WAHM Forums

I myself have a 19 year old daughter that doesn't want to listen to any money advice I have to give. How do you teach your teenager to stick to a budget?

Now, remember, she is listening!! She just wants to make "grown up" decisions without her parents telling her....so if you suggest something, she may not do it for that reason....

My daughter (19) learns best by trial and error.....

*told her to watch her check book, she didn't, bounced a check - lesson learned - now she will use the internet and balance twice a week and keeps a $20 buffer in it.

*told her to make it to work on time -- she was constantly 5 or so minutes late -- her mind set, no big deal -- boss suggested she stop being tardy! lesson learned!! When she found out that it went with possible pay raises -- it became a big deal!!

My daughter is a good kid - but wants to make her own way -- now, she'll run to me in a flash when things get tough!! Yours is probably the same. If she needs to learn by doing -- then let her learn that way -- just don't be so hard on her when she falls!! That's an area where i have to work -

good luck!!

I haven't hit the teenage years yet but they are right around the corner.

I belive the best way to teach a true lesson is not to give them any extra money when theirs has run out. My 16 year old son is learning the hard way. If he blows his paychech, then when he has a date and has no money he cant go on that special date. He is getting better managing his money!http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley2.gif

I agree with Auntie J, as much as it may be difficult to let them learn the hard way, the best you can do is teach them what you can and then allow them to learn for themselves.

You might also consider introducing her to a good book on the subject from Suzie O or Dave Ramsey if you think she'll read it. This only works for some kids though.

I agree with Auntie J; DON'T give them extra money when they don't manage what they have. This was very hard for me, but when I really didn't have any extrato give her, I was surprised at how resourceful my 18 yr old daughter became.

My daughters didn't work in high school because they had lots of activites and no car. I gave them a clothes allowance (we started with $50.00 a month.) They could borrow ahead a month when they were getting school clothes together in the fall, but I'm not sure I would encourage borrowing if I was doing it over. This was to include all clothes, including shoes, swimwear, coats, prom dresses, etc. Some months they didn't buy anything, and saved the money; then they could afford a $130.00 prom dress and new shoes. One daughter bought a formal at Penny's for 90% off, $14.00. The other daughter loves to shop at thrift stores, but also asks for gift cards for clothes at Christmas. It worked well for several years. The girls watched sales and took better care of their clothes, and quit whining for me to buy them things. I'd say, "It's your money. Is that what you want to spend it on?" $100 per mo. might be more realistic,depending on your kid.

I know a mom who gives her teenager $300.00 a month and he pays for EVERYTHING out of it; sports fees, school pictures, yearbook, class ring, gas, insurance, dates, etc. That's expecting a lot of management, and I'd work up to it slowly. Also know your kid. If you give them that responsibility, you have to give them the freedom to mess up, without being bailed out and without lectures. I couldn't do it.

I also bought books for teens on money management but they wouldn't touch them. Good luck! http://www.wahm.com/forum/forum_images/post_button_smiley.gifEdited by: veteranmom

I also agree with Auntie J. I do not have a teenager but I remember when I was a teenager and my entire paycheck was spent my mother would not give me anymore money so therefore I had to learn how to budget my paycheck.

Shyronn's got a point, too. As much as we want to help, they won't listen to us like they'll listen to others. And experience is the best teacher, if the consequences aren't TOO serious and we can keep hands off . (Try not to say "I told you so...)http://www.wahm.com/forum/forum_images/post_button_smiley.gif

My 18 year old has been working full time since he was 16 & yes he loves to blow money on game systems,games,the hottest new cell you name it but since he isworking for it himself I can't do much but just remind him about how responsibility w/ his money will help in in the future plus he had to do without some of those things when he was a kid while the other kids at school got it all(like having the newest electronics) & I know he wants it all now so I really don't lecture too much.
http://i97.photobucket.com/albums/l235/meme0907/goofyhappy.gif (http://urgptf.proboards56.com/index.cgi)

My oldest is 11 and we already have him learning to save. I told him before he knows it he'll need money for his car so he better keep saving.

Jill

Great ideas! I found I had to start when my kids were little. When they got old enough to beg for things every time we went to the store, we began giving them their own funds but when they spent the money, it was gone. Our kids learned the value of money very, very quickly! And it avoided many problems when they got older. Hoping to teach our little grandson the same way.

I imagine a little incentive wouldn't hurt with respect to saving. ie. if you put X amount into your account, mom and dad will match it by y$. It makes my sons goal of buying a car a little more attainable than seeing his savings grow ever so slowly. He knows we will help out if we can but only if he does his part.
We don't bail him out of budgeting mistakes is when he overspends. That doesn't teach him anything.

http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley36.gifI spent 30 years working with teen-agers that were"at risk". This means that their behaviors were for the most part "off the wall" in all areas that one can think of. In my opinion by 19 they should have learned to be responsible people. If by that age they have not learned to listen the words of experience----the world of hard knocks will be their best teacher. If they are willing learn and not blame others for their failure....Good luck

It was very hard on me as I raised my two children on my own. It was sad in a way because I couldnt afford to buy them many things. When we went shopping, my 4 year old daughter wouldnt ask if she could have a toy... Instead shewould say" Mom, how much money does this cost? My heart would break! Anyway, I was fortunate enough to have two children who understood the value of money and what it ment to manage it wisely.I think its a process with teenagers, and it is hard for them to understand. Just be patient with them and remember, They all grow up somdday!

I don't have a teenager yet but here is what I do with my 8 year old daughter. I give her a certain amount everyday for school. Whatever amount she saves at the end of the week, I double it and we deposit it to her bank account. This way, she will be able to see how her savings growing and she will not be tempted to spend.

I agree with the other ones who have answered including auntie j...kids and teens have to learn the hard way soemtimes...also teach by example have her help budget or help with bookkeeping and your bank statement...also have them do odd jobs for neighbors, open a savings account or checking account in their name...have them do the bookeeping and bank statements each month assist as needed. Most of all have patience...they eventualy do learn.http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif

I spent 30 years working with teen-agers that were"at risk". This means that their behaviors were for the most part "off the wall" in all areas that one can think of. In my opinion by 19 they should have learned to be responsible people. If by that age they have not learned to listen the words of experience----the world of hard knocks will be their best teacher. If they are willing learn and not blame others for their failure....Good luck

I'm inclined to agree with this - at 19 they are young adults and should be responsible people.

I have a 15 year old and I have found that giving him a budget, or a set amount, has really helped. He seems to be much more cautious when he knows that when it's gone, it's gone.
I also tried this with my younger two, 12 and 8, and magically it worked with them too, lol.

I agree with Shyron. I remember when I was a teenager, I didn't listen to my parents, even though they always had the best intention and they do know best. But a teenager's mind is very stubborn, no matter what generation they come from (I believe :)).

Eventually, though, I realized that my parents were right. And I started to listen to them and I have made good decisions based on what they've told me.

I think the important thing is that you'll be there for them, not to give them the money ;) but to give them support when they need it the most. Don't stop telling them the right thing to do. They're still listening, they just don't know that time that they're doing that.

Good luck!

Leanna

I love this topic. This is my first time posting. So Hello everyone.
I have 2 boys 13 and 17. My husband is a high school Principle. We have many more rules then other parents.
As for money, My boys have never had a set allowance. When there is work to be done, it gets done. When they need money or other things, if it is within reason they will receive the money.
My 17 year old just started driving in Sept. We took care of the car and the insurance. He is responsible forhisown gas. He has small jobs, around his sports and works for me in my businesses.
My 13 year old loves to work like me. He works with me more then my 17 year old. He has even started selling different things on his own.
I have just found it works for us. No set amount a week. Idon't have to fight with them to get things done. And I never hear that I owe them anything.
Hope this helps,
Sandi

Sandi Pace
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Allura Designs
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All I can say is "ugh". I've tried everything and my 16 year old still thinks money grows on trees out back. She's in the process of getting a job and I hope she realizes itisn't easyafter she has her own money.
Have a great night everyone.

Hello everyone, very interesting topic, a passion of mine because like most of the western world the answer really is .. it's too late to start trying to introduce good money habits to teenagers if they have never been introduced to them consistently from a young age.


My recommendation would be to listen (and get them to listen to) everything T Harv Eker has to say on the subject of money management. His children are being brought up learning how to manage money effectively, they each have multiple accounts from under ten years of age.


They all have at least one Future Investing Account, Play Account and Savings Account introduced in a consistent and educational way to form habits.


The best thing to help teenagers come to terms with money is through financial eduaction, make a gift of a book like Rich Dad Poor Dad for Teens by Robert Kiyosaki rather than a lecture, and never reward unless it is for a completed task, well done.


The only place reward comes after effort is in the dictionary.

From an early age when my son asked for something I sat him down and we discussed it. I told him how much I made an hour (after taxes, insurance, etc) and how many hours I would have to work to pay for the item. As he got older and had his own money, he used the same tactic for himself. There are times now if I'm stressing a little he'll dig into his wallet and try to hand me money.

my son is still a baby so i have no issues with him right now. but I remember my mom's way of teaching me how to manage my finances. She let me handle enough money on my own. Check and face consequences on my own. Just like when I bought an item in credit and was not able to pay it on time. She didn't pay it for me so I learn to cut my expenses and pay my credits .

My stepDD is 16 and her pocket money has to cover all of her expenses - bus fair, lunch money, cell phone bill, cosmetics, clothes, birthday gifts, etc. It goes into her bank account each month and she has to budget it.

She also saves a % each month and gives a % to charity, which we strongly encouraged her to do to establish the habit and keep it going when she is working and earning wages.

Katie

Yes! Its important to budget and allow them to have a bank account...this will help them realize where the money is going...and will help them as an adult...later donnahttp://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif

I have 4 kids...20, 17, 15 and 12 and I have always gave them an allowance on chores done and informed them that is it till next week, if you run out, its out...its worked well...

I have no problem whatsoever with my children. They are all responsible although there were times a fight will ensued but its just a sisterly/brotherly fight that will end up with a happy grin. In terms of money matters, no problem too because they know I'm the only breadwinner and I am a responsible mother, so nothing to be afraid of. I'm very lucky to have them.

Hi,
The monkeys are almost like the human beings. They have a sharp mind in all animals.


Sim

I have 2 smileys/smiley29.gif teenagers & for both their favorite hobby is shopping. On the one hand, its great cause they are spending time together. On the other hand, it can be costly. I wrote an article on eHow (see sig below) about how teen girls can get a little more for their money & still be fashionable. Based on this past year's back to school shopping budget cut. Not a strict budget article, but at least a little advice in the clothing area. Its "How To Help Your Teenage Daughter Shop During the Recession"
<a href="http://www.ehow.com/how_4833166_teenage-daughter-shop-during-recession.html" target="_blank">
</a>
Edited by: lindocash

I have been very lucky with my kids - I have more gray hairs than children.

My son had his checkbook for two weeks and bounced a big one. It was a learning experience that he never forgot. What we learned was that, on the issue of money, you need to let them make a few mistakes before they can learn since straight teaching is what ya do in school. The trick is let them make their mistakes while still under the buffering of parents so that a real disaster doesn't happen.

You can't lecture them; you can only hold their hands and try not to cringe.

Edited by: satlizard