Private folder for spousal abuse ...

[luvtowork]

I am new here, but I love, love this website, thank you!

[luvtowork]

I have been married 4 times and 3 of them was very abusive. I finally got one that is truely good to me now, I asked the councler why I kept choosing men that mistreat me and she said.... Its not that you are choosing them, They are choosing YOU. As a mother figure. All three were raised without a father.... And I didnt even make that connection. FYI, thanks

[luvtowork]

Im not saying that all men raised without a father are bad. My son and daughter was raised without a father figure and I recon they are the sweetest and kindest people I know. Its just that these particular men had abusive fathers.......that is what happened in my case.

[luvtowork]

Hey, I posted some stuff about spouse abuse. My first husband was no alcaholic and wife beater. I was so stupid, I stayed with him for 5 years.

[luvtowork]

I mean that he WAS and Alcoholic and wife beater, please forgive me for that typing error.

[blossom]

I have been with a man on and off for 12 years. I was married to a very abusive man when I was younger. The man that I am with now, is abusive. I always said he wasnt and made excuses for him and his temper because he never actually hit me. Lately it is getting worse and I am getting scared for me and me kids. He has raised his hand to me several times, calls me names and puts me down and yells almost containly. Me and the kids miss him when he is gone and we always get back together. I dont know how to live without him. I swore Id never get in an abusive relationship again and no man would ever hit me again, but this type of abuse was so suttle in the beginning I hardly noticed it, it is getting worse and I know how abuse escalates, ive been there, now I feel stupid to let it go so far, now I have to begining trying to detach myself from him so I can learn to live without him. I need to go to councelling but would like the support from others on here too. thanks.

Sorry so long, got rambling and couldn't stop myself

[luvtowork]

I was an abused wife by my first and second marrage. A counsler told me that some men act that way because their father acted that way, but these two men were raised by their mothers, It dont make sense to me. I have learned to love again and move on.

Its weird how they can change so dramaticly after I got married to them. I never saw it coming.

[saran321]

I will sent you a pm

[mywahmommy3]

to the women here that are going through spousal abuse do you know the impact of spousal abuse on your children?Children exposed to woman abuse see, hear, and are aware of violence
against their mother. They may see, hear, or know about incidents that
range from verbal, emotional, psychological, spiritual, sexual,
financial, and physical abuse. Their environment may cause them to feel
tense, anxious, and fearful.When children see their mother being abused by her partner, they may
learn that: violence is okay; violence is a way to resolve conflict;
violence is an effective way to gain power and control over others; and
violence is a normal part of a relationship. Children may be affected
on many levels: emotionally, physically, socially, psychologically,
financially, and spiritually. Children exposed to woman abuse have an
increased chance of being abused and/or abusive as an adult.


Your Children do not have to see or hear the abuse directly in order to be effected by it.Get out not only for you,but for your children !

[mmwus9830]

Glad this area is here. We have to stick together and support each other as women. We need unlimited areas for women in abusive relationships to find support and help in moving beyond their negative situation. Bravo for this...!



Edited by: mmwus9830