WAHM Forums

Hello,

I have been in childcare for many years now. I have had great kids and kids who are more of a challenge. I now have four children that I keep, plus my own little boy, and the group has been great.

Well, I have a brother and sister who have been coming to me part time for two years now. The mom is a teacher, so she has off summers of course.

The little girl is wonderful, strong willed, but very good for the most part. The little boy (3 1/2) has always been good too. He is more quiet and always been the more sensitive one, but a good boy overall.

When they first came to me all they wanted to do was watch TV. Well, I allow some TV, but not all day long. It took some adjusting (especially with the little boy), but I got them into a great routine. They were playing great, getting along with the other kids, etc.... very happy.

At the end of the school year, last spring, the kids left for summer break with their mom. They were great!The problem is that ever since they have come back in August, the little boy has been having big emotional problems that very much concern me.The little girl is completely fine.

The little boy breaks down and cries constantly. He doesn't know why most of the time and cannot get control of his crying. I allow him to just sit with his blanket until he calms down. They come two days a week and this has happened multiple times every day I have had him. The mornings into early afternoon are particularly difficult. After lunch and nap, he seems to be much better.

Today was no exception. He has cried all morning off and on. He will cry because a toy touches him or if someone looks at him. He will break down if one of the children ask him to play. He will go to play, but then just break down in hysterics saying he doesn't know what to do.

Nobody is hitting him or being mean to him in any way here. As a matter of fact, the children leave him alone now because he is always breaking down. He does not want any social interaction with the children and wants to watch TV ALL the time. I try to talk with him and he can't focus enough to look at me (he looks everywhere else but me).

Today he says he is just going to sit and wait for his mom. So, he has sat with his blanket all day doing nothing (aside from crying). Sometimes he looks like he is just about to pass out, but I am sure he is exhausted from all the crying.

I am at my wit's end and don't know what to do. I have had this little boy since he was two and now he is about to be four. Yes, he has been sensitive, but NEVER to this degree. I am genuinely concerned about him and have expressed this to his mom. I think she needs to go to the doctor, explain what is happening, and maybe they could help them.

I emailed her today and called her at work because I am so worried about this little guy. She claims he is just going through a phase and this is just who he is. But, it is not who he is and I pointed out how different he was at the end of the school year as compared to now. She still insists it is just a phase. She suggests for me just to allow him to be by himself all day and even ignore him if needed.

Well, I can't do that. I am concerned. What do any of you think about this little guy? Any suggestions or thoughts??? Oh, and mom has told me that this happens everywhere, not just at my house, so it is a consistent problem.

Thanks in advance for any advice, and sorry for the book I wrote. Everyone have a great day! : )))

I ended up developing a "Behavior Concerns Policy" to set a protocol for these types of concerns to deal with children that were aggressive, excessive criers, disrespectful and basically any behavior that presented major concern.

A year ago I cared for a small child (2) that become excessively
aggressive out of no where. He was with me for several months and was
very pleasant and then all of a sudden , he become a holy
terror. It was a very difficult situation to deal with and caused me a
lot of stress. The mom denied anything was going on at home, ultimately decided not to work with me towards
a solution, and labeled it as a "phase". I let him go. I am unwilling to work with a parent that puts on blinders. Obviously if I am concerned enough to bring it to a parents attention they should be concerned as well and not just pass it off as a "phase", especially when it is a "phase" that puts other children and myself at risk. (This kid was vicious for a lil guy)



I also at one time had to deal with an infant under 1 year old that was an excessive cryer. The mom and dad in this situation were very receptive and open to my policy and we continued working together for awhile until it was decided that maybe a different environment would suit him better. He had issues with being in large groups with a lot of noise/commotion and my busy group daycare home with mixed ages was not a good fit.

Feel free to look it over, hope it helps.

Behavior Concerns Policy (http://www.growingwithgiggles.com/files/Bahavior_Concern_Policy.pdf)

Edited by: TiffanyM

It sounds like maybe coming back from a break home with Mommy over the summer could have set him over an emotional edge? Separation anxiety?

Joyonearth, I wanted to let you know that I praying for your situation. I don't have any great advice, but I hope that you are able to work out something with the parents to help him because obviously the great concern here is for his well being.

I don't have any great advice for you, too because I think you're doing everything you can. And you've already brought up your concern with his mother. She should handle it really but when things turn for the worse, I think you should really insist that she do something about the situation.

Have you tried talking to a therapist about this situation? They might be able to clarify the situation for you, if it's possible.

Good luck!

Leanna