I was trying to be rude to you?

[Yuliya Mironova]

Originally Posted by MrsCyrcus

Yulia, what is the normal temp for a child?

You know as well as I do that it varies a little, Dawn, but 99.4 is above average. The point here is that a school takes a child's temperature if the child isn't feeling well. If the child isn't feeling well and has a higher than average temperature, then surely there's a prima facie case that the child may be unwell? And a school is surely rightly concerned about that in the current "health climate" when everybody's worrying that "there's a lot of it about"?

We don't have H1N1 here, but this is the kind of thing I'm involved in very often at the hostel I run, and from the "carer's" perspective, it requires attention, obviously.

Once again, nice try but no cigar.

[MrsCyrcus]

Once again? Nice try, but you can keep your cigar.