posted November 04, 2003 01:31 AM
Michele, you described my teen years to a T. I used my clothes and piercings as a way to express myself because of the lack of control I had while living with my dad. Funny, due to circumstances that I couldn't control, I'm staying with my dad and I just recently redid my tongue. Must be the inability to express myself again. LOL Robin
posted November 04, 2003 06:08 PM
Ok....even see old people with piercings?
I have and it's not pretty a'tall!
When to Vince Beach this past summer and there were two very old people with piercings all over their face, lips, ears and such. Now add all this to wrikled skin.
I'm as open minded as the next person but kids who think all this stuff is neat needs to see what a 60 year old wrikled peron looks like! Once those earlobes are stretched out there ain't no going back.
posted November 17, 2003 11:33 AM
I will kill my kids. End of story. If they EVER think of defacing their bodies while living under my roof, I will lock them in a closet until they turn 18. LOL Not really, but I just can't bear to think of my sweet little 4-year-old all pierced up, or my darling 1-year-old covered in ink. No way.
Pierced ears are one thing. Maddy isn't allowed to get hers pierced until she at least starts school, and after that, she has to be the one to come to us and ask for it, seriously. If she wants a second ear piercing, she'll have to wait until she's 13. Any others will have to wait until she's out of my house. As for Gabe, tough cookies for him. He's not allowed to get pierced, inked, or anything until he's out of the house. I know, I'm such a dull parent - but these are my BABIES!
Well, let's see.. I'm 39, and I've got two holes in each ear, and two tattoos. I've dyed my hair all sorts of colors, but nothing really, really outrageous (unless you can consider burgundy hair outrageous). My fifteen year old's got one ear pierced and his hair dyed blonde. His piercing I got for him when he was four. He bugged me every single day for six weeks straight to get it done--and when I finally asked him WHY he was so hooked on getting it done, I realized that to him, it was some sort of male "rite of passage" or something--since my brother had his done, one of his friends had his ear pierced, my husband had his pierced... I figured he'd grow out of it--but he never did. He doesn't always wear an earring in it now, but on occasion he still does. I affectionately refer to my son now as "my dear bananahead" since his hair is normally DARK brown, almost black, and when we dyed it, the color lightened up to a banana yellow, and that was it. If my son wanted a tattoo, I'd probably let him get one--as long as it wasn't something that showed. I don't like the tongue piercings and eyebrow piercings and stuff, either.. just too weird.
posted December 04, 2003 12:22 AM
I'm 32. I currently have 9 holes in my ears (4 on one side, 5 on the other). I used to have 16. My tongue is pierced. My nose WAS pierced. I have 4 tattoos (all of them cover-able). I curently have a blaze of neon blue to purple fading to hot pink at the tip mixed in with brown hair.
I am the proud mommy of an eleven month old little man.
All of my tats, piercings and radical dye jobs were done after I was 18 and out of my parents' home.
My son will also have to wait until the age of consent.
posted January 15, 2004 08:45 AM
LOL, when I saw this post, I was thinking "Who's over here talking about me!??!" LOL.
I'm glad to see there are soooo many open minded people here on this board. I myself have 3 tattoos, 4 peircings, and pink hair. I would like to comment on a few things I read in this post. First thing.... getting your childs ears peirced at the mall can be one of the most dangerous, and quite painful things to do. Peircing with a gun (they use guns to peirce at the mall). Alot of these people are unexperienced with doing peircings. I personally recommend taking children to a professional body peircer to have their ears peirced. They do not use guns. They use a needle. Its almost painless. The needles and jewlery are brand new, and the packages are opened in front of you. i know tons of people who's ears got infected from getting them done at the mall. I dont' know one person who's ears were infected after getting them peirced by a body peircing shop. Also, there was a comment made about stretched ears. If you remove a stretched ear peircing, it will eventually go back to normal, their may be some slight scarring though,but, very little. Also, I believe body mods are beautiful at any age. Even the old people with peircings
Anyways, just wanted to make a few comments. Now about me. I have 3 tatoos. Black Roses on my calf, and my childrens names on each arm near my shoulder. I have 4 peircings. 2 stretched ears, 1 eyebrow, and 1 stretched tongue peircing. I can stick straws thru my tongue LOL. Heres some pics
Alot of people assume b/c I look "different" that I make a bad parent. I get stared at in the store, people ask me if these are my kids, like I can't be a parent or something. My 3 year old has had his hair green, and dressed punk rockish. Of course it was temporary gel, that washes right out. When my kids get a little older, if they want a mohawk, or whatever color hair, then it's fine by me. My parents were very open minded and allowed me to dye my hair when I was a teen, I got my tongue peirced at 16. I really feal like if your child wants to express theirselves in a "different" way than you would normally approve, let them do it. Its their body. As far as tattoos, I'm kinda iffy about that until they're at least 18. Hair grows back, and peircings will close up, but tattoos are hard to remove!
People just please, be openminded. Times are changing, kids are going to want things our parents didn't want. My mom says I'm crazy, but, I'm not scared to tell her anything b/c shes openminded.
Just make sure you know where your kids are, and try to stay involved! Kids are drinking, doing drugs, etc at a very young age now. I see these 13 year olds who show up at shows that are drunk/high and end up crashing at someones house. First thing I think, where are the parents? I know of several teens are homeless b/c they're parents didn't "approave" of their styles. I don't know what my point is.... I guess just keep an openmind!
posted January 19, 2004 07:57 PM
Hey, im only 13 and i have 5 holes in my ear and my belly pierced. It dont hurt to get the belly done, i did not even know the needle went in, and the clap, clamped so hard i did not even fell it, it is so so so cute, but if you get it done you cant play with it it will get infected and dont keep shngin it out cause i did that and some skin came out and it started to bleed and it scared me so i took better care of it. But yeah it is so cute. Im tryin to get my tounge pierced but they dont allow it in my school , but i hardly ever talk to the teacher and i make ggod grades so they usually leave me alone so im going to try to talk my mom into it. Good luck on it if you get it done. Have fun. Bye:):):):):):):)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(*)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K)(K)
posted January 21, 2004 01:46 PM
Mandapoo, I'm so glad you post, really. And you're a great example of why people shouldn't judge a book by it's cover.
I can't contribute much here, don't even have my ears pierced once. I always wanted to when I was younger but my parents said I had to wait till I was 16. By then I'd discovered clip-ons and magnetic ear-rings, so I never went for it. My mother didn't have pierced ears (at all) and then decided to get them pierced (once) as a 50th birthday present to herself.
I actually think temporary tattoos look nice, but nothing big or with too many colors. Some tattoos are real works of art.
I do think of myself as pretty broad-minded and hope I will be if these issues come up. Like most of you said, the hair isn't permanent, so that would be the least of my worries. I'm glad I read this board with all the advice on piercings and tattoos, so if/when it does come up and everyone is in agreement, we'll know the safest way to go.
A question for all those who have their tongues pierced - doesn't it get in the way of doing things? Do you eventually forget it's there, or is it like when you get a chip in your tooth and you constantly "worry" it? I'm not thinking of having one done, I'm just curious.
posted January 21, 2004 04:28 PM
You really forget that your tongue is pierced. I'll be playing with it with my teeth and I don't even realize it for a while. It doesn't affect my speech or my eating, and, most people can't even tell it's there until I laugh. Robin
posted January 22, 2004 04:18 AM
I have a tongue peircing large enough to stick a straw through. It doesn't get in my way at all. I don't even notice its there because it sinks in your tongue. I guess thats the best way to describe it. Most people don't even know its there. I used to be a customer service manager for a grocery store. No one ever said anything about my tongue bar. The companies policy was "If you can't see it, its okey" After 5 and 1/2 years there, I moved to a cubical job. The peace and quiet was great! Of course, I ended up with a closed minded boss. I was there for 6 months until someone said "hey amanda, has a peircing". My boss hounded and hounded me about it when she found out. Even though I never once had to speak to a person face to face or even over the phone. It was sad. I guess I tested their limits, and dyed my hair pink. LOL. Again, she hounded me, but couldn't do anything b/c there wasn't a policy about it. I kept it for about a week, then just dyed it black. Could you believe she tried to tell me that black wasn't a natural color, and I had should go back to brown!? Daily, she singled me out for it. Even though I produced 100% accuracy, and completed 2 to 3 times as much work as my co-workers. Its sad that people can be like that. I guess I shouldn't have tested her limits, but, I can't stand when people are singled out b/c of the way they look. Funny, the day I walked out of that job..... my boss begged for me to stay. I told her exactly why I was walking out too. HA! I guess maybe next time she will think twice about singling someone out
I'm so glad now I'm a WAHM. I no longer have parking, daycare, fuel, or lunch expenses. I also don't have to wonder in the back of my mind, that I'm being singled out, for just being myself.
posted March 25, 2004 12:04 AM
Mandapoo - your comment about the old people with piercings was funny. I was picturing some little old lady with her eyebrow pierced. My mom is 60, and has just gotten another set in her ears... It's funny. I don't have any piercings (other than one in each ear) or tattoos, yet. My parents were very strict about stuff like that. And my dad is a barber, so he freaked out if I did anything to my hair. I started dying it in high school, because I started graying early. The "strangest" color I ever did was that weird burgundy color, and I hated it. I want a tattoo, but I'm being chicken. I don't do well with needles. I just about had a heart attack last night when my hubby tried to get a splinter out of my hand with one. Besides that, I'm trying to lose some weight, and that will be my reward. I'll have to get it somewhere coverable, because my parents would still throw a fit. My husband has a shark on his shoulder, and my parents didn't see him without a shirt on for the first two years we were married. When they did my mom made some nasty little comment about it. I vowed right then (as I had many times before as well) to never be that way with my kids. She did it again the other night, too. I dyed my hair red (just the natural red color, it's usually brown/gray) and she was like, "Oh, you're a redhead," and made a nasty face. If my kids want to dye their hair or get different hair cuts or tattoos, or whatever, I won't have a problem with it. Piercings will depend on where it is, and with both piercings and tattoos, I will have to go with them, and they will have to be old enough to make an educated decision about it. I can totally see my 3 year old with a 3 foot purple mohawk. LOL... He's my rebel.
posted March 25, 2004 01:33 AM
I just don't get the tongue piercing. That one just floors me. I have a very hard time even looking at someone that has their lip or tongue pierced!!!! It makes me cringe! lol! OUCH!!!! Franny
Hahah!!! I hear that one a lot. I don't have any piercings anymore but I had my tongue and my nostril (very cute, not too weird) pierced. I always heard "oh, didn't that hurt?" And to which I reply "I didn't feel a thing". I didn't. No pain. It was odd because you can kind of feel it happening, but theres -no pain-. =) I took it out though because, well I can't remember why now.
As for my children, if I ever have any, as long as it is a covered piercing I would allow it after 17. Tattoos have to wait until their 18 (They're so permenent). I would prefer my kids wait (I didn't do anything to my body until I was 22), but after 18 there is much you can do.
posted April 15, 2004 04:08 PM
Heehee what a fun topic! When I was in the delivery room 10 months ago, I had blue and purple hair, full tatoos wrapping around my arms and back, not to mention quite a bit of metal strategically placed upon my person! As the nurse was helping me take my nipple rings out, she said,"well, what exactly is your kid going to be able to do to rebel?" My response? "Become a republican". As for my son eventually taking the path to alter his appearance...hmmm...I believe in reasonable age restrictions. Unless it's the ear, no piercings til thirteen, and only then the nose. At 16 he can pierce other areas WITHIN REASON. Considering genital or tongue piercings are purely for sexual stimulation, I will not be encouraging that! As for hair, it's tricky. I've seen some kids as young as ten with blue hair and all I thought was "What are his parents thinking?" But by 14, they want to express themselves, so I say go for it. It'll grow out! Tatoos...wait until 18, no matter what. So many kids don't realize the ramifications of permanently altering your body. My dad was living with me when I was 19, and I got my first. At 18, when I was originally going to get it, he said "wait 1 year. If at the end of the year you still want the same design, I'll pay for it." Good advice, I think! Oh, BTW, if your kid's a late bloomer, remind him/her that when they grow, the skin stretches and distorts the artwork. Translation: Butterfly one year, creepy looking bat-thing the next.
posted May 02, 2004 01:09 PM
Ok i am a 13 year old female and i live in Ashburn Ga. I currently have been wanting a eyebrow peircing and my parents say that i can but i will have to pay for it which i think is reasonable. I think that adults and the law and all those folks should let people do what they want to their body. I mean they are gonna do it anywayz so they are just wastin their time. Peircings are exceptable because if they get one and they dont like it, it can grow back and then they would havee learned a lesson and if they like it then they will be happy. Besides doesnt everybody say that you should be happy and that you should love and respect yourself? That is just what we teens are doing! trying to improve ourselves to make us happy with ourselves!! About the hair thing it goes the same way. If we dont like ourselves then why dont we changfe ourselves so that we will be respected. Not by other people but by ourselves and the people who dont really care what other people think about them! I am a big fan of pink so the pink hair dye is a great idea!!!
posted May 02, 2004 03:56 PM
Well, Amber, it's always interesting to get an actual teen's response. The problem I personally have with allowing very young children to get piercings is a maintenance issue. Certain piercings, the eyebrow, tongue, nose, belly button, and cartiledge, require a lot of care and cleansing during the healing process. Also, a tongue bar is used for things a thirteen year old shouldn't be thinking of, and a belly button piercing is something to be shown off by clothing that a 13 year old shouldn't be wearing (old men will look at you in bad ways, trust me). An eyebrow piercing can also easily gte infected, not to mention ripped out during activities. If you are a very responsible teen, which if you are reading a message board devoted to moms I'm hoping that means you are, then I think it's great your parents are TRUSTING you enough with your decision.
posted May 12, 2004 03:20 PM
Oooh a little late on this one I see. I'm a 23 year old mom of one who actually designs tattoos for friends and family members. As a teenager I did EVERYTHING to rebel, black lipstick, dyed hair, funky clothes, other things I can't talk about nor want to think about. I did this ALL because my parents said I couldn't do this or do that. I grew up in a heavily strict home with parents who were extreme in their beliefs and structure. I still need counseling for that, though that is another story. Being a somewhat respectful teenager, I waited until my 18th birthday and pierced away. Of those piercings, here at 23, I have just my tongue and tragus (part on the ear). I have scars from the eyebrow and navel. I waited until my husband and I were ready to get tattooed, and now have two. The catch here is that I got the two designs I had drawn over 10 years ago. They mean something and are far from disrespectful. My husband's bears our son's name. I stopped dying my hair when I met my husband and now don dark brown natural heathly hair.
As a mother, I'd hope to be more liberal than my parents were. My son's body is precious and is unflawed, however seeing things as art doesn't put the flawed outlook on body art. I am an artist so this makes me different. I would hope my son would respect me in my request for him to wait until his body stops growing and until he has given time to the thoughts he has of adding to himself. With any daughters I may have in the future, my feelings will be the same. It's a matter of helping your child make the right decisions and being there when they need you instead of forcing them to feel like they have to do something so outlandish.
Mind you, I am not saying to be your child's best friend, just be a parent and a shoulder to cry on when they need you. Your teenagers need you more than they admit.
posted June 15, 2004 03:31 PM
I'm 17 going on 18 and I have had my lip pierced for about a year. I also have an industrial ear piercing and my conch (the inner part of your ear pierced) my mother is a good baptist women and does not share my alternitive live style. BUT she signed for 2 or my 3 major ear piercings. my hair is also a purplish-maroon color. She loves the color of my hair and likes the lip piercing if I don't play with it. I did 2 monthes of research before presenting her with the idea of getting my lip pierced. Piercings shouldn't be taken lightly but they don't need to be taken as serious as permitt things such as tattoos. I can take my lip piercing out and it will heal over and you won't be able to see it. before allowing your child to GET a piercing I suggest doing alot of research. call and talk to your local piercing and tattoo shops. the people that work in these places are usually more than happy to talk to parent. I realize one day...maybe even one day soon I will have to scale down my piercings...expecially my lip (it'll have to go) and I will have to get a job and be a big girl. but while your kid is a teen and does not have these obligations of a career I think they should be free to explore what is or is not "them". pre-teens and teen are just trying to find themselves. Hair color will NOT distroy your hair. As long as you go easy on bleach your natural hair WILL grow back out. My mom HATES how it looks when your roots show that was always her bog thing when it came to me dying my hair. but my hair is short and easy redyable. I also dress a bit "out there" sometimes...my mom doesn't always agree with my choice of wardrob but she does give me props on being brave and outgoing. she says she could never walk around looking like me but if I can then go me. Anyway if anyone..mom...kids...anyone has questions about any of this let me know I love to hear others opinions
posted June 15, 2004 03:40 PM
When was anyone an individual really. in the 60's everyone followed what was in...sence way back when its always been the same. Let the kids think they are being different...you did too when you where young. Anyway I wanted to warn you. if your daughter ever wants to get her tongue pierced say no. I'm almost 18 and I used to want mine done. I have grown out of that and I'm glad. Alot of girls today look slutty with them...not all just most. And by the time she is at the age she'll do it attract the attention of boys...the wrong boys....only the boys that want the wrong things. I know I live it. It will also really mess up her mouth it will chip her teeth and rub down her gums. she'll say it doesn't and that she can get a plastic one and it won't do these things...she's wrong..she's trying to con you. She won't see the effects till its too late. I have my lip pierced and I had to switch jewelry 3 times before I find the right one that won't wear my gums down....gums DON'T grow back..teeth...don't grow back LOL. I've had my lips pierced now for a year and my mouth is fine. but I knew when I got it..I'd take it out one day...when I get threw college and move on into a career I can't have my lip pierced..I knew that. I wanted it while I was young and wacky and could still do it. I'm glad I did it and I will be sad to let it go...but I do not want to be a 40 year ld women with a lip piercing..I've seen it...its not pretty.
quote:Anyway I wanted to warn you. if your daughter ever wants to get her tongue pierced say no. I'm almost 18 and I used to want mine done. I have grown out of that and I'm glad. Alot of girls today look slutty with them...not all just most. And by the time she is at the age she'll do it attract the attention of boys...the wrong boys....only the boys that want the wrong things. I know I live it. It will also really mess up her mouth it will chip her teeth and rub down her gums. she'll say it doesn't and that she can get a plastic one and it won't do these things...she's wrong..she's trying to con you. She won't see the effects till its too late.
Firstly I'm going to have to disagree with this whole part of your post. I've never attracted any of the wrong kinds of boys. I have a tattoo, multiple ear piercings and a tongue piercing. I've had my tattoo since I was 18. I'm 31 now. I stopped getting my ears pierced after the 6th hole (I have an even number on each side so that's 6 on both sides). I've had my tongue pierced for about 6 years now. I have a very nice gold barbell my dh gave me for Christmas 4 years ago. Before that I had purchase a shorter stainless steel one to shorten the bar bell. I don't have anything wrong with my teeth or gums and never have.
I have yet to see or hear of anyone I know with piercings to have anything like you just described. I am of the mind set though that if my child is going to have anything more than their ears pierced they can do it with their own money when they can go get it done without my signing for it. All the piercings and tattoos I have I got after the age of 18. I don't regret any and still wear all my earings and have only once taken out my tongue ring when I had surgery.
I would say it's the decision of the individual to get anything done and not just because they will or won't attract the wrong boys or damage their teeth. There are a whole lotta other things out there that will damage your mounth more than a piercing every would.
posted June 16, 2004 03:55 AM
Even though this is a pretty old topic (though on-going), I felt I had to chime in as I'm probably the person with the most piercings here.
This is me from a few months ago (my most recent pic):
This was me when I was younger (about 17-18):
I currently have:
- 4 tattoos (wrist, hip, upper arm, and the back of my neck) - 12 piercings (8 ears, 1 lip/labret, 1 nostril, both eyebrows - I used to have my tongue pierced, but took it out due to teeth issues) - bright, unnatural red hair (in the past my hair as been singularly, or a combination of: purple, blue, green, red, black, blonde, yellow, white/silver, fushia, orange, and many other colors, both "natural" and "unnatural")
I've been this way for almost 10 years now, and I can promise you it's not a "phase I'll grow out of". It's also not an act of rebellion, as my parents are both covered in tattoos and (ear) piercings. It's also not about friends, music, or anything along those lines - I've never had many friends and those I did have were definitely not "like this". Neither is it a "cry for attention", as I am one of the shyest, most introverted people you will probably ever meet.
I dress and decorate myself in this manner because I find it beautiful - artistic. I am an extremely artistic individual and have always decorated myself in "non-normal" standards. My tastes in art gravitate towards darker/gothic as well as fantasy, and hence so does my "style".
I would like to mention that (without sounding "cocky" here) I am an extremely intelligent person - maintained a 4.33 GPA throughout high school, attended a specialized high school in NC for advanced students (The North Carolina School of Science and Mathematics - a live-on-campus high school for advanced studies), and graduated 4 months early. I was accepted on full scholarship to NCSU (though I unfortunately gave that up to be with someone I thought I was in love with at the time - one of the biggest mistakes of my life considering he dumped me a year later and now I am having trouble finding finances to attend college). I have also been a "good kid" my entire life - never got into any major drugs [I drank occasionally and had been known to "smoke" a bit - though my personal convictions/knowledge on the subject of Marijuana are steadfast in that I see nothing wrong with it - at least not any more so than alcohol or cigarettes as long as used in moderation (for all three) - but that is a different discussion]. I did not become sexually active until I was 18 - and even then it was only during long term (1+ year) relationships and never haphazardly. Furthermore, I don't even use curse words!
I would also like to mention that the tongue piercing was never a "sexual" issue for me. I got my tongue pierced when I was 16 and was not sexually active in any manner at that time.
I have run into many problems with my appearance, socially and employment related. People tend to think that if you have piercings/tattoos/dyed hair that you are unintelligent and/or a "devil worshipper". I was suspended from high school on many occasions simply due to heresay - for instance, once I was suspended because a student reported that I had a book in my bookbag containing graphic images of animals being sacrificed to the devil. First, I have never owned any such books and have never been into "devil worship". Second, I have been an adimate animal rights activist since I was 12 years old and such images would disgust me more than most. Finally, I whole-heartedly consented to a full search of my bag and locker, to which the principal refused stating he didn't need the proof, that he would suspend me anyway. I was also suspended for incidents such as wearing solid black (nothing insulting, just a black tshirt and black jeans - but after the Columbine incident, people like myself were/have been targeted in a modern day "witch hunt"). The only problems I ever had during my school days were due to this type of discrimination - and though I wished to fight the battle legally, my father thought it was a "waste of time" and allowed this type of thing to continue.
Of course, employment related, it is impossible to find a job with "abnormal" hair coloring or facial piercings - so throughout my job history I have "toned down" my appearance and taken out my piercings during work hours. Another reason I'm pursuing work at home - to be able to express myself with my outward appearance as I see fit.
As far as my future children are concerned, I see no problems with allowing them to have their hair colored/styled any way they please. I would only worry about them being mistreated by other members of society based on appearance, the way I have been. I do plan to homeschool for various reasons, so facing the problems I faced in high school should not be an issue. Piercings and tattoos I also see no problem with as long as they are old enough to a) no longer be growing so the piercings wouldn't migrate and the tattoos wouldn't distort and b) so they understand the permanence of the piercing/tattoo and what effect it may have on their social and/or employment related interactions.
I firmly believe that people should be treated fairly and equally no matter what race, religion, or manner of self expression they choose, but until everyone trully takes this to heart, I will continue my uphill battle. I understand that many of you here are more "conservative", so to speak, in your views on the issue, but please realize that just because I look different does not mean I am any less intelligent, or less of person. Until society in general accepts people for who they are and not how they look, people like myself are going to continually be treated in the manner I described above. And so, I plead with you all - even if you do not want your children to be this way, please do not think negatively about people who are. We need to live and work like the rest of you, but we must struggle and hide our self-expression to make it in the world today.
I would love to see the day where coporate offices include people with pink hair and multiple piercings. I would love to see the day where I do not have to pretend to be a person I am not in order to have a shot at a decent job.
I am sorry for the length of this - as you can tell this is an issue that directly effects me and has been for many years... not to mention one I am strongly passionate about.
posted June 18, 2004 11:57 PM
Luna, I found your post very enlightening. In fact, when I caught a few moments of one of the Zenon (outerspace teen show the kids like)tv show the other night I thought to myself how appearances seem to be "evolving". I'm not saying I'm comfortable with them - or with all of them, especially for myself or my own kids, but I don't look at "decorated people" in the same way as I used to.
My oldest son did all of his own piercings as I would not sign for any of them. He has pierced both ears, the labret (spelling) two or three times, eyebrow, etc. Yesterday he came home and showed me he had his tongue pierced (something I absolutely had refused and mostly because of the horror stories I had heard of infections, etc). He will be 18 in April.
Anyway, I have a question - for anyone who knows. It's been about 5 days since he had it done and thankfully it is NOT huge, he has been drinking ice water, keeping mouth clean, avoiding dairy, etc. Today the bottom of his tongue started hurting and he says it feels swollen. He bought the Bacterial Rinse that was recommended (don't recall the name of it) but I'm wondering how long before he will know if it's just sore from "playing with the bar" or if it is possibly infected. If it is infected (or gets infected) can a regular family doctor handle it? Or should he see a dentist? TIA
posted June 20, 2004 08:31 AM
First and foremost how did he get it done and where? My BEST advice is to take him to a Tat/Piercing shop and let a professional check him out. i had complications the first time I did it (yes, I had it done twice) because I went to a shop that I found out later was not the right choice... I went to my friend, who was a body piercer for a larger company and she promptly removed it and repierced a month or so later. In my teens, i spent a lot of time around those shops, so I'd say take him to a place that has a good reputation and get their piercer to check his tounge out.
'According to him', it was a professional piercer. He said the worst part was when they clamped his tongue (that it really hurt) - not the piercing, but holding his tongue hurt. Also that the piercer went from under the tongue up (or so it felt to him). On TV I saw one tongue piercing and it looked like they went from the top down. Don't know if that matters. It seems farther back on my son's tongue than some I have seen. Aren't there pretty good sized blood vessels in there?
He's rinsing several times a day with Biotene and says the underside feels like there is a rough canker sore there.
I'll tell him to check with another reputable shop (or two) and have them look at it for him. Thank you for the advice - I didn't even think of asking another piercer.
posted July 22, 2004 12:34 AM
Well umm most of you guys seem pretty cool I mean my parents were never like that nor were my bro or sis but i still have a lot to learn (i'm only 13). But I think that if you express yourself however you feel no matter how you look or what you do (to yourself) like peircings it should be a beautiful thing. I have friends who think just because someone likes the way they do things that they are posers because they do basicly the same thing but with a twist. I got my hair died blue my favorite band is metalica and i still play with barbies. Basicly it really doesn't matter how you look just how you treat others. And if i ever had kids shure i would explain things like why they shouldn't do stuff but also some of the reasons why they might and should. And as long as they are happywith it it shouldn't matter. oh and the peircing thing you are so cool for letting him do that!!!
------------------ its ok to be fun...but be safe doing it!
posted July 22, 2004 03:33 AM
terrapin, My mom is my best friend in the whole world we laug and joke and talk about everything in the world (from sex to dildos to man problems to politics) I am 22 now I was what I guess you would call a "freaky" teenager I dyed my hair everycolor imaginable pink purple green black you name it. I had pretty much everything with a hole in it at some point.. Eyebrow, Lip, Nose, Tongue, Naval, (my unmentionables), Nipples, I even had my hand pierced once. Now I only have my tongue nose and ears pierced.. I never got into the tattoo thing because they are perm.. My theory is any piercing can be taken out and healed over at any time so no problem. Tattoos are perm and you have to live with them forever. I would recommend letting your kids get piercings and not tattoos. I was also a straight A honor roll student and I think makybe if my parents hadnt allowed me to express myself I might have been more rebelious
quote:Originally posted by terrapin: Here's one for those of you with teens and even pre-teens.
Does you child hae piercings, tatoos, and colored hair, black lipstick, or any other one of those things that make some parents nuts?
If they wanted to would you let them? If not, do you think they would do it without your permission anyhow?
Do you think their decision is affected by music,friends, internet or just the need to be different?
quote:Originally posted by FrannyK: I just don't get the tongue piercing. That one just floors me. I have a very hard time even looking at someone that has their lip or tongue pierced!!!! It makes me cringe! lol! OUCH!!!!
Franny
Actually my tongue ring (both times) hurt ALOT less than getting my ears pierced (which pratically didnt hurt at all)
posted November 17, 2004 04:46 PM
I pierced my 10 yr old's eyebrow last night...for his birthday....today he wore a bandaid to school over it....they told him he had to remove it...i'm getting ready to homeschool...he has a right to be who he wants.....signed Mom..RN.
posted November 17, 2004 04:49 PM
I pierced my 10 yr old's eyebrow last night...for his birthday....today he wore a bandaid to school over it....they told him he had to remove it...i'm getting ready to homeschool...he has a right to be who he wants.....signed Mom..RN. okay..well..now he's 11.
posted November 18, 2004 01:30 AM
Should we keep our teenagers from doing this? I don't really think so. I myself was a very sheltered child. I was homeschooled pretty much through middle school and in highschool starting in the middle of my freshman year. I was allowed no friends, had to take my mom with me on dates (no joke, mom dad, and granny one time)and was allowed no social life. This was thier way of protecting me. When I turned 18 I went wild. I had a few pericings done...my boob, my tounge and ear cartlidge. I died my hair many colors. Was this considered bad, or was the drugs I started to take. Name any drug in the book that doesnt require shooting up and you can pretty much bet I have done it. My point to all of this, is that if they are not allowed to experience such things as teenagers they might just do it anyway, or wait and do it anyway still. I feel as if I had an understanding parent that was there for me, and let me experience the little things like died hair, I would not have gone silly later on. They need a friend, not an over powering person to rule their life.
posted December 15, 2004 10:25 AM
Chipping in my two cents, as a 19-year-old college student (no kids, but since I am still in the transition from kid to adult, perhaps I can bridge the gap a bit ):
First of all, so you know where I'm coming from and can frame my point of view appropriately, I'm a senior in college, Catholic, was home-schooled until age 15 (when I graduated), was a military brat, and the daughter of health professionals (Dad is an MD, Mom was an RN). You'd think that either I'd go totally wild out of rebellion or would be so straight-laced I'd make Bush do a double-take. In my case, I think the forces balanced out.
I currently have one hole in each earlobe (acquired at age 11). I use permanent dyes on my hair regularly (4-5 times/year), but since my hair is naturally matte black (I'm Korean--adopted), I've opted for the present time to choose very dark shades with red tones to augment my natural color. It's a little bit more noticeable in the sunlight, but the last time I went to my parents' house, my own mother didn't realize I'd dyed. For special events, such as major home games, I sometimes use wash-out dyes to paint streaks in my hair, and I once had fire-engine-red highlights in very, very thin streaks for about a month in the summer. (I enjoyed them, but got tired of them and dyed them back out.) This is a choice that I've made because it suits my personal style, but I think it also reflects the careful way that my parents taught me to think about appearance modifications.
I realize that you can't really give comprehensive parenting advice until you're a parent, and on those grounds, I'm not qualified. I've been told I am very mature for my age, and am usually taken to be in my early to mid-twenties (I've had guesses ranging from 21-26), but I am still only 19. Therefore, please take my advice with a grain of salt, and be aware that I'm offering it with similar seasoning.
That said, I think my parents handled the situation very well. They sat me down and discussed things with me, and naturally we haggled back and forth a bit, but they managed to convey their feelings to me in a way that I could truly understand and make sense of even as a child. Most importantly, I think, they got me to really think--and think hard--about the consequences of any modifications I chose to make in my appearance.
I'd like to be able to assume that all parents do this; and I -can- assume that at least a lot of parents -want- to do this. Nevertheless, all too often I witnessed the confrontations between my friends and their parents. These confrontations tended to include phrases like "Because I said so!" and the old stand-by "While you live under my roof...", as well as, "Why would you want to -do- that to your body?!" Such confrontations lacked any real dialogue; any real explanations; any reasons -not- to "do that to your body." It's the tempting response, I realize, for beleaguered parents who just want their kids to SETTLE DOWN and behave and listen to them without the constant stream of "Why can't I...?" and "My friend's mom lets her..." and "You don't understand me!" The problem is that if you don't find the time and the patience to deal with these questions seriously, all the child comes away with is a feeling of frustration and a sense that her parents really -don't- understand/care about her feelings/etc. From personal experience, I can tell you that this creates a prime breeding ground for urges to rebellion. (I wasn't a perfect child! ) If you'll think back, I suspect you'll find you felt the same way when -your- parents gave -you- those kinds of answers. And the last thing you want your kid to do, if you don't approve of certain measures, is to go ahead and do them out of blind rebellion, without thinking about them at all!
As someone's daughter, what I hope other parents will chose to do is this: - Take the time, MAKE the time, to sit down with your child and really discuss the issues. It's best to wait until he/she wants to talk about it--when the first questions start popping up; or at least until junior high or later elementary, when such things start really becoming a factor in your child's everyday life. If you don't, be warned: your child may apply the Parental Lecture filter to what you're saying and nod with a glazed expression. And if you don't have time right at that moment, make an appointment as soon as possible to have the discussion, and KEEP the appointment. You're trying to make a point about responsibility, and examples really do count. This also shows that you are taking the matter seriously and not tossing off a parental standard to deflect the topic. - Try to be receptive to the questions that he or she will inevitably have, and do your best to respond to them honestly and calmly. A good conversation will stick with your child longer than a monologue from her or his parent. Remember the Parental Lecture filter--you had one, didn't you? - If the kid you're talking to starts getting out of control, or if you feel your grip on sanity starting to slip, try to preserve the mood as much as you can. Ideally, tell your child that both of you should probably do something different for a while, but that you would like to come back to this conversation when he or she is ready to discuss it in a more mature manner. - DO discuss the more complex issues with your child: how modifications can affect the way others view a person, how it may be against school dress codes, how it can affect college admissions interviews, job interviews, and what the major health risks are. Stress the importance of hygienic conditions, too, just in case your child gives in to a moment of weakness and goes ahead without your okay. Sure, it'll make you angry, but you don't want serious health problems to deal with on top of that. (Hepatitis? No fun!) If you can tell that they are not ready to think about these things, and if they're not able to really take these issues to heart and respond to you about them, then they are not yet ready to make decisions that will permanently alter their appearance. - If rock-star fandom is an issue, just try mentioning to them that those people look the way they look because it is part of their job. Remind them to think of these modifications in context of their own lives. - Point out to your child that they've changed their mind about the way they want to dress, wear their hair, and entertain themselves several times already; ask them if they really think they're ready to commit to something that they -can't- change when the fashions change. And explain -why- you feel the way you do about things that you have put an absolute ban on. - DO explore non-permanent alternatives. Wash-out and semi-permanent dyes are a great way to experiment with hair color, and can be done during times when it will not be a major problem (breaks, -after- conservative Grandma's visit, etc.) Clip-on or magnetic earrings are also a help, and paint-on tattoos look better than press-on and last longer. And if permanent hair dyes are an absolute must, highlights are a fun and low-risk way to change and make sure that your child really -does- want to stick with a change. Start with subtle highlights. And be aware that highlighted hair will pick up subsequent dye jobs more than the non-highlighted hair. - DO be willing to compromise, within reasonable limits. If your child wants to dye her hair bubblegum pink, don't say no altogether; suggest a shade closer to a natural color, such as a bright auburn, instead. Sometimes teenagers really just want a touch of drama, and any change that they can get without getting in trouble is better than no change at all--or something they have to undo immediately. - And do have your kids save up their own money for such modifications as you do approve. They'll consider their decision more carefully if they know they have to give up their own cash in exchange for something they might not like.
And most of all, remember that most things, other than tattoos, can be undone. Take a deep breath. If it's a must, you can have your kids remove new piercings (they'll heal), or re-dye their hair to a color found in nature. Try not to scream too much, and hang on tight: it's probably not going to be the first or last time your children shock you to pieces. You love your children. Sometimes they make you insane, but you love them.
And it's important that they (we, in my case) know that.
posted December 15, 2004 10:51 AM
Okay not sure if I am going to get flamed here oh well.
Anyway, I am a very very young mom for my eldest childs age. I have a 10 almost 11 yr old and I will be 27 next month (you can do the math).
I have no problem with the hair, makeup, clothes (as long as they are not slutty), ect.
But there is no way in hell I am going to let my daughter pierce her tongue or her belly button.
Why you ask? Why does she need these areas done? Who needs to look at a 13 yr olds belly. Why would she need her tongue pierced.
I am sooooo laid back so I am surprised I am the one on the conservative end but I construe these things as being sexual and many young boys do to.
Have you seen the movie Thirteen? I have met and seen girls like that.
My daughter won't be wearing belly shirts either. No way, no how.
I am very very open with her and she knows all this. One of her friends is a little fast to say the least.
She asked if she could wear tube tops in middle school. Um no, I don't think so. She doesn't need to wear this stuff to be unique.
But I totally understand self expression and if she wants to die her hair and pick out her clothes (like I said as long as they aren't prostitute looking) I don't have a problem with that.
JMO. BTW to whomever posted that picture, you are quite beautiful. Your makeup looks really good.
Stacey
****edited say she can pierce and tatoo whatever the heck she wants when she is 18.
[This message has been edited by swocky1 (edited December 15, 2004).]
posted December 17, 2004 05:12 AM
A few years ago, my 16 year old nephew showed up for Christmas with bright orange hair. My sister informed us that previously it had been white and various shades of green. I asked my sister how she felt about and she said, "Deb, my son is an honor roll student. He scored high on his SAT's, has great friends, doesn't drink, do drugs or talk back. He helps around the house, has good manners and is great to his younger brothers and sisters. I can live with some wierd hair."
posted December 17, 2004 11:26 PM
Interesting thread!! First and foremost, I wanna stress to my kids how looks are fleeting and do not define a person's heart and a person's character. There won't be so much emphasis on looks in this house-it's going to more about developing good, strong, moral kids who make a difference in the world. While I'm not going to knock others for the choices they make, I will not allow my kids to get piercings or tattoos. If they become of age and decide to do it, I guess I can't stop them, but I'll still love them just the same. However, if they want to color their hair like a friggin' rainbow and dress in whatever, I'm not going to say anything, so long as they are doing well in school, being the good kids I raised them to be, and their clothes aren't raunchy. The non-permanent stuff doesn't bother me so much. I don't believe in getting tattoos and piercings for myself (although I admit I've mulled over the idea of getting a nose piercing before), I like to just fool with my hair because it's fun. So, I'll dye it red here, then the next time I'll go platinum blonde, now I have black hair. My husband likes the black hair, lol. I just think it's fun to play around. It's kind of therapeutic. If I want to express myself, though, I write a poem or a story. I hope my kids will do the same. I just want them to always know God made them perfect and in His own image. He knows our hearts and our minds, so the outward appearance really doesn't matter. I wish we'd all spend more time working on our souls (that includes me, too).
[This message has been edited by LoriJ76 (edited December 17, 2004).]
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posted November 04, 2003 01:31 AM
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