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How to be a Good Husband

By Cheryl Demas

Surprise your wife with flowers. Or, since flowers can be expensive, every now and then, write a quick love note to her while youre at work and give it to her as soon as you get home. Shell know that you have been thinking about her during the day. Shes tired from the demands of her day, and this will be a truly welcome day brightener.

Let her know that youre happy to see her, greet her with a smile. Dont complain if the house isnt in perfect order. You dont know how stressful the day has been for your wife. If you see something that needs to be done, do it, shell appreciate it more than you know.

When you change out of your work clothes, dont put on the rattiest t-shirt and gym shorts in your closet, you still want to look nice for your wife. If your work leaves you dirty and sweaty, take a quick shower when you get home. Imagine youre still dating, how did you present yourself to her then?

Dont just turn on the TV and plop down on the couch. Ask her about the day and really listen to her answer. Tell her about your day, if somethings bothering you at work, share it with your wife. Dont leave the days frustrations bottled up inside. Speak calmly and work on your problems together. Youre partners in this life, share it with one another.

After dinner dont start right in on that project youve been working on. Spend time with your wife, occasionally offer to give her a foot massage or a back rub. Compliment her on her appearance.

Spend time with the children, they havent seen you all day and theyll be anxious to share their day with you too.

Your Goal: A loving partnership with the woman you love.

Sound good ladies? Now ... read this:

The following is supposedly taken from a 1950s high school Home Economics text book. Thanks to Suzanne on the WAHM list for bringing it to my attention. If anyone has more information on the source of this, please write to me.

How To Be A Good Wife
Have dinner ready. Plan ahead, even the night before, to have a delicious meal - on time. This is a way of letting him know that you have been thinking about him and are concerned about his needs. Most men are hungry when they come home and the prospect of a good meal is part of the warm welcome needed.

Prepare yourself. Take fifteen minutes to rest so that you'll be refreshed when he arrives. Touch up your makeup, put a ribbon in your hair and be fresh looking. He has just been with a lot of work-weary people. Be a little gay and more interesting. His boring day may need a lift.

Clear away the clutter. Make one last trip through the main part of the house just before your husband arrives, gathering up school books, toys, paper, etc. Then run a dust cloth over the tables. Your husband will feel he has reached a haven of rest and order, and it will give you a lift, too.

Prepare the children. Take a few minutes to wash the children's hands and faces if they are small, comb their hair and if necessary, change their clothes. They are little treasures and he would like to see them playing the part.

Minimize all noise. At the time of his arrival, eliminate all noise of the washer, dryer, dishwasher, or vacuum. Try to encourage the children to be quiet. Be happy to see him,

Some don'ts: Don't greet him with problems or complaints. Don't complain if he's late for dinner. Count this as minor compared with what he might have gone through that day. Make him comfortable. Have him lean back in a comfortable chair or suggest he lie down in the bedroom. Have a cool or warm drink ready for him. Arrange his pillow and offer to take off his shoes.

Speak in a low, soft, soothing and pleasant voice. Allow him to relax and unwind.

Listen to him. You may have a dozen things to tell him, but the moment of his arrival is not the time. Let him talk first.

Make the evening his: Never complain if he does not take you out to dinner or to other places of entertainment. Instead, try to understand his world of strain and pressure, his need to be home and relax.

Your Goal: Try to make your home a place of peace and order where your husband can renew himself in body and spirit.

When I first read this, I laughed! "How ridiculous, I thought. "That would be the day, when Im treated like some kind of servant." Then I started thinking about how I would describe "A Good Husband" and as you have read, it's not much different.

Im happy to do things for my husband, my goal is to make him happy. But it cant be a one sided arrangement, in turn, his goal is to make me happy. I think the reason we bristle at the 50s version of domestic life is because it does seem so one-sided. "Take" for the husband and "Give" from the wife. I propose my model for the 90s, pass on the good-husband list, and see what kind of response you get. Try it out on each other. Whats the worst that could happen?????


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