[Fritzer]

I was physically abused by a "boyfriend" when I was young. 25 years ago. The memories never go away. The fear in those memories is all too real. The sick thing is I ALMOST was lost in one of those relationships again. I wasn't hit...yet. That was about 7 years ago. I was in a relationship and living with the man. He was supporting me. I should have known by the way he spoke to and of his mother and sisters, but I put it off as family resentments. Turned around and did it to me. He was terribly verbally abusive. He'd say the most horrid things and when I tried to stick up for myself, he'd simply tell me "If you don't like it, leave." Knowing full well I had nowhere to go, not really. He did agree to go to couple's counseling for about two sessions. When they pointed out his comments, which he admitted to making and at that time admitted how awful they sounded and how cruel they were. Still, at home he claimed to have felt attacked by them, after all, they had no idea what I put him through (Yeah, right) Privately they urged me to seek refuge at a shelter, apartment share, anything.


Finally after a suprise lock changing incident in an effort to prove his all-mighty control, that was it. I called someone for a huge favor and took the steps to rebuild my life and be self-suffient once again.


Like I said, all the fears and memories are so strong. I just wrote a loooooooooooooooong post that I decided to delete and retype most of it.


I hope you feel better. Are you getting counseling? I'm sorry if you mentioned it, my mind went to another place