posted August 06, 2003 04:24 PM
I'm going to sacrifice cable television! haha. I'm also going to give up a couple of trips to town a week. That's a big deal for me. We live way out in the country and I usually drive over to my parents house in the next town several times a week. I'm going to cut it down to once a week.
posted August 06, 2003 06:51 PM
When I first went solo we revamped our food budget - having more time to prepare meals meant less eating out/snack foods/convience packaging - while I worked outside it was common for the family to eat out (lunch and dinner) six days a week - I hate to cook so this was a major sacrafice
------------------ Laura AKA tenXmom Fundraisers - Burned out with candles and candy?
posted August 07, 2003 08:09 PM
I would sacrafice anything! I love staying home with my son. I have been doing it now for almost 2 years and I would be devastated to have to go back to work and leave my son in someone else's care. I think it would also affect my son. I have sacraficed selling my car to cut the cost of insurance, gas and loan payments and I am very frugal in shopping.
posted August 08, 2003 12:48 AM
I really haven't been sacrificing anything...probably why I have no money saved! LOL...
Seriously though, we don't take nearly as many trips as our friends do, our car is a 96, not a 2003, I shop at the thrift store - and get some awesome deals I might add..(thats actually a hobby more than a necessity though)
So, I guess I do sacrifice a bit..but then again, I'm the only person of my peers w/ such a large family - most are unmarried, corporate types that are my age (28/29)
To keep my spirits up about it though, I remind myself...my "fun" will come later...when the kids are getting older, and I'm still at an age where I can do things with them and relate to them...so, it has its advantages
So, to answer the question..I've always been somewhat 'frugal' so I don't feel as though I'm sacrificing anything...
I will add though, I didn't go into the SAHM thing willingly, I was perfectly content to drop my children off at a family daycare...until my oldest was 1 and my middle was 4 months..it just became pointless to work just to pay childcare..
It took me a good year to adjust to being a SAHM, I look back on it though w/ few regrets...and I've gained more than I ever imagined.
p.s. That first year I had NOTHING in terms of an outlet (we were internetless in 1999) I can't believe I actually survived...lol
posted August 11, 2003 04:11 PM
Am I the only one who is dealing with this problem? I feel that I've been sacrificing time with my kids. I know we want to stay home to be with our kids, but I've been working alot hoping to get to that point where I don't have to work as much. I hate the feeling I have when I'm trying to work on my biz and get things done and my girls are screaming "mommy mommy, talk to me." I try to divide myself, I try to make them happy first and then get to work, but the days I do that I end up getting no work done at all. It's only me with a 3 year old, 22 month old, and 4 month old. Most the time when I'm posting here I'm typing with one hand cause I'm nursing my baby at the same time. I'm trying hard to give my girls and my business the attention they need, but I feel like I'm shortchanging both of them. Nobody else feels like this?
posted August 12, 2003 12:34 AM
Well I don't know how any of you get any of your work done with kids around... Honestly when researching telecommuting and doing a presentation to my boss from where I used to work last year, I did a lot of research on working from home and one requirement that there was a consenus on was that there had to be some kind of supervision for the children while you were working. I don't know how anyone can type things, study stuff online, build websites, read books, take telephone calls, meet clients etc. when you have a bunch of kids to look after at the same time.
I have one daughter, who is very well behaved and self sufficient (mostly!) and she's four. I spend weekends trying to get work done online and I can't sit at the PC for more than 10 mins max before she requires my attention. So I tend to work later at night when she's asleep or when she's at her father's.... I don't really get very far with her there.
I plan to work from home fulltime when i finish this office job I have now. I plan to keep my daughter in childcare at least 2 or 3 days per week as I do not see any way that I can do anything productive if she is with me at home full time....
quote:Originally posted by LKZMommy: Am I the only one who is dealing with this problem? I feel that I've been sacrificing time with my kids. I know we want to stay home to be with our kids, but I've been working alot hoping to get to that point where I don't have to work as much. I hate the feeling I have when I'm trying to work on my biz and get things done and my girls are screaming "mommy mommy, talk to me." I try to divide myself, I try to make them happy first and then get to work, but the days I do that I end up getting no work done at all. It's only me with a 3 year old, 22 month old, and 4 month old. Most the time when I'm posting here I'm typing with one hand cause I'm nursing my baby at the same time. I'm trying hard to give my girls and my business the attention they need, but I feel like I'm shortchanging both of them. Nobody else feels like this?
posted August 16, 2003 12:08 PM
I've sacrificed personal time, income and beneifts.
My children are ages 12 and 13. Since they were babies, I worked part time. They were in the same day care arrangements from infancy until they began school. Summer care and days off during the school year became difficult, but manageable, when they reached school age.
When they became "too old" to send to child care, I quit my job and stayed home full time as a day care provider.
I work 50 hour weeks now, instead of 28 hours weeks. I earn slightly less than I did when I was working outside the home. And I have no vacation pay, sick pay, etc.
For the time being, I love being home when my own children are here, and I love my day care kids.
But I won't do this forever. When my kids are out of high school, I plan to go back into the "other" work world.
posted August 18, 2003 12:18 AM
Nina, I have the same problem. I have a 4 yr old and 15 month old. It was easier before the little one could walk! But, hopefully it will get easier when school starts, pre-K. I didn't want him to go, but we are going to give it a try. I feel torn between work and my kids a lot! I just don't think it would work any other way though. I tried working outside the home and that did not go over well. As long as your kids are happy you will be fine. If you can cut back a little til at least one of them is in school that would be nice. But, if you can't I know how that is too. Also, a teenage helper can be great sometimes when you are feeling like you just can't do anymore.
posted August 18, 2003 07:27 AM
Well I have to say that I sacrificed an extra income. I has been quite hard financially to make ends meet. I must say, no matter how hard it has been it has been worth it. I love being home with my two kids and being able to spend time with them. Now that I am trying to start my own business it has been quite hard to tend to them and do the research necessary to get everything up and running. My son will be starting kindergarten soon and I will only be left with my daughter (7 mon.). Hopefully with him starting school it will give me a little break through the day to work and get my little business up and running. I've pretty much worked FT throughout my marriage so it was a big sacrifice to stop working and losing that extra income. Then I also had to get into the "being at home all the time mode" which was hard for me. I must also add like one of the other post "my sanity"
posted August 28, 2003 12:12 AM
For me, it wasn't so much financial as it was career. I just love being out working. Learning and interacting with others, dressing up, responsibility, recognition.
There are ways to get that kind of enjoyment in other areas, working from home, like chamber or networking groups, conventions, etc.
I've been blessed to have someone else (my husband) that provides enough income that I have been able to stay at home, but last year, when that ended, I came to the hard realization that I had been treating my business as a hobby and when I needed it to pay me like a business - it paid me like a hobby.
Things are better than ever now, but I have an entirely different expectation of my business and finances.
posted August 30, 2003 03:11 AM
Well...this is what I have to deal with just starting the last two weeks. I had been a daycare provider for six years and was doing quite well all of last year. Actually, my money was extra money that was going into the bank and hubby was working a lot of over time. Well, I'm close to getting my pre-school teacher permit and need classroom hours for it so I just closed my daycare and started working as a student assitant at my college's pre-school. I only get to work 20 hours a week....possibly 30 and only get minimum wage. My pay has gone WAY DOWN! To do this I had to sit down and really think how were we going to tighten the belts but still have some fun too so I started thinking about what I could do different
1) I made an actual grocery list of meals each night and promised to make dinner every night or at least keep only buy one dinner (easy when we only have one mexican resturant, pizza place and McDonald's in our town)once a week.
2)Really think about if we have to go down to town. We live about an hour away from the nearest town and when you go out on a Sat. you end up having to buy lunch and dinner. Plus....you buy just to buy when you walk through Wal-Mart. If we're not there.....we can't buy. LOL
But the major thing is how to get my husband to stop getting money out every day he goes to work. I monitored his withdrawals once and found that he could easily pull out $60 in one week just because he "needed money in my pocket" just in case there was an emergency. Who needs $60 a week to go to work????? He claims he doesn't buy lunch so I don't know where it it going. When things get tight it will be HIS responsibility to cut back with HIS spending.
posted September 23, 2003 08:31 AM
I'm a WAHM wanna-be. I haven't figured out exactly how to go about it. I've been checking the telecommute pages and haven't seen much of interest to me, I'm not that interested in starting my own business, plus most of the info online about it, you have to pay for it. I would be willing to sacrifice my home, sell it for a smaller one, but the problems are the schools are great here, the taxes are low. My mother watches my son 4 days a week, the other day I telecommute and my mother-in-law keeps an eye on him. I guess my problem is more should I sacrifice? My pay is quite decent but I would sacrifice that as well. I'm just not sure if it's the absolute best choice.
posted September 23, 2003 03:22 PM
In my case, I guess I've sacrificed my entire career, but am not bitter about it. I spent years in school to become an accomplished pianist, and have my Masters in Piano Performance, and jobless. I do teach from a home studio, but the kids come first, and relocation in order for me to take the kind of job I'm qualified for, is out of the question. Adjunct college positions have been tried, but those amount to full-time work for part-time pay.....forget that!
So I guess I've sacrificed my career. I'll be 42 before I can enter my field again full-time, and will probably have to do something other than I was educated to do.
As negative as that sounds, I am happy with my decision to put family first. This definitely was not the way I planned my life out as a college student, and that's perhaps a good thing.
posted September 23, 2003 03:27 PM
Thankfully I have been a stay at home mom for almost 4 years and have not had to sacrifice anything but my own free or quiet time (which really if you think about it that is alot in itself) but I would have to say I would give up going ot to eat which we do very often, and I would give up smoking that has gotten quite expensive! I would also give up just driving all the time gas prices have gotten so high that it is pretty smart to only go whenyou have to!
------------------ Misty Jones Independent Avon Rep Only $10.00 to start Drop me a line New Mark product Line! Geared towards the Young women of today! jonsey316@wmconnect.com
posted September 25, 2003 11:56 PM
We sacraficed a lot at first: older car, brown bag and coupon cutting to buy groceries, no cable, no new clothes for us, never went out to dinner or movies or anywhere much less a vacation! We had about $15-$20 a week spending money and were paycheck to paycheck.
Now we sacrafice time, hubby works a side job a few weekends a month. And we still haven't had a honeymoon, but otherwise, we are now comfortable and although not spendthrift - get what we want. What a difference a few years makes, but when I look back - all of the sacrafice was worth it. I would do it again in a heartbeat because watching my children grow is more important to me than a big screen tv or trendy clothes any day!
------------------ Alissa
Helping women create success working from home for over 4 years.
posted October 12, 2003 06:24 PM
I think I'm willing to sacrifice a well paying job if I'm not happy there. I used to commute to work daily and I hated getting stuck in traffic and dealing with angry drivers. Tempers are so high on the roads. If I have to go through this everyday just to get to work, I'd gladly give up the job.
posted October 13, 2003 11:38 AM
In many ways I feel like I am sacrificing my financial security and the ability to retire at some time. I have no benefits, although I did with my first WAHM JOb. I make way less than I did in the corp world. I feel like I get less respect, too. We rarely vacation, drive old cars, I spend virtually no money on myself. I could not afford to attend my high school reunion. Like Laura, I have to cook now (yuck). I had to give up the cleaning lady (that was a sad day). SO I guess I sacrifice a lot. Obviously I think it is worth all the sacrifice or I would not be at home. Dany
posted October 13, 2003 09:19 PM
Sacrifice? I do not have small children at home but really like staying home to work. when my children were young I did licensed day care on two air force bases and did quite well. We sacrificed some privacy and when the parents did not pick up their children on time, we sometimes had to change our plans. When I worked outside my home, my children suffered the most, a single parent, hardly ever home, going to college and working part time. Fortunately I had my mother to help me so it was not all bad but I missed a lot with the children. If I had this opportunity when I was younger or I guess I could have created my opportunity. My thinking was not so bold then.
posted October 14, 2003 10:27 AM
Well, maybe i am looking at this differently. My career is my kids, my job is something i have to do until my ship with money comes in and i never have to work again. I am raising my kids to run this work and take care of me when i am older. My job pays for the things i need to do just that. The only thing i sometimes miss is the adult conversations around the water cooler, but that is why i searched out a message board!! I was sacrificing my kids when i worked outside the house, giving that up was the best thing i ever did in my life.
posted January 01, 2004 03:38 PM
Wow, Margt63, you are a mirror image of myself at this point in my life. I have a 10 month old daughter, and like you I am content sending her to a childcare center 2 days a week. I work for the same childcare company but just at a different location. I am 5 minutes away from my daughter, and can see her anytime I want. I am however looking for something to do at home. When I am at home with her on Wednesdays, I do some computer stuff while she naps, and when she goes to bed at 8pm. So you see, I have a good 2-3 hours at night to work. Thanks for being an inspiration and hope for my situation.
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[This message has been edited by Nannysangel (edited January 01, 2004).]
posted January 15, 2004 12:05 PM
I would have to say everything and anything because my children mean more to me than anything in this world. And having the opportunity to be home with them would definatley make me alot happier.
posted January 26, 2004 01:33 PM
This is a good question and especially relevant right now. It is something I've been dealing with lately. See, staying home has been a real positive. But, the economic stress is starting to make me think hard. My husband is only an appretice at this time, his hours vary and are not in his control. The savings we had is dwindling and we are going in the hole each month. The stress, and the things that my children cannot do b/c of $ has me knowing I need to do something. Because there is only so much you can give up before it affects your family and then you have to decide.
posted January 27, 2004 01:14 PM
Although my staying home now (FINALLY) puts more money into our pocket ... there was a time when this was not true. Fortunately, we never gave up anything except for J.O.B. security --- I was a school teacher --- before the birth of my first child.
posted January 27, 2004 02:56 PM
As of this moment i am a stay at home mother and there is nothing more i enjoy then staying home and doing the whole housewife mommy thing but we do need the extra money and it is very hard for me to find a job as because i had my daughter at the tender age of 15 she is 7 now and i do not have a high school diploma im working on getting my G.E.D BUT THAT IS WHY IM ONT HIS SITE TO FIND A JOB AT HOME so i can still do all the things i love so much and also to make the extra money every family needs oh so much in their lives so if any of you have any suggestions for me on getting a job at home working with computers which i think im fairly good at or anything else please feel free to tell me so
posted January 27, 2004 04:03 PM
I'm sacrificing sleep. I'm working full time from home and I have to start work at 5am then work during two naps and start up again at 8 PM. I'm exhausted, but it's worth it when I see my son's little face smile up at me! I'm sure the next few years will fly by and he'll be in school and then I can sleep.
posted February 02, 2004 12:04 AM
I guess the one thing I'm sacrificing is me! I have been home since my son was born (5 1/2 years). About 18 months ago my 3rd child was born, an unexpected blessing. Long story short, I was diagnosed with postpartum depression, went on Zoloft and went back to work 3 days a week! What a tremendous relief! I loved my children but I was just drowning under them...but then I noticed my little girls were suffering. The 2 year old had issues & the baby was biting everyone. In November I made the decision to come back home. Now I work one day a week (at our business) and then I work online from 7pm to midnight doing eBay consignments. It works for me...but somedays I have a very hard time being home all day.
In the long run I won't regret my decision to put off my desire for fulfillment on behalf of my children.
posted February 04, 2004 03:00 PM
Making the choice to be a stay at home mother does force you to make a few chages and makes you sacrifice a few things. But you know what out of all of the things I have sacrificed I feel so blessed to be the one home with my children everyday. I have sacrificed having the extra money I use to have, eating out as much, and many other things. But I wouldnt take all of those things back to leave my children again. I have been given a gift to be able to stay at home with my children. The most precious gift that I could ask for! So even though we have to sacrifice I guess I am trying to say that we get so much in return!
posted February 15, 2004 03:14 PM
When my son was born, I had my paltry six weeks of maternity leave and I was back to work. For the first seven months of my son's life my husband and I both worked 40 hours a week. I worked days and he worked a graveyard shift. We did this in order to avoid daycare, as we are both very much against them. (We call them Kid Kennels.) Anyway, when we started our business, we were fortunate to have both been able to quit our jobs and pursue working for our ourselves full time.
Since then I have realized the full value of being able to be there everyday for my little boy. I also know how much we would have missed of his life if we were still grinding away at 40 hours per week working for someone else. What would I sacrafice? Well, to me, parenthood is the MOST IMPORTANT, MEANINGFUL JOB A HUMAN BEING COULD HAVE. If my business was to dissolve tomorrow, would I go back to working outside the home? HECK NO!
As fast as these precious years roll by, nothing could ever stand in my way from experiencing them with my child.
posted February 18, 2004 04:57 PM
Lets see, i have sacrificed hair cuts, coloring and perms, cut back on food budget lots of staple foods. I cut corners everywhere i can. I try so hard to make ends meet and have done fairly good. The kids have had to sacrifice new toys, and trips to walmart LOL The trips remind them of their sacrifices too, so i usually go by myself. We went to the cheapest of cheap on everything. But things I have sacrificed do not compare to what my friend has sacrificed. From golfing, to goofing corners have been cut on my friends part. He is a good man who has a great heart and the ultimate in understanding of my situation and how important I feel the need be to stay at home with my/his kids. The sacrifice on his part was made because he commutes 1 and a half hours to work everyday and he likes knowing that i am here for his kids too. He makes decent money and gets the bills paid with little reward to himself. None of the perks like before but it was a joint decision on what was best for all of us.
posted February 19, 2004 11:48 AM
I sacrifice alot of things. I would rather be at home with my kids knowing that someone else isn't taking care of them, then have nice clothes, shoes, jewelry, fancy cars, cellphones etc...
posted May 12, 2004 10:58 PM
I must say I never planned to be a stay at home mother. I didnt plan my three blessings either. I have learned that it takes a tremendouse amount of strength to commmit your whole day to your children, not to mention love and patience. yet I think I have gained so much understanding and love for the three little souls I helped bring into this world. Sure I miss going out and extra shopping and my husbands time. But I figure this is only temporary . The reward reaped in the long run I believe will be well worth it. Not to mention i believe I have a closeness with my children and more control and order over my household than I would if I worked right now.
posted May 14, 2004 05:37 PM
This is a GREAT question! Ten years ago, when I started my home business, I sacrificed ALOT to get it started and keep it going. Date nights went out the door, and I quit worrying about "keeping up with the Joneses" on the cutest new baby toys and clothes.
Those pots and pans and measuring cups were jsut fine.
At the end of the first year, it was SO worth it.
Keeping my babies out of daycare was of utmost importance to me and I am so grateful that I was able to make that happen.
The biggest key is to decide what you are NOT willing to live without in your life and let that spur you forward in your home business.
For me, I was not willing to live without choices, lifestyle, freedom, travel, etc, for all of my life.
So, I gave it up for a short time and now that seems like such a SMALL sacrifice!
posted September 02, 2004 07:42 AM
I traded my brand new Grand Am for a 1990 Geo Prizm so I could stay home with my kids. I think if more people were willing to do without new cars, new homes, etc. they could easily be a stay at home mom (if that's want they want to do). I have had other moms tell me that they are working full time just to pay for their new car, cell phone, etc. and if that is the ONLY reason they are working, than they are sacrificing precious irreplaceable time with their children to pay for their toys.
posted March 17, 2005 11:29 AM
i have been home for 20 years including the time i took to go back to college. i have loved it and wouldn't change a thing. i've found plenty to do-volunteering, cooking from scratch, book-clubs, etc. it's been a very satisfying life for me. my husband also makes very good money, so i didn't have to worry about not having enough of anything or not having things we wanted.
posted March 23, 2005 11:57 AM
suprisingly it doesn't seem like we sacrificed a whole bunch since i quit because we are still living paycheck to paycheck and are very impulse buyers, just not as much anytmore.
posted April 01, 2005 04:11 PM
I dont really feel like I sacrificed anything. If anything I have learned alot on how to budget something I know I will take with me someday when I go back to work fulltime. I am very happy with my car & happy that my kids are not spoiled rotton with the latest toys. It really makes them appreciate stuff when they do get something alot more!!
I may not have a career where I left off but I will have a new career & a new adventure when I go back into the workforce
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posted August 04, 2003 08:11 AM
