Parenting Question! Lying about being sick...

[jessicaj]

I don't know about everyone else, but my kiddos are not the best a conserving their energy when they are sick. They could be running a temp and everything and still be ready to go to the park and play. I have learned not to judge a book by it's cover on this one. Do your best and good luck!

[Annnoura]

I sister, 16, had a bad flu last week. I was told by the doctor when I took her that if she is running a fever, even slight, that doesn't go away when off meds keep her home. Also he said wait 24 till after the fever dispates to let her go back.

Schools are just being really cautious right now. Even the regular flu can really pit kids out of commission. The reason she got sick (and litteraly half the school got sick) is cause kids came to school sick. :-/

[jeangrey]

Originally Posted by Tigers

This answer is rude and it upsets me to see it on this board. Is this the direction that the board is taking because I don't like it. I wasn't asking to be judged, I was asking for an answer to my question regardless of how preposterous you think my question was. If you don't have anything nice to say then don't respond.

I understand about H1N1 but what concerns me is that my daughter is not exhibiting any behavior that would have prompted to her to go tell the teacher she wasn't feeling well in the first place and thus get her temperature taken. I'm sure there are times when kids are acting fine and have a slight fever and I don't even notice it.

I think you're overreacting. Her answer wasn't rude at all, you made it out to be.

[tenXmom]

Originally Posted by Tigers

Is there anything I could do to ensure that this doesn't happen in the future?? I'm not very creative when it comes to stuff like this. Thanks so much!

I always asked mine, "Where don't you feel good?" Or "Why did you go see the nurse?"

DS#3 discovered he could come home early on Fridays (and get a long weekend) if he told his teacher he didn't feel well - it worked for two weeks

DD#7 was once sent home with a slight fever, complaining of a headache and being hot - it was 87 degrees, she was wearing a snow hat, mittens, and sweater while running around at lunch - I'd be hot, sweaty, and have a headache, too but DD wasn't lying

My kids seldom get sick - 10 kids, oldest is in his late twenties and we've seen (I think) 7 cases of the flu (one DD has had it three times, three have never had it) or anything else that has really made them act sick

[Mom2]

Originally Posted by Tigers

I understand about H1N1 but what concerns me is that my daughter is not exhibiting any behavior that would have prompted to her to go tell the teacher she wasn't feeling well in the first place and thus get her temperature taken. I'm sure there are times when kids are acting fine and have a slight fever and I don't even notice it.

I would ask the teacher what happened to prompt her to be sent to the nurse in the first place. Perhaps she did not eat her lunch, appeared flushed, slept too long at naptime or something. Honestly it does sound possible that she was carrying a little bug if she was running higher than normal.

If you ever have concerns in the future whether she is really sick, your intuition may be just right. There will be signs and symptoms of an illness whether it is a sore throat or tugging at her ears with an ear infection...so if you dont see any syptoms at home then your only solution is to get to the bottom of it and find out if she just misses Mommy or does not like school, is getting picked on, what is going on. It is a big adjustment for her this year going to K.

Hope she is doing better today.

[Moore]

Firstly, I'd check carefully her health. Now you should be on the safe side anyway.
If it's OK, I'd try to find out the reason of the case and I'd talk to the child kindly and so on.

[Kim]

Most of the doctors I have seen in my life don't consider it a fever until it hits 100 but anything above 98.6 that stays that way is considered worth watching. The problem with that is that not everyone has a normal temp of 98.6. Mine actually runs around 97 so if I get to 99 it is a big deal.

As for the running to greet you thing, well if she wasn't feeling well then she was probably anxious to get to mommy. But my DS had pneumonia 2 years ago, we caught it before he had to be in the hospital but he was home from school for a week, even at the very beginning I could not keep him down. I knew he was sick but he wanted to be up and doing and wandering around playing. It is their self-defense mechanism from having to rest and take naps. If she is really sick she'll give in when her body makes her.

I don't see how you are really going to keep it from happening again though. Right now schools are being overly cautious and school policies are often not geared for keeping kids in school. If a child goes to the nurse and says they threw up in the bathroom, whether they did or not or anyone saw it, that kid is going home.

[meg27599]

I guess I don't understand who you think is not telling the truth in what you've said?

Your daughter had a temp. H1N1 is going around. I know plenty of parents who would be screaming bloody murder if your child was allowed to stay in school and/or they weren't called to pick up their sick child. Schools are caught between a rock and a hard place, cut them some slack.

As for Yulia (and she and I don't get on or agree about a whole lot) I actually didn't think her post was rude at all.

[AlisonMSmith]

Originally Posted by Tigers

When I came to the door to pick her up, she ran to me which made me think that she wasn't sick.

Honestly, I wouldn't take this as an indicator that she isn't sick. Maybe just that she is glad to see you?

Her temp was around 99.4 so that is the only thing that would say that she really is sick

That temp IS enough to make some people feel crummy and if it's combined with anything else, it certainly could be. I'm not sure why you would ascertain that she is "lying."

I don't want her to miss school. It is no big deal for daycare but now that she is in the big leagues, I don't want this happening.

Oh, honey, if kindergarten is "the big leagues" this little girl is in for one heck of a time! She's tiny and missing kindergarten isn't going to make one bit of difference in her life. And I say that as a mom with six kids -- two now in college and the youngest in kindergarten.

As an aside, I DID lie about being sick when I was a kid. Or, better said, I actually became sick because I so badly did not want to be at school. So much that I was hospitalized in 2nd grade with what was then diagnosed a "a developing ulcer." I just couldn't take the teasing and taunting (come on, a chubby, red-headed kid with glasses? I was doomed). And would do anything to stay home with my mom where it was safe.

If you really do find some kind of persistent pattern in her illnesses -- a pattern that is NOT backed up be fever or other physical causes -- you might want to see WHY she doesn't want to be in school and correct it. IMO kids are way more damaged by being forced to spend all day in traumatizing situations in the name of "education" than they are by missing some days sitting in a desk.

Best,

Alison

[AlisonMSmith]

Holy cow, I just read the rest of this thread.

Yuliya, your English is not the problem. Your comment wasn't rude at all.

This is a public forum and it's disingenuous to post a question about a personal problem and then claim abhorrence at being JUDGED. You were ASKING for judgment explicitly.

You can't possibly expect others to make a judgment about a personal issue while reserving the right that no one judge your statements, your decisions, or your actions -- which are all an inextractable part of the issue you wanted judgment about.

You don't have to agree with any of the feedback you get and you are certainly welcome to give more information or background or to try to persuade others that, indeed, you do need to make sure "this doesn't happen again." But to claim that those who think your assessment might be wrong in its premise are rude or otherwise behaving inappropriately is contrary to logic.

Best,

Alison