Topic: If You Could Go Back What Would You Change?
sunsetsue WAHM.com regular
posted April 21, 2004 11:30 AM
I wouldn't change a thing. I would like to have changed some things at the time, but I'm pretty happy where I am right now.
posted April 22, 2004 04:11 PM
Knowing that every action has an ultimate reaction I would have to give a resounding NO!!!!!!!!!!!
Of course, I would have definitely been on a very different path than what I am now, but I would never have met Prince Charming.
Ok, I am new here but I want to give everyone a brief background and you all will probably say that I am crazy for saying I wouldn't change anything but if you will indulge me and let me take you down memory lane backwards you will understand and possibly make you all think about things in a different light.
Today---Work at home raising my son and step-daughter married to the most understanding man in the world.
2002--Got custody of the only grandaughter my parents will ever have.
2001--Married Prince Charming, recieving security, stability and tons of compassionate understanding. (keep reading, please)
2000--Started working at a company for an insane amount considering previous experience, met my soon to be husband at said company. Please keep in mind that I had previously been a stay at home mom with no computer during the "learning to navigate computer skills era"
1997-- Divorce finalized from abusive SOB
1996-- Buried First born son making me realize what an SOB i was married to, (NO he did not have anything to do with my son's drowning, but let's just say that his reaction afterwards made me realize just how selfish he was along with the ill treatment he had always doled out)
1993--Was blessed with a second child and I do mean blessed I had every intention of having my tubes tied after my first child.
1992--Was blessed with the child that Doc's had told me I would never have.
I could keep going but I won't, I just wanted everyone to see a little bit about how each thing will dominoe into other things if you will let your doors stay open and never wistfully live in your past.
I realize I have rambled, but again I will state that today my son and I are happy, secure stable and never look back just keep going forward. If we looked back on our past we would not be happy because we would be missing a son, brother and living in a very unstable enviroment.
posted April 29, 2004 07:57 PM
I think I would have followed my heart and become a teacher. Instead I listened to people that said it would be tough to get a teaching job and then it would be low pay.
posted June 03, 2004 12:10 AM
I honestly can't think of anything. I did exactly what I wanted w/ school and working, then I got married when I wanted too (or dreamed of) and same w/ my kids.. though we didn't plan on twins (lol) it happened how I dreamed as well.. oddly enough!
posted June 04, 2004 12:10 AM
Great topic! If I could go back to when I was 18, I would spend more time really listening to people. I would realize the value of self-confidence, and what an attractive quality that is. And finally, I would make more of an effort to learn from the mistakes of others instead of repeating them myself - LOL! Blessings, Judy
[This message has been edited by tchrmom (edited June 04, 2004).]
posted June 11, 2004 12:47 AM
If you went back and changed decisions then our children everything we have would be all wrong. We are where we are suppose to be right now.
posted July 16, 2004 02:45 PM
This may sound sort of stupid considering what I have been through in my life, but I would not change any of it.
If you would have asked me that 10 years ago I would have had a different answer. Today I have a great husband and a great family including my "step" daughter and I would not have any of them if I did not take the paths I chose.
I met my husband in a "support" group (if you want to call it that) and I have never had anyone ever love me the way he does. I enjoy my kids (for the most part) and am so lucky to be able to stay at home with them today.
Every wrong move I made along the way lead me to that day, to that room, to that table I chose to sit at. And I couldn't be happier.
My past has made me who I am today and I love me today so God has worked it all to the good and today I am a grateful WAHM.
posted July 16, 2004 02:54 PM
This may sound sort of stupid considering what I have been through in my life, but I would not change any of it.
If you would have asked me that 10 years ago I would have had a different answer. Today I have a great husband and a great family including my "step" daughter and I would not have any of them if I did not take the paths I chose.
I met my husband in a "support" group (if you want to call it that) and I have never had anyone ever love me the way he does. I enjoy my kids (for the most part) and am so lucky to be able to stay at home with them today.
Every wrong move I made along the way lead me to that day, to that room, to that table I chose to sit at. And I couldn't be happier.
My past has made me who I am today and I love me today so God has worked it all to the good and today I am a grateful WAHM.
posted July 17, 2004 10:20 AM
I just have to update my response since I started my new business! OMGoodness! Provided I could keep the same DH and kids, I sincerely wish I had started my Mary Kay business about 8 years ago when I first was presented with the idea! How much easier it would be to have established the biz before the kids - although I must say that working this biz 15-20 hours a week is MUCH easier than babysitting 50-60 hours per week on top of raising my own kids!
posted July 27, 2004 07:32 PM
I would have to say that I wouldn't change a thing...
I believe that if I would have changed a thing, my life would would not be the same. I believe that from everything that happens, is for a reason. Take for example, I was living in an apartment, and I was rob. Well, within the next week I was moving out, and that is where I met my hubby!! So, it wasn't good that I got robbed, but because of that, I met the most wonderful man in my life..and we have been married for over 17 years!!!
posted August 02, 2004 11:38 AM
I was going to say I would have chosen a more specific major in college than English, so then I wouldn't have had to have crappy office jobs for the past 9 years, BUT:
- I wouldn't have the writing skills that I now want to use in a freelance writing career. - I wouldn't have a BUNCH of other skills I've picked up, such as website authoring and promotion, newsletter publishing, expertise in MS Office, book editing and a whole host of other useful things I can do because of my varied experience. And all these will help me as a freelancer.
So I thank God for ALL the decisions I've made...the good, the bad and the stupid.
posted August 02, 2004 11:39 PM
The ONLY thing I would change is that I would have married my husband sooner. We were both going to school and didn't have jobs, but I would have said yes one of the times that my husband said, let just go get married (don't have to tell everyone or make it a big deal). This way my first daughter wouldn't have been conceived out of wedlock and when I tell her to try and save herself until she's married at least I would be able to say that I did. She would not be able to look back and have a valid reason to think that maybe my husband and I didn't want her since she was an "accident" - we've never viewed it that way, but I worry that she'll think that one day when she is a teenager. She'll always be able to say, why should I wait, you didn't. You got married young and made me before you were married and everything worked out fine, so I can do things that way too. Of course, I would like all of my daughters so finish college and get married before they conceive any kids, even though that's not the way I did it. So that's the only thing I would change. I would have gotten married sooner.
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posted August 17, 2004 09:28 PM
I would realize that all the things I thought were so important in high school turned out to be silly and not worth all the energy I spent worrying about them. I would have studied more in college and taken Italian language classes. I would have taken better advantage of what was offered to me during those years.
Before settling into a career in my twenties, I would have backpacked through Europe - gotten odd jobs to support my travels and seen the world.
I would have had a better haircut in my twenties. Oy, what a bad 'doo I sported.
I wouldn't have eaten three McDonald's Filet-o-Fish sandwiches a day twice a week when I was pregnant with my first child. In fact, I wouldn't have used that pregnancy as an excuse to eat piles and piles of fried foods.
But really, in the end, other than the hair and the poor dietary choices, everything I did brought me to a pretty nice place. I just wish I wouldn't have let certain opportunities for self-enrichment pass by.
posted August 20, 2004 02:53 PM
I would change my education. If I would have stayed in Georgia instead of going out of state, I would have been able to finish school with my Hope grant still intact. (sigh)
posted September 06, 2004 12:57 AM
When I was 18 I had the perfect opportunity to join the Peace Corps. Soon after I passed it up, I got pregnant, quit college, and got married - in that order. I love my life now - I'm married to a different man and have 4 beautiful children, and I'm happy with being a Mary Kay consultant - but I often wonder what I might have gained if I would have decided to join.
posted September 12, 2004 12:16 PM
Well, at first I thought I would have finished college instead of getting married when I did, but getting married when I did and starting to have sex informed me that I had some problems that were going to make it difficult to have children, so, we got an earlier start on fixing the issue and after being told I may never have any kids, there are now three wonderful munchkins in our home.
So, what I would really change is getting my first credit card...I NEVER would have done it, that led to one bad financial choice after another, getting into debt way above our heads, my dh taking a job as a conultant and being gone from Sunday to Friday night, that putting way to much stress on me and I took it out on my kids a lot of the time (that's MUCH better now,by the way), eventually, we had 10 credit cards and couldn't breathe so we filed for bankruptcy before we were thirty...UGH!!! Talk about regrets!!!!!
posted September 30, 2004 11:35 PM
Honestly I wouldn't change a thing... who I am today is a result of the decisions I made and the people that I associated with. I like ho I am and I am very lucky to have a wonderful Husband and 2 beautiful children.
posted October 04, 2004 10:44 PM
I think I'd go back and enjoy "life" a bit more, definitely further my education, and wouldn't have jumped into marraige. As hard as I try to fool myself that the life I have is happy, I really would have changed a lot. Don't get me wrong, I love my husband and kids, but I do have a lot of regrets. If I could have "lived" and then gotten the life I have now....I'd be a lot happier...or so I think today. lol
posted October 16, 2004 07:15 PM
Right now my life is good. People have worse and I shouldn't complain. Yet there is always that ....'what if'. And honestly, if I could go back to 18 I would do one thing very different. After graduation I would have went to a jr. college instead of the university I chose. By doing this I would have stayed in school and not have gotten married a year later. My life would have went into a whole different direction.
posted October 28, 2004 11:51 PM
Well, I was married at 19 (and still am at 26...to the same DH ). I would have to say I would make sure we were clear of debt and had our finances more in order. If we would have learned how to handle money better at a younger age (of course, how many people really do) the issue of being able to stay home wouldn't really be that big of an issue. My son is 3 (almost 4) now and ever since he was born we've been trying to get me home.
I see DH's younger sisters making some of the same mistakes we did, and I always try to make them see they will be in the exact same boat we are in (Lord know they've seen what we've been through. And just like us at that age, they think they understand and have a better handle at it but they don't.
posted November 01, 2004 02:04 AM
I too..would have never gotten that first credit card when I was 18....I'm 22 now, that was the one bit of advice that I didn't listen too..oh wait..I would have continued to live on campus and not live in an apartment where my focus changed from School and grades to rent and utilities.
But, I know enough to wait until I have finished college to get married and have kids. this is a decision that is right "FOR ME" I see so many women drop out of college to start a family, and then try to go back 10 to 15 years later, when it is much more hectic. I actually see the future, and I will wait.... AS I SAID..this is a decision that is right for "ME"
posted November 17, 2004 08:19 AM
I am 60 years old and looking back over my life, I had thought, gee, I would skip the last 2 marriages, but no, one produced my son and they all were leaning experiences. I definitely would not have sold my 2 homes because they would have been paid for now and I wouldn't be scrambling for a place to live that I can afford. I would not have helped people who could help themselves as much as I did. And I would have had my own business way before now. I let too may opportunities go because my husband didn't "approve". Education is nice if you can afford it, which I couldn't but these days it is go for the gusto and don't let lack of college degree hold you back, ladies. Or husbands. Be your own woman.
posted November 17, 2004 10:20 AM
I would change a few things but nothing significant. Those things I did and experienced in my younger years are what made me what I am now good and BAD! I would not trade that for anything. It was a great question it made me stop and reflect on a few things and gave me a perspective on what I have become and how I got here. It is good to reflect from time to time so thank you!
------------------ Carolyn Windley Owner/ Wedding Planner/ Loan Officer www.EverythingButAGroom.com, www.CarolynsCherubsNChocolates.com and Western Mortgage and Bookkeeping
posted December 01, 2004 07:25 PM
I graduated high school in 1993.I was enrolled to go to college.I messed up my life by running away from home,I hated my moms rules,so I left.I haven't been back since.I should've stuck it out with my mother.I regret not going to college because later on in your life it's good to have it-but dummy me I didn't care at that time.After all said, I should've changed my way of thinking.
posted December 04, 2004 03:09 AM
wow, great question!If i had know then what i know now! I'd start at 18 the goof off age, get my grades back! go to medical school,become a ME , I wouldn't have settled, but I also wouldn't have traded my son!
posted December 06, 2004 12:51 PM
I used to think that I would have taken my education more seriously. But, I am a firm believer that everything happens for a reason. And I would now have to say that, no, I wouldn't change a thing. Why? Because then I might not have met my soul mate or given birth to my perfect son three months ago. Sure, if I had been more serious in school I might have a high paying executive job, but I'm not so certain I would be as happy.
posted December 08, 2004 10:03 PM
As tempting as it would be, I would not change anything because I believe that everything that has happened in my life is exactly as it was meant to be to get me to the perfection of who I am.
posted December 14, 2004 07:25 AM
This is a very good question! I have noticed that often people says they should have or wouldn't have done. Well, my answer to the question would be NO! I believe that everything happens for a reason and we all have plans for our lives made by a higher power. We just have to choose which path we take and that depends of which plan we are dealt.
If I were to go back and change anything in my life I might not be where I am now and might not know the things I know. 8 years ago I met my soul mate and if I were to go back in time I might not have met him. My first marriage was a learning experience for me and my divorce was the biggest learning part. I feel that if I had not gone through that I would not be as strong today.
All in all, everything we have gone through has a reason behind it. In life we go through tests that prepare us for our next step.
posted December 14, 2004 08:50 PM
I would change my education. I definitely would have finished college then. I'm going back next month (at 31) to finally finish my degree.
However, when I was in college after high school, I wasn't serious about what I did because I really had no idea what I wanted to do with my life. I was in that "cool, I'm in college" state of mind and didn't really try.
Now that I have my priorities in order, it will be so much more rewarding to me to earn my degree.
posted January 13, 2005 07:35 PM
I wouldn't change the major things (education, husband, kids); but I would pay more attention to the "little" things: fitness, church, my children's babyhood...
...Ah, but I guess that's what maturity is all about.
Good question.
------------------ Nicole Stoner--Independent Consultant for Do-Re-Me & You! created by Kindermusik Musik4Me.com
posted January 14, 2005 04:35 PM
I KNOW this is going to sound AWFUL but.... I'd have waited to have my girls with my hubby (now) I LOVE the girls & I know they were "charted" at that time for a reason - and I know what it was - but still... And WE would have been a bit more Obviouse about our feelings for eachother ( back then we were best friends in school together) we both wanted to be more but didnt want to lose the friendship ( Old story) LOL LOL - but like i said things happen for a reason & we couldnt be happier to be where we are now. Peg
posted January 23, 2005 02:53 PM
I don't think I'd change anything. I did things that interested me at the time, and if I would not have done them, I'd still be curious. What I have for family and career now is great, and everything from my past has led up to this.
Debbie
------------------ Debbie, Discovery Toys Group Manager www.discoverytoyslink.com/debbie 2005 Los Cabos Trip Earner & President's Club Achiever
posted March 02, 2005 09:20 AM
The only thing I would change would be to STOP and smell the flowers from time to time. I spent many years running full steam ahead. I have finally relized (21 years later)that it is ok to take some time for myself. The world will not come to an end.
posted March 04, 2005 08:56 PM
If I could go back to 18 what would I change. Well, I would do as many of the others here have stated and take college a little more seriously. I would have listed to my parents when they told me that this person or that person was nothing but trouble and I would have saved a few pennies here and there because I've definitely hit those rainy days that everyone was always talking about. That's really the only things that I would change.
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posted April 21, 2004 11:30 AM
). I would have to say I would make sure we were clear of debt and had our finances more in order. If we would have learned how to handle money better at a younger age (of course, how many people really do) the issue of being able to stay home wouldn't really be that big of an issue. My son is 3 (almost 4) now and ever since he was born we've been trying to get me home.