Watch how you say what you say...

[Mom2Sami]

I had an eye opener this week.

I wrote something in an e-mail while chatting with one of my IBOs that totally came across wrong.

I totally did not mean it the way she thought I meant it and it almost caused a riff in our relationship.

So I just wanted to recommend to everyone that they get their IBOs on the phone every once in a while. That way you reconnect with them and if there are any misunderstanding or needs that they have - you meet them. You never know what is going on in their lives and they might need a word or two or something crazy like this might have happened and you never even knew it.

I realize that as your organization grows it might be difficult to call everyone on a regular basis, but I don't think e-mailing is good enough.

I got lucky. This IBO joined when I was brand new and was actually trained by my sponsor and not me. My sponsor was willing to help me train two of my new IBOs when I was first learning and I am so grateful to her for that. Anyway, since she had my sponsor's e-mail she wrote her and was like "what is up with Karen". Even my sponsor was like "don't know but that totally doesn't sound like her" but they had it in black and white. They had my e-mailing saying what I said.

Well, my sponsor got on the phone/e-mail with me and within seconds realized that it was just one of those sentences that can be read more than one way.


Are you dying now to know what I said?

Well, I said "See ya!"

I meant it as a casual, talk to you later or see you around or hope to talk to you soon...

She thought I meant "See ya, don't want to waste anymore time with you, goodbye, I'm out of here"

She had been having a tough time getting started with her business and she read that as a negative. Me? I say that in everyday life and it did not even occur to me that it had a negative way of thinking. The rest of the e-mail was understanding of her situation and the tone was good, it was just that one little line "see ya".

I went back and thought about it. Do you know how many times I have said it? Do you know how many times I have said "Later...or Laters?" I never really thought about it until now.

Well, I am really working at my e-mail tone now to make sure I don't make that mistake again, but I just wanted you to realize that if you are chatting with someone you need to watch what you say sometimes because the other person may not realize HOW you said it, only what you said.


Ok, I am done sharing my thought of the day...

Karen

Totally true! I have a bit of a sarcastic side and I have to read my emails over and over again just to make sure. Since with email the recipient can't hear the tone of voice I use it's totally up to them to determine what I was saying! I've found that often if I have to be "blunt" in an email I let them know that I'm not mad in any way, but just need to say things in plain terms so that they get what I'm trying to say. I've had to do that with a new IBO since she prefers to email rather than talk on the phone. On the phone she would be able to hear my soft "teaching" tone...but in email it looks like I'm scolding her! So I tried to let her know.

Anyway it is important as you said...sorry that this happened though but thanks for the good reminder!

[Mom2Sami]

Yeah, I am so like that too.

This totally took me by surprise.

And to make matters worse, I am laid back and casual all the time so for me to say something the way she thought I did is completely out of character for me.

I felt SO bad that she felt I just wrote her off and did not want to help her with her new business.

Yes, she is a new IBO, but she is also a redo or a repeat (or whatever you call them). She is someone who was in it and got out and then got back in it again.

So she hasn't really needed me because she has been there and done that, so she really hasn't reached out to me at all so she had not gotten a chance to realize my manner and personality to even realize that the way she read my e-mail was out of character.


Oh well, one for the learning block...

Karen