Private folder for spousal abuse ...

[svugirl]

Originally Posted by Apollo4290

I have a boyfriend (he calls himeself that) who yells and screams alot. I called his parole officer a couple of weeks ago and Just Great, the parole officer told him I called - boy did I get screamed at. This guy knows where I live and has stalked me in the past, so I never know when or where (I ride the bus) he will show up and he will get me alone. My goal is always to present a calm exterior. I am afraid of his anger - and like you, I think of running and hiding. People say, if he breaks down your door just call 911. I think - yeah right, like he would let me get to my phone. I actually think a restraining order would send him over the edge. If I were to do that, I would have to go live somewhere else. Still, I feel I have a right to live in my apartment and pray he gets arrested for something. I hate living in fear. He says he loves me and only me and always will. A truly sick obsession. He says he thinks about me night and day. I try not to think about him at all. I don't always succeed. Thanks for listening.

Have you called the National Domestic Violence Hotline or your local domestic violence center? They could provide you with some very helpful information on ways you can get out SAFELY. The thing to remember about abuse is that it can escalate to a very dangerous level within a matter of seconds, even when people don't expect it. That's why it's important to find help ASAP, as sometimes the abusers can be unpredictable in their actions. Feel free to PM me if you want to talk. I'll try to help you in any way I can.

[svugirl]

Originally Posted by dagaul101

It would be nice if some generic advice could be given in urgent cases (no names ofcourse) to give help and encouragment for those who need it

Some helpful information...

SAFETY PLANNING

http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/safety-planning/


HOTLINES

National Domestic Violence Hotline

Hotline: 1-800-799-SAFE (7233) / TTY: 1-800-787-3224

Website: http://www.thehotline.org/

Local Help: http://www.thehotline.org/get-help/help-in-your-area/


National Sexual Assault Hotline (RAINN)

Hotline: 1-800-656-HOPE (4673)

Website: http://rainn.org/

Online Hotline: http://rainn.org/get-help/national-sexual-assault-online-hotline

Local Help: http://centers.rainn.org/


National Teen Dating Abuse Hotline (Love is Respect)

Hotline: 1-866-331-9474 / TTY: 1-866-331-8453

Website: http://www.loveisrespect.org/

Online Chat: http://www.loveisrespect.org/resourc...hat-breakdown/


OTHER RESOURCES

Women'sLaw.org - http://www.womenslaw.org/index.php

The Joyful Heart Foundation - http://www.joyfulheartfoundation.org/

Break the Cycle - http://www.breakthecycle.org/

[BusyGal]

Just joined and was surprised to see this topic! I have been in a horribly abusive marriage and know what I speak. I am a WAHM that is very busy; I came on here out of curiosity, but will contribute as I can. I think the important take-away for women recovering from abuse is not hole-up and reflect to no end, but get involved outside the home, even if you work INSIDE the home. Try to fit a few hobbies into your schedule. Take a walks with your child; go to the park. At home, take some time to yourself - read a "guilty pleasure" book, (I just finished "In Malice, Quite Close", by Brandi Lynn Ryder - incredible literary fiction you can get lost in); do some online volunteer work; reach out to others and help THEM cope with the residual effects of moving past their abuse. You're not alone!

[JohnDecker1]

So, for example, someone's abusive husband could theoretically register here as "susie" or whatever and then request access and read all the posts.

[catwoman216]

This is a really interesting folder. Cheryl you are right about people needed a place to talk about this subject.

I'm 41 now but got married when I was 21. Not only was my husband physically abusive but he was also mentally abusive to me although he probably does not see it that way.

Once I ended up with clumps of my hair laying on the floor from where he pulled me around the room and left bruises. That was the time that I should have left him and didn't. One night he told me he was gonna slit my throat while I was asleep, needless to say I didn't sleep much that night. Then one time he kicked me in the back with his work boots and I couldn't stand straight the next morning. I was too scared to talk to anyone or leave him because he had always told me that if I left with the boys that he will kill me.

Well I met this really great guy online through my business and finally opened up to him about what was going on. He gave me the courage to leave and I started planning how I would eventually get away. It has now been 2 years since I did that and my life is so much different than it used to be. Its funny how my friends and family had told me time and time that I needed to get away but it took a total stranger who was there to listen to me one day to turn things around.

I'm so grateful to have found him and consider him a really great friend now. He lives in Missouri which is about 13 hours from me but one day I want to meet him.

[Howtokeepyourman]

Hi My name is Colleen Clark. I am new to the forum, I hope it is ok to post here. I saw the word relationship and I have something to offer when it comes to this topic.
Today we are seeing marriage casualties everywhere we look. Couples that we never expected are calling it quits. There are many things that we as women can do to ensure that it is never the case for us. Let’s first take a very honest look at our marriage. Remember when your relationship first started with your man? There wasn’t anything that bothered you about him. You hung on every word he said. When you were apart the only thing you could think about was being together. So, has changed over time? Do you feel like your relationship with your man is not what it once was? If you are feeling like you may be loosing him or he just is not as interested as before , there are many things within your power to put back that spark and rekindle that romance. Learn how to keep your man happy and interested . See, women don’t realize they have the power to totally capture back the heart of their man. Over time we develop habits that may cause division in our relationships, and it takes some effort and a little coaching to get us back on the right path to where we once were. Yes! It is possible to have that new love feeling for each other. One of the traps we fall into over time is to nag him. We don’t even realize it, but this just does no good at all. It actually makes him want to run away from us. Do you want to get him to do anything you want without ever having to be a nag again? There are some really fun things that you could try. Another thing to understand about men is the need to be respected. That is what makes them feel loved. So it is up to us to make a decision no matter how we have been programmed (or how we feel), to build our man up and NEVER tear him down. We have to encourage him and have him know that we are his biggest fan. If we are not cheering that man on, there are many lonely hurting women out there willing to. If we do it right our man feels, appreciated, safe , and respected. He will be a man who is totally in love with you, and he will be making YOU the SUN in his solar system. There are so many simple things that you can do to bring back that spark. It is up to you to make that very important decision to do whatever it takes to keep your man. Your marriage does not have to be in trouble, in fact it can be absolutely awesome!
I am here to help if anybody needs me. How To Keep your Man

[kathy'svaultdenimNM]

Nice to see women empowering women on here!

[vacationquest2012]

Mind-blowing ! I really prefer your idea.
Vacation Quest

[JuStev5Pe]

It sounds like a great resource.

[vln2228]

Hello,

I have never encountered abuse, but I have watched my own mother go through the drama of physical and verbal abuse. I decided at the moment when I witnessed this awful abuse to my own mother that it would never happen to me. And it never has. My husband is awesome and I feel the same way I did 12 years ago right now. I love him so much and he loves and supports me in everything I do. He loves our kids and supports out family so I can be SAHM. Kudos to everyone who has to deal with abuse and gets themselves out of the situation