how do I convince hubby to homeschool?

[writermommy4]

For those of you that homeschool was your dh always on board or did you have to convince him? I am absolutly fed up with our children's school and I would really like to homeschool. He thinks that I can't handle it, we have four kids. But the school they are at has me in tears at least once a week. Help?

[AlisonMSmith]

Hi writermommy4. Before I venture to address your questions, I have a few for you.

(1) Why does your husband think you can't handle it? Are you at your limit with what's already on your plate? Does he think you're not disciplined enough? smart enough? Is he generally unsupportive? Something else?

(2) Does he understand what constitutes homeschooling and how it differs from, say, public school? (Do you?)

(3) Why does the school have you "in tears"? Are your KIDS in tears? If so, why? If not, why are you?

Those things would help me get a handle on the situation.

Best,

Alison

[writermommy4]

Ok, I wrote this really long post and it disappeared into cybersace. So here's the short version. My dh thinks I'm not disciplined enough.He homeschooled his step kids from his last marriage over 13 years ago. I have been researching homeschooling courses, resources, and local groups for almost 2 years.
I believe that my kids will get a more well-rounded education with me then to sit in school all day with classes that cater to the lower end of the class. My 5 yr old doesn't get naps b/c the govt. says they aren't necessary in Kindergarden. (teacher said this to me at conference) My oldest is bored out of her mind even in the "gifted" class. My 8yr old is getting lost in the shuffle b/c the teacher thinks "he's just fine on level" even though he gets 100's in almost every subject.
We won't get started on lack of recess, the absentee policy and the fact that I prefer to take my kids to a holistic doctor/chiropractor when they are sick instead of an M.D. Never mind that my 8 yr old had the swine flu for less than a day. Then there are the bullies, the going to school no matter how you feel cuz you don't have a fever and you're not throwing up so you can't be sick. Ok rant over. Hope some of this helps.
Might I add that all of the fourth grade except 30 kids were out sick (along with other grades) and they still did not find it necessary to shut the school down.

[AlisonMSmith]

Originally Posted by writermommy4

Ok, I wrote this really long post and it disappeared into cybersace.

This happens to me almost every time I post. Finally I've gotten into the habit (on this site only) of copying all my responses before I click Submit. Seriously dumb.

I understand your concerns about school and agree with you almost 100%. I'm not a holistic medicine person, but other than that I seriously amazed at what most parents put up with on order to have "free" school and to get their kids "out of their hair" (their words, not mine).

My dh thinks I'm not disciplined enough.

writermommy, I wish all homeschooling issues were this simple. If your husband doesn't think you're disciplined enough (and assuming he's not some raging control freak who is horrid and nasty), then he probably has a reason for it. So, if you want to get him "on board" you simply need to change your habits, become disciplined, and show him the "new you." Especially considering the fact that he's actually homeschooled before himself, he just needs to see that your kids won't be floundering around.

So, take some time to develop good personal habits and self-discipline. When he sees that, his fears will be resolved.

Good luck,

Alison

[writermommy4]

Thanks, for the advice. My 8 yr old came home today in tears asking me "Why can't we just read for fun?"

[beanandpumpkin]

I think that Alison gave some great advice. Also, what if you came up with a tentative plan for homeschooling? The curriculum you'd use, the topics you'd cover, how you'd manage your time? Are you wanting to pull them out at the end of this semester, or do you want to wait until the school year ends? If it's the latter, homeschool them over the summer, and show your DH that you can do it!

I'm sorry you're in this situation. My DH was on board with homeschooling since the kids were babies... it's something we knew we wanted to do from almost day one.

Good luck!

[barefoot]

Now, I will say my husband was on board, but I am nowhere near organized with our girls schooling and they always test at their educational levels.

You probably won't have the same style of homeschooling as your husband's children had. I would just try to talk to your husband to find out why, but if it were me, I'd ask my hubby to be nice when he says things and that you're not looking to find out all the negative things he sees in you. I tend to take things pretty hard when coming from my hubby, even when he means well.

But, like someone else said, if you show him a plan and show him the curriculums you've researched and show him a local support group you've found, maybe that will help.

Also, you could see if he'd be open to letting you "try" it out for a semester to see how it works and then evaluate how YOU like it, how the children like it and how well everyone seems to be doing with it.

I'm SO sorry for the horrible stuff at school. While I always did well in public school, I have horrible memories of constantly being picked on for being short, bullied by boys and HATING the lunches. That and being too scared to go to the bathroom between classes because I knew I'd never make it to class on time.

[hbixler03]

I would certainly pray over it. Also I would ask him to just trust you. Maybe he will let you do a test run? I know my husband was hesitant at first because of how much work it would be. But now he is fine with it. Maybe he just needs to see you manage it all successfully. Maybe just ask him to take it one year at a time.

Good luck! {[hugs}}

[Kath331]

It is hard to deal with a school that is not good and homeschooling is a good option. You should make a list of the advantages and disadvantages and show that to him. That way each point can be discussed and from there you can work together on a plan and curriculum.

[Psychic Sylvia]

There have been so much good advice about the homeschooling process. I can tell you that if you have any type of emotional problems (depression, anxiety, etc.), homeschooling full time is probably not the best route. Does your school district offer you the option of homeschooling where they take their tests every Friday at the school? This will at least keep you motivated and on task. Also many school districts offer an online program for students as well. Your husband is basing his opinion on your behavior in the past and doesn't want you to overwhelm yourself.