WAHM Forums

...has this forum turned into a place where a large portion of the posters want someone else to do their research for them all people do is snipe at each other?

I haven't been a member here long, but when I first found this forum I thought it was a great place full of helpful information and ideas and people willing to share both good and bad experiences as well as job leads. Now, a lot of what is posted here runs along the lines of Help me!!, I'm desperate!, you were rude, I'm fed up and just had to vent, and one that made me laugh for a few minutes today, Someone must have taken a big piss in your Wheaties today. No wonder someone mentioned they don't post here often because they are afraid of being bombarded with negative feedback. I personally stop in here every day to not only catch up on the job leads, but also (yep, I admit it and I'm sure many of you can too) to keep up on the "who's yelling at so and so" and "now who was so and so rude to?". Sad.

I too get fed up with those who can't seem to read instructions, don't read what they have written to check for spelling or grammar, or come across as being too lazy or unwilling to do a little research themselves before demanding, "Help me!". Notice I said "come across as" not "are". It seems that not many people take the time to go through the folders at the top of the forum. Maybe the text for the "New Members - Before Asking Questions Please Read" thread should be doubled in size, changed to red, and underlined. Will that work? Probably not. What will? Good question.

I know people are desperate for jobs, need help, and frustrated. We've all been there or we wouldn't be part of this forum. When we are frustrated and desperate many of us have short tempers and we start lashing out or venting. This doesn't help anyone. I'm sure the powers that be on this forum would love ideas and suggestions to help keep postings here positive. I'll start it off:

For all the "Help me!" postings, I suggest a standard reply post that lives on the forum and can be copied and pasted by the first person to reply. Something like: Have you looked through this, this, and this? If so, what do you specifically have questions about? Help me is too broad. Please repost with your specific questions and those of us who can will be happy to help you. No one else reply.

Harsh? Maybe, but it's my suggestion. What are yours?

I have no suggestions. I just don't get personally involved in all the "drama". I came here for help in finding work from home. I actually lurked and read for almost a year before even joining / registering.

But that's just how I am. My first post was actually an appreciation post for all the info I had discovered, posted by others, about home jobs and telecommuting. This is a wonderful site!

The newbies. Well, it may very well be that some of these people are just wanting current opinions, or just like to feel like they are talking to someone about it, rather than just "reading" about it. maybe they need the socialization. That could be why there are still questions posted, despite the "start here" stickies at the top. Could this be possible? Maybe some people need the interaction when embarking on this new adventure. Something to think about -

Anyway, yes there is bickering and such. It's very silly, IMO. I just ignore it. I guess I couldn't easily do that if I felt I was being mistreated, which I haven't felt so far - everyone has been great. I see nothing wrong with telling someone to please read the stickies at the top. Another thing, not everyone is message board-literate or familiar with the formats. Although I think they should be if they're looking for a telecommute job. (or, maybe not, depends on the job, I guess)

It doesn't bother me in the least if someone asks a question that was previously answered or has an answer in one of the top sticky posts. And if I can help or offer insight, I'll be one of the first to post back.

Those are my thoughts on it -

As I told someone else, I am here to find work from home, and, as of now, learn about the jobs I'm doing and meet others doing those jobs, get tips, etc. I'm not here to form groups, cliques, or whatever. That's kid stuff. I'm here to learn and grow in my skills. And, hey, if I make a few friends in the process, that's a bonus.

Blessings,
Rushell

Well, for newbies, this is overwhelming, I personally think people should have more consideration and point the newbies in the right direction instead of getting a nasty attitude like I have seen here for years! I hardly post anymore due to all the bad attitudes. NOTHING good comes out of being a nasty person. Instead of being nasty, people should say Try reading the newbie folder,good luck and check here daily. What is soooo hard with being NICE? People arent nice anymore and i bet you someone will come here and say something nasty to me.. just the way this board works :(

I am not trying to be snarky but just a few weeks ago someone posted that the felt the board was dying due to lack of job lead posts etc? At least its not dead lol. I love this board. We are human everyone has their own opinion about everything and their own personality. There is no getting around the fact that disputes will come hey I have had my share of them. Yet I can honestly say when any of those people need my assistance I will be the first one to assist and it has truly been the same vice versa. It is sort of like an online family. We try to look out for each other and I am thankful for this board and the people who keep it "alive" everyday.

I am not trying to be snarky but just a few weeks ago someone posted that the felt the board was dying due to lack of job lead posts etc? At least its not dead lol. I love this board. We are human everyone has their own opinion about everything and their own personality. There is no getting around the fact that disputes will come hey I have had my share of them. Yet I can honestly say when any of those people need my assistance I will be the first one to assist and it has truly been the same vice versa. It is sort of like an online family. We try to look out for each other and I am thankful for this board and the people who keep it "alive" everyday.

I second this post.:D As long as this thread remains a discussion it is fine, but if I have to start babysitting it then I will be passing out wonderful infractions to those who start bashing other members. as the above poster stated we are like family here and everyone is entitled to their own opinion. However, lately there has been bashing against members that has been taking place and I am not very fond of that. If you are going to post your opinion that is fine and if someone does not like it and posts their opinion that is fine as well, but let's keep this civil.

The Wheaties comment is mine. It was in response to a member who attacked someone for asking if something in a job ad would be considered discrimination or not.

I agree there are some who want to be spoonfed and are unwilling to do their own research. It's like that on every forum and will probably never change. It's frustrating but there isn't much we can do about it. Fortunately there are a great many more who do their own research, share job leads, etc.

I've started just posting the links to the WAH job list and Newbies Start Here posts in reply to the "Help me! I need a job" type posts.

Well, for newbies, this is overwhelming

I agree. This forum is huge and there are tons of posts. A brand new member may not realize what's here and what questions have been asked before. They may feel a bit lost and overwhelmed like Butterflies said.

I just tell new people that there are lots of positions posted here and that they should really search through this section of the forum. The new people coming in may have lost a traditional type job and they are brand new to work at home and the opportunities that are out there. They also may not be real computer savvy.

Those of us who are making money at home are very very lucky and personally I don't think it hurts to take a minute, give someone a nice helpful response, and point them in the right direction. :)

That's my opinion anyways.

immonicam, I hope you don't take offense to this but I just can't help but point out that as I read your post it's coming across to me as negative and certainly seems like you're venting. All I can say is Welcome to the forum! {hugs} LOL!

Your suggestions are wonderful. As you're here longer and read back through years of posting you'll find this "Something like: Have you looked through this, this, and this? If so, what do you specifically have questions about? " quite a lot. In fact that's how the stickies at the top of the page got started -- people pulling their hair out, saying, "How many times do we have to say this? Can't we just make a sticky and the top of the page and suggest they go read it before they start asking any further questions?"

Venting and yes, even bickering is part of the deal. I'm not saying it's a "good" part of the deal. I don't condone the bickering. But certainly a person's gotta vent every now and then. And if you can't vent here, where else? Who else would possibly understand our particular vents? Certainly not our friends, family or neighbors who work onsite somewhere. Spelling? Well, that's more a personal problem. I think a lot of times it has to do with sheer exhaustion. Sometimes I'll point out to someone that this is public board and on any public board anyone can see it -- even prospective employers. So we might want to make sure we look our best. But this is to help, not to hurt.

So anyway, that's my two cents. Oh and a half a cent more -- don't let it bother you so much. My guess is you're too busy a person and have too much to do in a day to let something like this affect you. :)

I also wanted to add that I just read this in another thread:

Im glad no one wrote something nasty to me lol.. Everytime I read these post there is usually one person who is negative and thats why I usually dont write on here but I needed help.

:(

People shouldn't be scared to post here and ask for help.

"I don't condone the bickering. But certainly a person's gotta vent every now and then. And if you can't vent here, where else? "

Well said - and I do agree that this board is like a family. I am new to the family I think, but still I understand :)

Rushell

I agree. The posts from people asking for help can be overwhelming. I don't mind if people ask for help, but I would like them to realize something.

Almost a year ago, I don't know who all was here at the time, but some of us tried to help new people by telling them which companies we worked for, etc. When they asked for detailed information, we told them we couldn't give it because we had signed non-disclosure agreements. That's when the mud-slinging started and we were called selfish, etc.

I don't know about anyone else here, but I'm not about to jeopardize the best job I've ever had by talking about it on a public message board!

So, everyone, please respect the fact that those of us who are bound by contracts can only give you so much. We'll tell you what we can, and that's it.

Blinky :-)

Those of us who are making money at home are very very lucky and personally I don't think it hurts to take a minute, give someone a nice helpful response, and point them in the right direction.

I agree! To quote Zig Ziglar, "You can have everything in life that you want if you will just help enough other people get what they want."

There's nothing wrong with helping other people. Everyone of us that came to this forum started with zero posts. I'm pretty sure the majority of the members here, myself included, had to ask for directions a time or two.

And I thank each and every member that has taken the time to help me.

Jeff

I try to help everyone I can but I definitely do more by pm now than on the boards because it's easier than getting bashed. And yes, I do refer newbies to the WAH list and the companies that hire IC's all the time.

I agree this forum is like a family and I really enjoy being a part of it. :)

I love it here at the forum, I am so glad I found it. I do get bashed all the time for helping the newer people.

I was helped by some really nice people, Sadie1lady1 person to be specific and she really helped me find my way, and I just really feel it is best to be helpful whenever you possible.

And just to add this, we only have our words to "describe" our feelings, so sometimes things we "say" do come across as negative and just plain rude. As Stephanie would say from "Full House" ....How Rude

I mean one time, I was hot to trot mad for like 2 hours, I actually had to leave the computer, take a shower, took the baby for a walk, and was still mad over what someone retaliated with after a post. I mean, how silly could I have been. After the morning was over I finally calmed down.

I just think everyone should help everyone, and I do agree with the posting the WAH leads, that is a great idea BerryWriter.

Hi Everyone,

I usually won't post anything when I see this kind of posting but it's killing I got to say this. I have been coming on here for years. I love this board. But what I don't get, people say it gets frustrating to see people asking the same ole questions. Why not just not answer and let someone who isn't irritated or frustrated answer them? Doesn't that make a little bit more sense than being hateful? I know I have told many people looking for wah jobs that this is a great place to start. I do tell them to look at all the posts, get started here and so forth. But sometimes people want other people's opinions. I haven't had anybody get at me like that, because I don't really ask questions unless it's something to do with a particular company.

I think more and more people are forgetting, LOVE THY NEIGHBOR. We just got hit with a flood and all we have are our neighbors. We are all pulling together to help each other in this crisis. Come on you guys, think about how you would feel if someone was hateful just cause you were asking a simple question and didn't know much about working from home.

You want an actual person's view not reading what is general. Anyway, off I go. Just wanted to say thank you for all the helpful people here and for all those that are getting irritated and frustrated, Just try remember what it was like when you first starting working from home and how overwhelming all the info can be all at once. There's so many cons out there.

Love to all. Have a great night.
Lisa:D

Oh and I wasn't even asking for job information, I was just trying to help someone. And still got bashed. If you want to know what I'm talking about you can PM me and I'll tell you where it is. :D

I agree. The posts from people asking for help can be overwhelming. I don't mind if people ask for help, but I would like them to realize something.

Almost a year ago, I don't know who all was here at the time, but some of us tried to help new people by telling them which companies we worked for, etc. When they asked for detailed information, we told them we couldn't give it because we had signed non-disclosure agreements. That's when the mud-slinging started and we were called selfish, etc.

I don't know about anyone else here, but I'm not about to jeopardize the best job I've ever had by talking about it on a public message board!

So, everyone, please respect the fact that those of us who are bound by contracts can only give you so much. We'll tell you what we can, and that's it.

Blinky :-)

I totally agree here and this is why I am careful as to what I say, as I am for sure NOT trying to be selfish or rude or not share any information, but when you have signed agreements with the companies that you are currently working for and/or doing business with, you do NOT want to risk the WAH jobs that you do have by providing too much information on a WAH public forum.

So, if you feel that I am coming off that way, then I'm sorry, but I have to protect myself, the companies, along with my image and their image as well. I hope that everyone will be more tolerant and understanding of this matter and understand that is why some of us respond the way that we do. :):D

well i wanted to say i do ask for help but this is maybe the 3rd time i posted on here because i see all the negative attitude on here. I read thoroughly before i ask for help but if i have offended anyone for asking for help i am really sorry. Like I said I do my own research and the only time ive asked was when the post did not have enough info on there. But I don know, I feel like maybe I wont ask anymore questions on here. Sorry I had to kind of let ya know, when i saw this post, a little hurt because I was asking for help.

I am all for helping other people and I do not mind and I will help someone in any way that I possibly can at any given time, but please understand that I may not be able to reveal much, due to the contracts that I may have signed with the various clients and/or companies that I may be working for. :D

well i wanted to say i do ask for help but this is maybe the 3rd time i posted on here because i see all the negative attitude on here. I read thoroughly before i ask for help but if i have offended anyone for asking for help i am really sorry. Like I said I do my own research and the only time ive asked was when the post did not have enough info on there. But I don know, I feel like maybe I wont ask anymore questions on here. Sorry I had to kind of let ya know, when i saw this post, a little hurt because I was asking for help.

Hi, Kimmiepooh!

No need to apologize! You are right to ask questions, as everyone isl I'm of the opinion that if certain people don't want to answer questions, they should just move on. Really, there are only a few people who cause drama. When they are away from the boards, everything is fine. And you know the old saying, "miserable person must find more miserable person, then is fine." (It works better if you use a Boris Badenov accent haha).

Please stay, and don't let the negative people bother you. Unfortunately, they will be anywhere you go.

Best Wishes,

Blinky :-)

I don't think the issue is unwillingness to help people. I think the OP might be referring to the people who come on here and post things like, "I badly need a job. My qualifications are XYZ. Please PM me or post a list of places that are hiring." Well, I'm sorry but this is not an employment agency. We all need jobs, that's why we're here.

I have absolutely no problem with pointing people in a general direction as to job fields that might be a good fit for them or where to look on this board for information but I am NOT going to do the actual job search for them. I have enough to do researching and applying for my own jobs.

This is a great resource but people can't expect to just put up that one post and then have the jobs come rolling in to them. Looking for a job IS a job. It seems like more and more people are either not understanding this concept or just expect other people to do their work for them.

thanks blinky, i feel a little bit better about asking questions. I never ask questions unless it doest have enough info like maybe they left a email address or web link. I try not to ask people too many questions because i do see the negative comments on the forum. I dont want to get bashed for a question i may have not know and asked. But thanks for all the help on here.

Well Kimmiepooh, welcome to the forum and yes, please don't be afraid to ask questions.

If you're worried about getting bashed on one of the boards then PM one of us and ask privately. Many of us will be more than happy to help you. You can always find someone to help you on any given subject. :)

Guess I'm going to be a bit of a bad guy, but I will say this....no people should not be afraid to ask questions, BUT people should exhibit common sense and the ability to follow instructions, which is commonly needed for WAH jobs I believe? I am referring to the stickies along the line of "READ THIS FIRST" etc. that explain the board, procedures, answer a lot of questions, and provide a lot of great information.

Personally, I like to help out whenever possible, but when I am busy I do try to check into the board for new job leads, this is made more difficult when I'm skimming through a bunch of posts by people who are not willing to look for those posts, and want to have the information handed to them. It becomes even more irritating when the posts start to get ALL CAPS and.......lots of dots and !!! exclamation marks and distressing calls for "urgent" "need urgent help" "DESPERATE!!" and so on.

Now I've noticed that people have been trying to add explanations to their questions since people have started speaking up....here's my opinion (just my opinion):

I've looked here and can't find anything!.....BS! If you look on WAHM you will find, if you actually look at the board and find nothing, I doubt there is anything for you...period.

I've looked for jobs here and all I find are scams.......again BS, if you look here you and find only scams, you must be searching for the word SCAM and finding the warnings that all the wonderful community members have provided, WAHM has a huge resource of LEGIT opportunities.

There are more but I feel myself getting onto a soapbox....either way I think 99% of the members here are looking for work, I think 98% of those members are willing to and have been putting in the effort and searching, following instructions, and taking responsibility for their search, it's the 2% that think that they shouldn't have to search through the information and should be handed the position that aggravate me. If you can't find your way through the WAHM forum to find jobs, you may not have the patience and dedication required for most WAH jobs.

In closing, I would like to extend a thank you to all the wonderful members that are always willing and able to provide answers to questions, guidance, and support. I am happy to be a part of this group of people, and hope that my grumpy side won't rear on anymore newbies :D

CKizziar (http://www.wahm.com/forum/members/98701-ckizziar) , I like your post, I like it alot! When I first started looking for a wah at home job 6 years ago I was actually working at an outside job when I found this site. Wow, how many changes this site has been thru...format wise and owner wise. I enjoyed reading the posts here and the main page about realizing scams and what not. I even sent an email to the original owner asking her about a certain job I had found and she immediately let me know it was a scam. I was so appreciative! Carefully reading and searching is a skill within itself. And like CKizziar said, if you're not willing to do that first then working from home is not for you. Cause being dedicated to following directions with little or no supervision is a BIG part of being hired and keeping a wah job. Yes, we don't mind helping but first do your research, visit other work at home sites, google too then come here and ask for help after all your resources have been exhausted, we will be here for you. I'm thankful for forums like this because it has really helped me get to know alot of people from all over the United States and abroad. I love my wah family! :D

A suggestion for the Mod(s):
Splitting this folder into two: “Telecommuting Help/Questions” and one called “Telecommuting leads” or something like that.

This is a message board. Snarkiness and disagreements happen on ALL of them. Granted, I'm new here, but the issues that seem to be had here are very minor compared to many I've seen. It's unfortunate to see people who have been so helpful get bashed for it, but it's the nature of this form of communication. That said, I'm very grateful to this forum and it's members for the leads and information they've provided me.

Just my 2 cents as a newbie....I am an admin of a non-related forum (political stuff and nonsense), and I can't stand Stickies because some forums are so heavily stickied that they take up half of the first page. I've gotten so that I don't even "see" them anymore :D I did read a few here, but I haven't read all of them. I've been around forums long enough to know that etiquette says you hang back awhile and try to read and get a feel for the place. People that are new to forums and maybe feeling "desperate" might not understand forum etiquette. It's cool to point them in the right direction or simply refer them to this thread ;)

I am thrilled to have found this place. Thanks for all of the good information.

wow..........for real??? simple solution to a simple problem...IF you enjoy helping people...help them....IF NOT.....dont..........

woah...that was really heart felt there... :o

wow..........for real??? simple solution to a simple problem...IF you enjoy helping people...help them....IF NOT.....dont..........

I like Southernbred's solution. :) Either help or don't help. No reason to be mean.

I wasn't trying to be mean, see the smiley face...that was just how I red (I know it isn't the right word) it. :)

and I just have to say that this site is overwhelming. There is a plethora of information, just as there is for hunting for a job in the physical realm. I am very disappointed at the responses that many people leave to the posts that say I need help. Many put the statement not to be rude or unfriendly, however it is a bit rude and unfriendly. I do not believe that anyone is looking for a handout, just direction. The current state of employment everywhere is difficult at best. I do realize that people have worked very hard at getting into their positions and much credit is do. No one who is new is trying to take away from that. I believe that it is necessary to band together and help each other out with direction as it is important in a few ways. The most beneficial for everyone is pointing all WAHMS to quality positions where legitimate income is made, is important to get all people away from companies who take advantage. It hurts my heart to think that if someone really does need help that another person would not jump up to offer assistance. If such person is looking for a handout they most likely will not get the job. I will not ask for help on this site again. We are all struggling and to have someone reply negatively or even curtly hurts when you are vulnerable enough to admit you need help.
To those of you who jump up to help thank you !!! :(

I never found this site the least bit overwhelming when I first joined. It's actually very well organized.

No one has a problem with people asking for help. It's the people who post demanding help finding a job NOW! because they are DESPERATE! or who proclaim all the job leads were scams or otherwise make it blindingly obvious that they couldn't be bothered to read any of the posts in the folder or do a search. No one has a problem with people asking for info on a company or whether an ad they came across is a scam or things like that. It's the people that want us to do their job searching for them that irritate and annoy.

To me personally its the same as walking into a grocery store and yelling "Help me! I need food! Please help me find some!" and then standing there expecting people go up and down the aisles grabbing items for you when you could easily grab a cart and do it yourself as everything is right there in front of you.

Posting in this forum that you can't find any job leads is like standing knee deep in a river and dying of thirst. :)

No one minds helping, but most people do mind it when people want things handed to them on a platter. Looking for any kind of work is a full time job in itself and you've got to be willing to do that work to succeed.

That's my 2 cents. I'm sure some will feel the need to flame me. My post is not directed toward any individual and is just my opinion.

This is actually not a flame but a compliment BerryWriter. You are extremely expressive with your post and while I understand both sides of the argument I can see where you are coming from. The illustrations that you used have a lot of merit. That being said I am more than willing to help any newbie and will gladly say that they are welcome to pm me if they need assistance with anything work at home related. Even though I have lately found myself requesting that they read those stickies first so that the information I am giving them is not repeated. I can recall when I first started working from home. I had already joined this forum and had no idea how to use it. I actually found my first job on Careerbuilder. A WAHM at my first telecommute job explained the site to me and the rest is history. I considered myself computer literate yet I did not understand the whole concept of an online forum because I had no experience with it. I try to keep that in mind when responding to help me posts.

people too lazy to read what's right there in the first post and ask the same question over and over on different threads or come here and say they want a list of who is hiring can't keep doing it if no one answers them. don't point out the answers and don't reply to the the threads posters who don't want to look.

people want to help as much as they can but too many people are taking advantage or beating up people when they do.

I read this board everyday, several times a day, but rarely post. But I have to say, I agree with Notary Mom. I know from experience that this forum can be confusing to people that have no experience with an online forum. When I directed people that I know to this and other forums, they each got back in touch with me because they were uncertain what to do, where to go, what to look at. I also agree with those that said if you don't want to help, don't help. It's a personal choice that everyone makes to post a reply. If you have no desire to help, then don't post. I also think if someone is typing a reply and they begin it with the words, "not to be rude" or "not to sound mean" or anything along those lines, then maybe they should rethink their post. Because if they already know they may come across as rude or mean, perhaps whatever they have to say would be better left unsaid.

Just my thoughts. :)

What BerryWriter said is 100% spot-on. There is a huge difference between saying, "Hey, you sound like you might be good at writing. There is a folder titled WAHM's That Write. You should check that out. Good luck!" and actually going into the folder yourself, doing all the research and finding job leads, and then putting that information into the original post.

Why can't some people see the difference in that?

The first response is not "mean" or "rude" at all. It's very helpful.

Maybe someone can explain to me what's wrong with the first response.

What BerryWriter said is 100% spot-on. There is a huge difference between saying, "Hey, you sound like you might be good at writing. There is a folder titled WAHM's That Write. You should check that out. Good luck!" and actually going into the folder yourself, doing all the research and finding job leads, and then putting that information into the original post.

Why can't some people see the difference in that?

The first response is not "mean" or "rude" at all. It's very helpful.

Maybe someone can explain to me what's wrong with the first response.

There's nothing wrong with the first response. Unfortunately, not everyone responds like that, with manners and kindness. :)

I know from experience that this forum can be confusing to people that have no experience with an online forum.

I totally agree. If you are newer to forums, you may not know how to move around them well, what posts have been previously made, how to search, etc. And I honestly have seen very very few posts demanding a job. It sounds like some new people coming in here really are desperate and asking for help. It's been a super tough economy on so many people and it's driving a lot of people out of the traditional job market and into looking for online/work at home opportunities.

I know the moderators here at WAHM want to keep the forum a friendly, helpful place. I've seen them step in a number of times saying so. And I've also seen the moderators say that they move posts from other sections of the forum into this one. Again, probably new forum users who are not sure where to post and start looking.

Another thing one might keep in mind is that often employers or companies frequent the message boards as well. It could "potentially" prevent them or make them less like to provide a legitimate lead because of the lack of independence in those wishing to be an independent contractor or working in a minimally supervised environment.

Possibly, but I think seeing people being mean/short with others would be an even bigger turn off to potential employers.

If I'm looking to fill a customer service position for instance, and I see posts where someone asks for help with sarcastic or mean responses, I may think wow, this is not the place to post my job opening.

Another forum has a similar discussion going on. One person there said something that I thought was a good way of looking at things. (Quoted with their permission, of course.)

"I sometimes become disgruntled when I see people posting for jobs in the wrong way.

I simply don't respond if I feel I may say something unkind. There's kind ways to say everything, and often no need to say things rudely, even if you feel irritated.

It's when I feel motivated and have the time, I post what I can to help out. Paying it forward."

:) (pay it forward, gotta love that movie)

You know, we were all newbies at one point. But we must have gotten our information somewhere or we would no longer be on this forum. If you're going to survive the WAHM world you're going to have to be a little bit self-reliant. On another forum I frequent the generic "I need help!" posts are met with a friendly "Great, we'd love to help. Look here and here for information or do a search for this specific term." I think that's exactly what should be done in that situation.

This board is a wealth of information. When I realized I wanted to stay at home, I spent months on this board (this folder in particular) researching, searching and going back 30 or more pages of posts looking for leads and ideas. That's how it's done. I found what I needed and have been a WAHM for over 3 years now.

I often wonder when I read the "I need help" posts if the person honestly expects to be handed a list of companies to apply to or if they really just need to be pointed in the right direction. We have stickies for a reason. There's no reason why we can't point them in the right direction politely without making them feel like an idiot for coming here in the first place.

I am a newbie & I find the forums very easy to navigate & have gotten nothing but kind responses. I never expected anyone to hand me a list of 50 WAHM companies that are hiring & I find it ridiculous that anyone else would. We're all adults & if we're going to be successful in being a WAHM, then we need to be proactive, do the research & work & try to help ourselves. I can see how others who see these "I'm desperate, help me!!" posts over & over again could get frustrated. There are stickies everywhere telling you where to go to find what you need. Surely, if you're too lazy to search through the posts/forum, you won't last long at being a WAHM.

Of course not all newbies will be confused by the forums. But I, personally, know several who were confused. They were overwhelmed, which is not that difficult to imagine. I applaud those that take matters into their own hands and find the threads, posts, leads, etc. on their own. But I also applaud those that take the time to give a little direction. Not everyone is too lazy or looking for handouts. Some people just need a little nudge in the right direction. That doesn't make them ignorant or unmotivated or incompetent. It just means they need help.

Everyone needs help at some point in their life. I believe in karma. You get back from life what you put into life. If I can help someone here or another board or anywhere, then I will. Because I might need help someday, too, whether it be in this forum or in some other aspect of my life. I don't want bad karma to kick me in the a$$ because I didn't take the time to help someone else. What goes around DOES come back around. :)

I think what people post most definitely has an affect on potential employers or potential positions. I had the opportunity to post a position for someone and I'm also a hiring manager for another company. And because I'm a part of this forum it very much helps me and gives me insight on potential workers.

What goes around DOES come back around. :)

Oh, that is so true and I've actually seen it happen firsthand. I also feel that the good I've been putting out there by way of helping others, here on the boards, has been and is coming back to me tenfold and I've made some awesome friends along the way too. :)

Agreed. I've had others help me and I in turn have done my best to help others.

"What goes around DOES come back around."

Hi kgee,

If a mod moved/deleted your post that means it was in violation of the rules. If you decide to post it again make sure you post it in the area your previous post was moved to. If your previous post on the subject was deleted you probably should contact the mods before posting it again.

Good luck!

In response to the comparison to the grocery store analogy, I have to say that is an assumption of ones character. If a person is on here they are actively searching. I was one of those people that said that I needed help desperately. I was in a horrid situation and upon first look this site appealed to me because it was women lifting women up (and the occasional man). Personally it was overwhelming because I did not have a dime to my name and was truly at the end of my rope, financially and mentally. (And still am the power might get cut off as I am typing :0)) It had nothing to do with laziness. I just wanted direction. All though the folders are helpful some are no longer active, some are no longer hiring etc. I understand people who don't comment do to confidentiality. So lets imagine this being a grocery store... picture how many items are in a grocery store. Now let's just say that you have a rare ingredient that you have never purchased before. You have looked and just can't see it. Is it lazy to ask an employee to help you locate that particular item? I am always surprised at human nature to assume that one is lazy, ignorant, or dumb when they ask for help. Asking for help is such a humbling experience. Not even two years ago I responsible for every detail of planning a job fair for over 5000 people. I did not get paid to do it. I volunteered and had very little help. Many students asked for further help afterwards and I cannot imagine not doing what I could. It just did not cross my mind that they were lazy.... I guess because this was an on line situation I hoped that we could assume the best of a person or just not say anything.

oh and just to add to what I had said about my situation... I did not just hop on here and ask for help... I applied to leapforce passed the first test and did not pass the second. I looked at many other sites and applied to many other jobs. :o

Let's try to explain this one more time. If you go into a grocery store and ask for help looking for a rare ingredient and an employee directs you to the correct aisle that is NOT the same thing as standing in the front door and yelling, "Help! I need food! I'm desperate!" and then expecting people in the store to stop their own shopping, get your food for you, and bring up to you in the cart. There IS a difference.

Nothing said in this thread pertains to the first scenario, only the second.

woah...that was really heart felt there... :o


i forgot to put a smie :) lol

LOL! true, true, you got me. :) southernbred.

I was glad to see this thread:

http://www.wahm.com/forum/telecommuting-moms-34/505988-too-much-hostility-warning.html

Like I said earlier:

If I'm looking to fill a customer service position for instance, and I see posts where someone asks for help with sarcastic or mean responses, I may think wow, this is not the place to post my job opening.

Customer service positions are generally looking for positive, upbeat employees who will do anything and everything to help. A positive atmosphere here will look much better to prospective employers.

I think the bottom line here is that we are all more than willing to help those who are willing to help themselves as well, and most of those who post here have shown they are willing to do just that.

i dont think anyone is referring to people who are new to working at home and need help figuring the site out. that is different. we were all new at some point and needed a map to learn our way around.

being new and needing help finding the way around is not the same thing as someone posting and saying they are looking for a job that pays this much and they dont want to do this or that and to list all the jobs that fit what they are looking for. thats sitting back and letting other people do all the hard work for you. if any employer sees someone who wont even do the work to find a job i wouldnt be surpirsed if they see that and think that person might sit back on the job and let other people do the hard work. there was a post a long time ago and i don't remember where, where a member said she didnt want to look for job leads because it took too much time and posted what kind of job she wanted. she told the members to list jobs that fit what she wanted and she would check back in a few days. people did it. she replied and told them she wanted pay and other stuff put in the posts too.

its ok to be helpful but the ones who are saying some people are taking advantage of the helpfulness arent being mean just by pointing that out. to keep everyone happy the ones who think some people just dont want to do the research can just not answer those posts and the ones who think its ok to do the research for other people can answer them.