steffk, in all honesty I think this is the #1 hardest thing about homeschooling, because it takes thought, time, effort, slogging through a gazillion things, and really figuring out what your educational philosophy is.
IMO, if you don't do that last thing, you will never optimize your homeschooling experience. It's hard, but it's worth it. And it's completely independent of what others do or think.
For starters, when I speak at conventions I always suggest that homeschoolers define specifically what they think it means to be "well-educated." Then figure out how to gear your actions toward that result. You might be really surprised where that takes you!
As for methodology, I have researched most of them and find them to be fundamentally flawed. For example, reproducing a very school-like setting at home is unnecessarily rigid and structured for a family. The Moore method ("better late than early") has useful info, but isn't relevant across the board as some underlying foundation because it simply doesn't fit all kids. Unschooling isn't based on a logical evaluation of how children (or people in general) learn, grow, and progress. Thomas Jefferson Education (TJEd) is based on nonsensical positions and, fwiw, isn't remotely what Thomas Jefferson actually did. (The most cogent presentation of it's myriad problems in one place is probably the blog
Why I Don't Do TJEd.)
The method I like most, in the most general, etherial way, is Well-Trained Mind, but still find it way over the top in it's specificity, almost gruelingly overbearing for young kids, and much too confined to book work.
I use what I call Principle-Centered Home Education (based on an article I wrote in the early 90's), which is underlying principles that can be used for every child, not a specific set of actions that only works with some.
Hopefully some of those ideas help you get started.