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View Full Version : Proper Etiquette
BC-Mommy
10-12-2007, 09:46 PM
Ok, I have a non-BC question, or I should say advise that I wanted to ask my BC buddies.
My Father-in-law died last November from Cancer...I thought that I would send my Mother-in-law a nice flowering plant (I live in California and she is in Nevada...or else I would just go see her). I don't want her to think that we have forgotten such a date...but at the same time, I don't want her to be saddened by the memory everytime she see this plant.
Does anyone out there have any thoughts on this subject? Any suggests, ideas or thoughts would be appreciated.
Thanks everyone!
My Father-in-law died last November from Cancer...I thought that I would send my Mother-in-law a nice flowering plant (I live in California and she is in Nevada...or else I would just go see her). I don't want her to think that we have forgotten such a date...but at the same time, I don't want her to be saddened by the memory everytime she see this plant.
Does anyone out there have any thoughts on this subject? Any suggests, ideas or thoughts would be appreciated.
Thanks everyone!
melpal
10-12-2007, 11:29 PM
Without a doubt, your mother-in-law is thinking of the upcoming sad anniversary and sending her a flowering plant would be a lovely gesture. Don't worry about the memories seeing the plant might evoke. My MIL passed awaynot quite 3 months ago very unexpectedly, and we received severalbeautiful flowering plants as tokens of sympathy. Each time my husband and I look at them wethink of her but in a happy way. We remember howspecial she was (and always will be) to us and the plants make us think of the good times with her. Plus the growing, thriving plants are a lovely tribute to her life, not her death.
I don't know if that makes sense (I'm SO tired, as it's now almost 1:30am) but I think it would be very sweet to remember your MIL as the anniversary draws near. I think it will make her feel loved and will be a tangible way of showing her how much you care.
Take care and God bless,
Melissa
I don't know if that makes sense (I'm SO tired, as it's now almost 1:30am) but I think it would be very sweet to remember your MIL as the anniversary draws near. I think it will make her feel loved and will be a tangible way of showing her how much you care.
Take care and God bless,
Melissa
BC-Mommy
10-13-2007, 01:37 AM
That makes alot of sense. Thank you very much!!
I think that I will find something nice to send to her. http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif
I knew that someone here would help me...I love this place!!
I think that I will find something nice to send to her. http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley1.gif
I knew that someone here would help me...I love this place!!
BeautiDeb
10-13-2007, 05:04 AM
I just wanted to add that I also agree with sending a plant. First anniversaries of the loss are always super hard (I'm a widow) and while a lot of friends/family didn't want to upset me by bringing it up or anything, it hurt me more when they didn't because to me it felt like they were just ignoring it. Also, remember that there's no "right" thing to say.
Debbie P.
Debbie P.
TexasSpa
10-13-2007, 07:54 AM
I just wanted to add that I think sending a plant for the first anniversary of his death would be a great idea.
My Dad passed away 4 years ago from cancer. Every year since, on the anniversary of his death, my family and I put flowers in our church in his memory. My mom mentioned to me this year, that she thought we ought to put the flowers up on his birthday now. She said she wanted to remember that more than the day he died.
My Dad passed away 4 years ago from cancer. Every year since, on the anniversary of his death, my family and I put flowers in our church in his memory. My mom mentioned to me this year, that she thought we ought to put the flowers up on his birthday now. She said she wanted to remember that more than the day he died.
BC-Mommy
10-13-2007, 09:53 AM
Thank you, everyone for your help! I wasn't sure whether or not I should do it..and you all have really helped to putthings into perspective!
Warmest wishes to those who have lost someone dear to them...my heart actually saddened a little when I read all of your stories....but them again, I have become somewhat of a tear-head ever since I became pregnant with my eldest son (who is 5 years old now!!) Silly me.
http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley27.gif
Warmest wishes to those who have lost someone dear to them...my heart actually saddened a little when I read all of your stories....but them again, I have become somewhat of a tear-head ever since I became pregnant with my eldest son (who is 5 years old now!!) Silly me.
http://www.wahm.com/forum/smileys/smiley27.gif
