Marriage help does not need to come from a specialist. Sometimes, you are the most knowledgeable and capable person to analyze what you need to do to reconnect with your spouse. Children, finances, work, elderly parents and other aspects of life can place a lot of strain on a marriage. However, the most important thing in any family is the parent's marriage. Giving you and your spouse time to connect with each other can be the key to a lasting, comfortable and happy marriage. Here are five tips for reconnecting with your spouse:
1. Make a Date Night
A story about an enduring tradition between a husband and wife to have a weekly date night usually makes every listener a little emotional. Everyone wants to have that type of love, but very few people put in the required effort. Identify one night of the week, be it during the week or on the weekend, that is just for you and your spouse. Your date night does not have to be anything big and does not even need to take place outside the house. It can occur when your children are still awake or after they go to bed, depending on your schedules. The important thing is to make sure that at least one night a week you and your spouse are focused only on each other. Scheduling this night in for the first month will remind and push you to keep that commitment; after a little while, your date night will become second nature.
2. Begin a Hobby Together
Finding a common interest and a way to participate in that interest together might be a great motivator to get you and your spouse together. The hobby doesn't have to be anything expensive and can even just be you and your spouse putting a puzzle together or trying a new bottle of wine each week. Doing something that you both enjoy will be entertaining and create memories.
3. Involve the Kids
Reconnecting with your spouse does not necessarily mean that you should exclude the children. Often, taking your children out for a simple treat, such as ice cream, can provide you and your spouse with the perfect amount of time together. Your children will focus on eating while you and your spouse can talk.
4. Surprise Your Spouse
If your spouse is reluctant or not responsive to your trying to reconnect with him, surprise him with your plan. Whether it be with or without the kids, putting the effort into spending time together may be the push your partner needs. Don't wait for your spouse to get on the bandwagon of reconnecting; starting the process yourself means that it will actually happen rather than get lost in the shuffle.
Reconnecting doesn't mean talking or being active; reconnecting can mean simply listening. It's easy to get caught up in planning and executing ways to reconnect, but sometimes all that work is unnecessary. To reconnect, you and your partner might just need to start paying more attention to each other. During dinner, getting ready for bed or when watching television, listen to what your partner says. A quite night of conversation can have a more positive effect than dinner and movie.